Saturday, January 31, 2015

I Owe It All To You

Tonight I listened to authors read at the Normandie Hotel. I always enjoy this evening of tea and readings. I am in constant awe of the talent that abounds in Sweet T&T. My friend and I agreed that it inspires us to continue creating and dreaming those BIG dreams. 

This was a perfect end to what began as a tumultuous day. A family member once again pointed out to me that I should give up on my dream and get a "real job." I've come to expect it, as it has been years in the making. The root of the bitterness and venom with which it was said however was baffling as this person is over a decade my senior and doesn't even live in the same country.

In times like this I rely on my little background in psychology from college days which helps me to understand the motives of others. Our belief systems are so vastly different, such that what one person thinks doesn't affect my goals or focus in any way. It also doesn't affect my purpose nor diminishes my talent. We are all on different paths in life and our ideals are different, although not always realized.

That's why I remain thankful when my friends and strangers alike appreciate my work. I don't take it lightly because I feel like my artform has purpose. My life has meaning. That in itself is enough reward and motivation to continue doing what I'm doing. 

I'm elated that even when I travel to other cultures, persons express interest in what I do. This gives me hope to know that with the right strategic direction, I can transcend my gift to other shores in living colour. This is my bigger dream. I'm #ThinkingOutLoud again. The stars are already aligning for this to happen, as fortuitously various persons in that field have already crossed my path.

My writing traverses spatial and temporal barriers and enormous amounts of time can go by before I get weary. This morning for example I went to bed at 6 am editing my book. I read the latest revised chapter for my sister a while ago and she said to me that it was "beautiful, therapeutic and calming!" 

It took us on a stroll down memory lane as I spoke about the things my parents used to do for us, especially the things my Dad did for me when he was alive and well, just a few years before when I started this memoir. My sister said my words brought her peace.

I do this for you Daddy. I owe it all to you. Without your encouragement, I would not be an author today.

THANK YOU times infinity xoxoxo ... I will love you forever.

Peace & Love

Friday, January 30, 2015

Let Tomorrow Worry About Itself!

I must warn that this blog is a bit of a rant! Be warned :/ #NeedToVent

Another Friday is here and I should be out celebrating. But I'm not. Honestly I've been stuck in a rut for the past couple days barely leaving the house. Just working on editing my book and planning for my next workshop. I was actually supposed to attend a Carnival theatre tonight but there was a change of plans. It suddenly hit me: your thoughts control your behaviour, so Carolyn: just channel your thoughts. It seemed to work.

At times I wonder what kind of world do we live in and are there no honest, genuine people anymore! Or am I just doing something wrong!? Or maybe I was just brought up too sheltered! It baffles me beyond words:( Without dwelling on the subject, I must find solace in the fact that the few good people I have in my life are true gems and for this I am grateful. I will leave the dishonest, fake ones up to God.

This weekend I engage with other writers and storytellers. It's time to let my hair down, kick off my heels and have some fun. I am by no means a religious person but sometimes the words just pop into my mind. I read somewhere recently and remember the quotations from my Dad: Jesus said: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Wise words that I need to follow.

Looking forward to a great weekend! Hope yours is out of this world! Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Sneak Peek at My New Book!

Just thought I'd share a sneak peek of what my new book is about. It's a memoir about my journey over the last 6 years. It's perfect for persons transitioning careers, seeking their life's purpose or embarking on entrepreneurship. 

It did not start out as a memoir but was however intended to be another motivational/inspirational book like my first. But last December I decided to go in another direction.


It was first inspired by my Dad who encouraged me to write books in 2009. And also by my experiences especially on the sister isle in 2013 which led me to follow my dream: entrepreneurship. 

The journey has been exciting as I've met many kindred spirits who, like me are on a path to self-discovery, self-actualization and fulfilling a deeper purpose that we did not find at our regular 8-4 job. 


It is meant to inspire and make you think about the meaning of life in the grand scheme of things...Even though we may take a detour every now and then, it is meant to keep you on track with your ultimate purpose which is to do what you were born to do and impact lives for the better. It has now become a labour of love and I hope persons would be able to relate. 

Stay tuned to this space for my progress. I can't wait to share with you!
feeling determined. 

When we are not afraid to embrace change the possibilities are endless.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

How My Mantra Helped Me Kick Fear to the Curb

Yesterday I attended my second meditation class. I got the full experience this time and it was amazing. I made my way to the venue early this time. No closed doors, although I did attempt to gain entry next door, but quickly found my way to the parish hall. 

I was welcomed by Sister Ruth who later briefed me on what to expect. She told me about the mantra or "prayer word" to be said silently throughout the meditation. I also got to listen to "the talk"/reflection on compact disc and I felt my inspiration soar at an exponential rate. I thought about all the things I had to do and how I was going to do it. My procrastination ceased for that hour and I felt like I was on fire! :-)

When the actual meditation began, I found that when I repeated the mantra, my mind became still (for once). I just concentrated on the word and the world stood still too. I not once opened my eyes (OK just once :). I could hear all the sounds outside: the crickets (or frogs don't really know which), the cars as they drove by, the other night sounds. 

I felt like I was in the forest somewhere. At one point I felt as though I was transported to a time long ago, before the industrial age when electricity was not prevalent. Or maybe just when I was a child when the power went out often! lol. That was the feeling it evoked but my thoughts were like a blank canvas. As Sister said, I was no longer thinking in the past or the future, but remaining in the present.

What I found however was that after a while, human nature kicked in and I wanted to get to all the things I felt empowered to do in that moment. I wanted to get back to my life. I used the mantra less and my personal thoughts began to trickle back into my consciousness.

But it was only really my first time. I will get better with time once I continue to work at it. I found that anything you do will yield results once you are committed. 

As I drove home, I did some self-talk. I took the opportunity to do this at night, since other motorists couldn't see me and think I was nuts! I was struggling over a decision to end a group alliance that no longer proved fruitful or healthy for me. I couldn't believe that suddenly I had the urge to tell the person who wronged me: "You are my brother and I love you" despite the explosive feelings of rage I was feeling just the night before. 

This was short lived however as my Mom told me this was a pie in the sky dream (not to use her words) because those persons in question would not reciprocate the sentiments! I guess mother knows best, especially in this instance. Today I made a decision to leave and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders as I arose this morning. 

It feels great to be at peace and free from burden. There was no reason to fear change, because there's nothing my Lord can't fix. I surrender all to Him.

Now there's room for lots more exciting things in my life!

#Maranatha

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Relativity

Today is my sisters' birthday (yes they're twins). The one I refer to in this blog had a great day. But not for the reason you may think. Every time I asked her if she was having a good day she said yes. She enjoyed it in her own way doing what she loved.

I offered to take her and my Mom for ice-cream on the bay. To this she said no. I invited her to come with me to my meditation class this evening, you guessed it. She opted to stay home. 

So what made her day so special? She got to stay home and watch her favourite shows on the tele! Yesterday she sat in my room while I read her an excerpt from my new book and watched Amy Winehouse videos. For her this was fun...and for me too.

However if you made me stay home all day to watch TV (one of my least favourite pastimes for a number of years) I would think you are punishing me. But to my older sister, she was in TV heaven! I guess it's an age specific thing as a couple of my older friends her age also love television.

So to answer the aged-old question: what makes you happy? Staying true to yourself and just "doing you!" Can't go wrong with that...hits the spot every time. To use the words of one of my friends when he described my writing and synopsis for my new book: "no forced extravagance."

Yup my sister is keeping it real.

In a few days I collect her Transformer tablet. I expect that this will "transform" her life!  lol. Indeed it would be hard separating her from that device for a greater part of the day! Ahhh!

What do you love to do on your birthday?! Do share.

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Happy Birthday to all the January babies born on this day!

Peace & Love

Monday, January 26, 2015

Which is the Lesser Evil?

Monday got off to a good start. I made a lot of progress. Then this happens. My bliss was not meant to be, but such is life. It doesn't take away from all the work I got done and connections I made.

I must say once again: thank God for good friends (you know who you are!) and thank God for technology. A friend of mine despite the waters that separate us, rescued me from a toxic situation tonight with his words of wisdom. Though I've only known him a few months, he always believes in me despite showing him my flaws and he does wonders to rejuvenate my spirit...Many blessings to you!

Someone else asked me tonight about trust. That's a very serious word. What is trust if it doesn't go both ways? Many of us struggle with this issue and never find the answer. I will keep searching until I do. 

I've trusted many and been disappointed many more times over, both in personal and professional life. I'm sure we have all been. But how does this guide our decisions going forward?

It would be great to believe that communication is the answer, but sometimes this does not work for several reasons. Even if it appears to work for a while, I'm beginning to think that people would always think and act as they please. This despite your greatest efforts to explain to them rationally otherwise. 

Deceit and jealousy I think are the two worst evils in the world. I think I can deal with anything else, but this has been the root of all evil since the beginning of time. It cascades onto other areas of the infected person's life and causes more damage. 

There are many resulting side-effects like anger, betrayal, sabotage, character assassination and reproachful behaviourial patterns. I could go on and on, but time does not permit.

The question is: would we ever be able to escape it? To be comfortable in our own skin, be grateful for our own blessings and be genuinely happy for others despite our differences? It only takes one person to poison the well and begin a chain reaction of distrust and negativity. 

If we can't be honest with ourselves, there's no room for trust with anyone else.

Peace

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Sun Is Shining, Weather Is Sweet!

Happy Sunday ALL! Hope this day meets you in fine spirits. I was feeling a bit down (missing my Dad) then woke/got up, went outside and realized that the "Sun is shining, weather is sweet" (today:) and I'm ALIVE! There's LOTS to be thankful for. 


Sad days are expected every now and then, but we should not let the feelings linger too long...I know I needed to pull myself together when a friend whatsapp'd me and made me think of how much more fun awaits in life. After hearing a couple of your 'weather reports' I was reminded of how much I wanted to travel the world in my lifetime...

So far I've only been to #England, Grenada, Northern California/San Francisco/San Jose/Santa Clara etc, New York/Jersey and Texas...There's no place like home though and I'm counting down the days when I'm back on the sister isle of sweet #Tobago grin emoticon

Where have you visited? And what are some of your burning desires which you hope to do in your #lifetime?! I would love to hear from YOU!
 — feeling positive
Reunion Tower, Dallas Texas


Tower Bridge, London

Gouyave, Grenada

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Is It Okay To Be Your Only Fan?!

Tonight I am having a glass of wine in celebration of all my hard work this past week. It was long in coming. I kept saying I must make time to celebrate but I haven't. Sometimes a "time-out" is necessary to reward ourselves for a job well done. Well, "good" is a relative concept, but once we are happy with ourselves that's the first step. Confidence is important.

That brings me to another point. Is it okay to work in a capsule where you are your only fan?! Sometimes I write something and re-read it a gazillion times because I am so pleased, then someone else may not get the same feeling about it! Has this ever happened to you and what do you do about it?

Hmmm. 

After careful thought, I think that when it comes to certain things like writing, singing, cooking...which is better enjoyed by other people, we must aim to please. I don't write for myself, nor do I buy my own books and CDs. Therefore I must ensure that I listen to the feedback and concerns of my readers and listeners. If I don't do this, then my work is in vain.

At the same time, if you listen to too many opinions, you lose your sense of identity. You get swept away by what other people think and your sense of self diminishes. You lose confidence and self-worth and eventually your drive and passion would diminish.

We don't want that! So whatever you love to do, ensure that you strike a healthy balance.

I encourage feedback! If you don't want to miss another post, please "follow" this blog via the button on your right.

Peace & Love

Friday, January 23, 2015

You May Never Be Perfect, But That's OK

Today is Friday. It was a good day. A sad day for some. An ordinary day for most. For me it was just average, but I am thankful. Most times we don't look at our days in the grand scheme of things, but I realize I ought to do this more often.
photo credit - C.K. Correia all rights reserved 2014
Pigeon Point Beach, Tobago

I am at mental place where I am still establishing my footing as an entrepreneur and I realize that I have lots to learn yet. 

I am glad for the fantastic network of friends and colleagues who are always there to lend support whenever I need it. 

As I revisited my second book with the suggested edits from my editor, I realized that my story is ever changing. This is because I am changing. I am constantly growing and my evolution is part of living. If you don't change, there's no growth.

While I feel there's still so much more to learn and adapt to, I remain aware of my actions and shortcomings. Sometimes it's so hard to adapt to things in your environment, because every time you say you will do X, Y gets in the way. It's as though the devil tries his darnest to see you falter! How many of you feel this way?

But yet I fight. I try. I fail. I get up again and try and try until I succeed. It's a continuous journey. After several baby steps, one day you may be astonished to discover that while you weren't paying attention, you've taken a giant leap in the right direction. 

One thing I bear in mind: We are all human and none of us are perfect. Perfection is an illusion. It's like trying to catch your own shadow. It will never happen...no matter how hard you try.

So go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. I remain conscious of myself and my journey. I am very aware of the things I need to work on, but I take it one step at a time. That's life. I may never get it completely right, but as long as I keep trying, in time I may get close enough to put my mind at ease. And that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things. 

Have a great weekend all! Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

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Thursday, January 22, 2015

I Did It My Way

Conditioning the mind is so important to constructive thought. Whenever I think I can't, I tell myself "I can" and focus my mind with all my might on the task ahead. Sometimes it's not easy, as there are lots of variables to deal with on a daily basis, but it is very possible.

I felt pulled in so many different directions for the past couple weeks trying to tie up loose ends and get things done. In the process I forgot that my mind also needed a break. I've been working on getting my body back up to its usual fitness levels and forgot to take time out to meditate and just be. I think my meditation class put me back into this mode.

I know there are lots of things I have to work on still, as I realize I still allow petty things to anger me. But you know what? When you realize that God is in control, you just wait on Him to do His work. There's nothing you can do, but pray and sit and wait. He will deal with things in His own time and He is always on time.

Right now, my focus is to manage my time wisely and cautiously and choose the people I allow to get close to me. Through my meditation I will ask for the gift of discernment since I am still learning that all that glitters is not gold. I was just telling my agent that today. It's like a rude awakening the lengths people go to hide who they really are.

Today I edited my friend's Dad eulogy and tomorrow I deliver. Her words made me YouTube Ol Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra). I had a good cry to get it out of my system. Although I did not know her Dad, I feel her pain. I cried for her Dad, my Dad and even Frank Sinatra as he sung "My Way"! I got lost in time to a period in history long ago. 

Tonight I also completed a project that I was working on and I am pleased and proud of the result. Now I wait to see how I feel about it, then submit and wait some more for feedback from the client.

Today I did it my way and I love how it feels.

Cheers~

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

What My First Meditation Class Taught Me

On Monday night I attended a meditation class. My first. It was cool. Except I reached a few minutes late and walked around the building a few times trying to get an entry point! The doors were all locked. I heard persons speaking in tongues and decided to knock on the door. Finally someone told me it was upstairs only to get turned away by my fear of entering a dark, empty room. Drat! It was the right venue, but see what fear and silence does?!

Yikes. So after a few more trips down the stairs then up again, I finally "found my way". Hurray! So I missed the initial "talk" and I basically sat there in silence with my own thoughts for a good 15-20 minutes. What did I do? 

I reflected on what transpired just before I got there. My neighbour blocked my driveway (yet again for the millionth time over the past few years) so I had to honk on my horn with all my might at that hour of the night. Hence me being late. Sigh. Now you see part of my reason for moving to Tobago?! lol. I felt my anger subside.

I reflected on my business/company and all the meetings and feedback I have been receiving thus far for the year. I reflected on my book and my editor's comments and all the work I have to do still. I thought about my car insurance premium that I had to pay this week! 

I thought about balancing all the things in my now packed schedule and how exciting it all is. I said a silent prayer for my Dad and released. I thought about my friend who also lost her Dad this past week. I thought about everyone who was going through a loss and how they are coping. I prayed for my Mom to come to terms with her loss.

I looked around and wondered what the other persons in the group were reflecting on....then I returned to my centre. I heard the bell chime very low three times, meanwhile following the lit candle and the red light on the CD player all the while. The most beautiful serene music came on which I thought was Latin, but later found out was really English. It reminded my of the Ave Maria I played at my Dad's funeral. I felt a peace wash over me...thru and thru.

Indeed it was interesting. I exchanged greetings with the host who invited me and apologized for my tardiness. I learnt that once you let go of your fear you can get to the church on time! lol. No just kidding, I learnt that when we overcome our fears, what seemed crippling, can actually be the key to finding our peace, letting go of those troubling thoughts and embracing the unknown to achieve what can be viewed as safety and wholeness.

I look forward to next week's session. I will be on time this time. I plan to get there a half hour before and listen to "the talk". I also plan to meditate some more about my neighbour. Some things never change. 

Divine Order

Peace & Love

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Momma Said There Would Be Days Like This

There are so many things to be grateful for, yet we are human.

I've discovered that it's okay to have an off day...to not be barrels of fun and just lay low. My turn was today. Although I was busy going to meetings and getting things done, in those quiet moments I felt an unease. I felt it as I awoke this morning and the feeling lingered even as I worked out at the gym. I think it's partly because I feel for my Mom who is still coming to terms with my father's death.

I try my best to reassure and comfort her daily, but her memories and emotions run deeper than I thought. Tonight I listened to her tell stories of when she and my Dad were young and in love and it kinda made me sad too! But I must pull myself together since I am helping a friend with the eulogy for her Dad and reading it on her behalf at his funeral this week.

I was so dry-eyed when I did it for my own father that I think I should be okay. Maybe this will be part of my healing process. Anything for a sister (in Christ). I will be okay.

Tomorrow is another day and baby steps is all it takes. 

Divine Order.

Peace & Love

Monday, January 19, 2015

I am in it for Life!

Sunday is a rest day for most people and it was for me. Although I set out to work on various projects today, sad to say I did not get much done. I cooked and tied up some loose ends.

My day started out with some old friends that came to the house to do some business. It was refreshing in so many ways to catch up and really listen to each other. I am very happy for having stayed in contact with so many joyful and genuinely wonderful people.

Speaking of which, I met the most beautiful little soul today as well. He is just 3 years old and his name is Jadon. I think I am in love with this little guy! He is my friends' son. Although I don't want any kids of my own, my heart turns to marshmallows whenever I am around them or see photos (mostly the little ones, especially babies). 

I love kids but God knows what He does. I don't think I have the fortitude for the long haul. Maybe one day I will adopt but for now, I'll just cuddle and admire from afar! 

Children are a full time job that never stops, not even at 18. So once you decide to take on this responsibility, you must be in it with your whole heart. Your actions can affect another person for the rest of their life!

For now, my baby is writing. And I am in it for life!
Stay tuned as we journey together.

Peace & Love


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

Perspective changes everything.

A new window was installed in my room yesterday and what a difference it makes. The old window was rarely opened as it was in a peculiar place. This new positioning made me value the importance of fresh air and light. It also brought a new energy to the room and how I felt being in it. It made me wonder how I survived without it for so long and how persons in solitary confinement feels. 

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2014 all rights reserved
Caroni Swamp, Trinidad
Today I also visited a friend who lives on the other end of the island. This is far for me, as I am sometimes fearful of driving long distances by myself especially at night. 

I've done it countless times, but I now realize it is a mental thing. Once you get behind the wheel, it is like second nature. It was refreshing to clear my head and reflect on the drive home all by my lonesome.

As my friend and I reminisced about old times and made toasts for our plans for 2015, I was reminded of what great people I have in my life. 

My friend (who was a stranger at the time) allowed me the opportunity for a promotion/transition 8 years ago, which catapulted my career in a new direction. It wasn't the career path I planned, but it turned out even better. 

As a result, I met great people who became friends, developed personally and professionally, overcame my fears of public speaking and so much more. Of course one of the many benefits was the ability to enjoy a lifestyle which paved the way for my future ambitions. 

These things all prepared me for the many moments and experiences that followed. It took me to the next level of my journey, although I didn't realize it at the time.

Although we don't see each other often, I know the bond is still there because when we are together we're like dynamite! They say laughter is the best medicine and if that's true we're both cured of all ills :)

Today I am grateful for everything seen and unseen, because I know there's a Higher power working in the background and aligning all things in my favour.

How many friends do you have like that and what are you grateful for today? 

Change you perspective, change your life.

Have a great weekend and Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

Friday, January 16, 2015

Joy Cometh in the Morning

I just realized that I dawdled so much that I only have half an hour to blog tonight. I will try to make it quick before the midnight hour and my blog date changes to Saturday.

Tonight my Mom, sister and I had some barbadine and soursop ice-cream to commemorate my Dad. For the non-natives, these are tropical fruits found in the Caribbean...it's sweet and fleshy and can be juiced to make punches or ice-cream by removing the seeds and adding sugar and milk. 

I so desperately wanted to get it for him before he passed, but I kept procrastinating. I kept making promises but I was just too busy hustling from one thing to the next that I had forgotten to make time to do this. Every now and then this memory gnawed away at my mind for a while...But am I sad? No. But I should be. I have dealt with it...at least for now.

How many of us beat ourselves up for something we did or didn't do only to realize that everything is as it should be. We can't change what's past but we can do things differently going forward. 

We can acknowledge the other good things that happened and be grateful. I feel good that I made up for this in so many other ways. 

For example I took him for ice-cream for his birthday last year and watched the sail boats on the ocean with him and my Mom. He especially loved my fish broth and chicken soup I made for him when he was sick. I remember his smile and look of approval. I remember it now and it brings a smile to my face. 

I was just showing my Mom some pictures we took in Christmases and Ole Year's gone by and him opening his Christmas gifts in 2013 and she began to smile. My promise is to print a few more keepsakes so we would always remember the good times.

So today Friday is vastly different from Monday. I cry no more for a new day is here and I know my joy has come. Tonight we have some ice-cream for you Dad and remember the good times.

Cheers~

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Just Not Meant To Be

I respect all bloggers who find the time to blog every day and come up with fresh, new content. I resumed my daily blogging in December and honestly some days it's a bit challenging. Whether due to time, obligation or sometimes just fatigue and laziness! But I'm happy to be here and share with you. 

I've run into some people that I haven't seen for a while and though the conversations were welcomed, they lacked the depth and closeness we once shared a time long ago. I have also reached out to others via social media and for some reason, my messages were lost into the great abyss. This brought me to do some reflection on the friendships/relationships I've had throughout my life.

I thought about the ones that lasted and the ones that didn't and sought the reasons why. I also marveled at how some friendships has changed over time and sometimes dwindled and died a natural death. Sometimes through no fault of mine. I do take responsibility and admit that a few were my doing.

I have been on the receiving end and the giving end. I broke things off in haste without an explanation because I thought I was wronged. I was hurt and felt at the time that I was doing the right thing for me and that/those person(s) deserved the 'treatment' that was meted out. I did not however think that the tables would turn one day with different people and situations. 

What I've Learnt 

Sometimes you can't question why people do the things they do when they do it. This will just drive us insane. The world is filled with so many people walking around with so many thoughts, leading vastly different lives with different experiences (and sometimes baggage). There's no telling what or who influences their thinking or behaviour. 

What's important is that we do some introspection and meditate on our actions. We will eventually see the answers emerge. Maybe not all at once but one day when we least expect, we will find our "peace". Many months or years may go by and the same situation may present itself in a different form until we get the closure we need.

Life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes those same people who I had cut off, have reached out and today we are still friends. So I guess the ones who are true blue will always find a way back.

For 2015 I am going to make a conscious effort to stop asking why or overthinking things. It's a very difficult thing for me to do, but it's the healthy thing to do. I will learn to accept and move on. For goodness sake, sometimes it's not worth it to stress over things that were not meant to be or not authentic in the first place. Don't you think? 

Peace & Love

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Six Degrees of Separation

Over the past month or so I've been meeting a lot of entrepreneurs like myself, all with various skill-sets and levels of experience. I've also met with a couple larger companies. It does wonders for my spirit to learn about the exciting things they are involved in. I've also realized that we all connected in some way...6 degrees of separation. 

It's funny how each of our individual experiences (both personal and professional) play a vital role in how the rest of our life plays out. You never know at the time how important an experience is, until you are able to look back with amazement and gratitude for having been a part of it. 

As entrepreneurs, our lives intersect either by who we know or the way our respective businesses can impact each other or someone else we know. I think referrals are key, especially for start-ups. 

Part of entrepreneurship/consulting is a nerve racking wait and see and follow up process, but the approach is important and it's all a part of the excitement. Even the opportunity to meet with other like-minds are a step in the right direction. It fuels our desires to aspire for more and help where we can. 

All of a sudden, I feel like I am part of an interconnected circle of creative, industrious minds who are passionate about their dreams and what they do to help others. Every time I meet with a potential client, I get a greater sense of the market and I am inspired by their journey. There's a free flow of information that goes both ways as we share ideas, advice, creativity, experiences and challenges. 

As a newcomer to business, I'm aware of what worked in 2014 and where I need to improve. 2015 has just begun, but I'm getting a good feeling. I don't know what it will bring, but I'm ready for the adventure.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I Found a Basket Full of Goodness


It's funny the passage of time and the things we hold on to. I did the usual cleaning over the Christmas holidays and found this basket of greeting cards that was sitting atop my wardrobe (that my Dad built) for the past few years. It was like finding a hidden treasure!

I've had it since I was a child and hadn't gone through it in ages. I'm glad I kept it because it brought back so many memories. And to think my sister wanted me to throw it out! 

What a loss that would have been since I even found cards that she had sent to me after migrating. Imagine finding cards from 1989 written in someone's handwriting with a special note for the New Year as opposed to an e-greeting or email. The joy!

As I went through the basket, I found handmade cards from old school friends, a notebook, letters, postcards and greeting cards from penpals from Germany, Holland and the Philippines. I found handwritten letters from my Mom and sisters from a time that seems so distant. 

Some made me smile, some made me nod and some even made me a bit angry to see that nothing has changed in all this time. On the other hand, some made me laugh and even a bit nostalgic and filled with emotions I can't describe. I felt love in those words from my Mom. I felt cared for and I felt compassion. I felt things that were never expressed verbally. 

I know there's much more to see and read...and I can't wait to revisit a place and time etched in history...to get lost in another world when life was different. When I was different. If only for a moment. It's almost as great as photographs....and dare I say: the internet! 

I will treasure and savour it bit by bit, as if it's a present or fine wine, or dark chocolate. But most of all, I will keep it as a reminder of an expression of love.

There is this young lady at the local Hallmark store who told me she kept cards from since she was a baby. I did not understand why she did until now. What did you save from over the years? Do you have any of your old cards?

Monday, January 12, 2015

Did Your Monday Ever Start Off Like This?

Monday is a day to set the pace for the rest of the week. My Monday got off to a good start, but only when I ventured way past my front door. I woke up feeling kind of low...missing my Dad and knowing finally that he is not coming back. For the past month, it felt like he had just gone out and is coming home soon, as I felt connected to him in spirit like never before. But now, it's beginning to finally to sink in that he is really gone. 

I've dreamt him once over Christmas and more recently for the past two nights. I knew I had unresolved feelings in my mind to deal with. The last week or so, I have been asking my friends who have been there before if something was wrong with me, since I don't really feel sad anymore. They told me no and that I have dealt with it in my own way, but this day would come. 

I woke up knowing full well that I had to pull myself out of this "funk" because I had a big meeting with someone who I'm hoping would be my agent. I was so looking forward to this all week and then the big day was here and I felt like sleeping in...for a month!

I went into my mother's room and lay on her bed. The memories of that dreaded night came rushing back...blow by blow. I thought: What if I did that CPR course the company sent me on (twice) in 2005? Could this have helped? Sighh...

I managed to get ready and put on my best face, but as I drove to my meeting I felt the tears about to take over. I kept saying to myself: "Carolyn: you're going to ruin your make-up and be a big ole mess by the time you get to your destination.

It did not work.

I remembered the time when I visited my parents last year before heading back to my new home in Tobago. Through my mind's eye, I remember sitting on the couch with my Dad and him begging to come back to Tobago with me. It broke my heart to tell him he couldn't come by himself. He protested and did not understand why. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that he had Alzheimer's. 

I felt as though I missed out on those memories of 'what could have been.' He loved it so much the first time he visited that every time I came home for a weekend, he asked about my job and wanting to come visit me. But I know I more than made up for that with the other memories when I decided to move back home to Trinidad. Those are priceless.

As I drove this morning, I prayed and prayed and fought and fought and I managed to regain my composure. I prayed for the person I was meeting to see me through the eyes of Christ and vice versa. I prayed for the Lord to guide my words and speech. I prayed like I never prayed before. And it worked. I dried my tear-stained cheek and proceeded to the lobby. 

My meeting went well and above all I am glad for the opportunity to connect with another like-minded soul. Now I wait and pray some more and hope for the best. "Nothing before it's time and everything happens for a reason" is what I rely on. Faith is my driving force.

Today I got a lot done. After my meeting, I met my friend Nadia for an impromptu lunch at Panini Cafe. I ordered my favourite crab wrap and before I knew it, I told her about my feelings, since she knew my Dad the longest out of all of my friends. I got a lot of other errands done and all in record time. Things that I've been postponing for a while. It felt good. My Monday ended up being good after all. With other meetings and things-to-do all lined up, I think my week is off to a good start.

Giving thanks and Making it Count.

Peace & Love

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Bleed on that Page!

I just had a 2.5 hour Skype meeting with my book editor!! I could not have made a better choice in choosing her. It was #destiny. She loves books and is sooo passionate about what she does. She told me: 

"Bleed on that page Carolyn!! Show, don't tell....people are going through so many tough times. They need to be able to identify and connect with you. You need to describe the experiences you had and how you gained this wisdom in order to connect the dots for your readers." 

With that being said: I've got lots more work to do! I need to share more emotions and feelings and all that mushy stuff I steered clear from all these years. I guess my friend Roxanne was right! Any writers out there? How do you connect more deeply with your audience?

The book started out as another inspirational/motivational book, but somewhere along the line it morphed into a memoir. You're probably saying to yourself: what does someone so young (and not famous) have to say in a memoir. I thought this too, even though everyone was asking me for months if I'm writing a memoir (including the owner of a bookshop). 

I did my research and ANYONE can write a memoir. This is an account of a particular event in your life from which readers can learn a lesson. A person can write several memoirs during their lifetime, but only ONE autobiography. Last December, I decided that it would take this format. This caused problems for the earlier part of the book which now reads like a motivational book. So now I need to revisit the first draft and make the changes based on the suggested edits from my editor.

Now you know! Stay tuned to this space for what the book is about. 

Peace & Love 
Happy Sunday! :)

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Gratitude Opens Doors Aplenty!

Hope you had a great week and Made it Count! I missed my Friday blog, but a small price compared to what else I got done. 

Got my workout on at the gym from my personal trainer and friend, did errands and had a live Skype session with my friend and marketing guru/consultant re: my Strategic Plan. All. On. The. House. What more can a girl ask for? Last night my friend told me: "See how blessed you are Lyn!" Yes, he is right. I need to count my blessings daily. 

I even ran into an acquaintance and fellow author/consultant (from Jamaica) at the supermarket last night. As we exchanged book/publishing advice and tips, I thought how fortuitous, since this is not my regular supermarket or hour for shopping! 

This is just the tip of the iceberg, my other friends also extend accounting and business advice to me on a regular basis for many years. Without complaint or reproach. I also return the favour whenever I can. That's what life is all about right? Serving one another...Invaluable, lifelong gifts.

Although my week was fraught with some nuances, all's well that ends well....at least for now. Met some great people, started back gym, had three client meetings, got my very own dot.com and pointed it towards my website! Nigel R. you're my hero!! A million THANK YOU's...Lunch is on me! Something else for which to be grateful....You can check it out here: www.carolyncorreia.com

Have a great weekend everyone!

Peace & Love

Thursday, January 8, 2015

So Much Things To Say Right Now

Like Bob (Marley) said: "So much things to say..." such little time as I am trying to post this blog before midnight.

I am taking my girlfriend's advice and being brave to be more open in my writing. This subject matter is far reaching, but one that is seldom spoken about aloud. So I am #ThinkingOutLoud again.

Another friend of mine told me several times that I'm getting too old to sever relationships with people at the drop of a hat. (Well at least that's what I think she said if I am to paraphrase!). But I ask you the reader this question: Would you continue a 'relationship' and I use the term loosely to mean a friendship, romantic involvement, acquaintance-ship or association....if it no longer serves a purpose in your life? 

I read somewhere recently that a relationship is supposed to enrich lives and add meaning both ways. If either party does not have your best interests at heart or are feigning support, then how are you to move forward with this liaison? Sometimes you never know this is the case, until something happens and screams to you in bold, red CAPS: "THIS IS WRONG FOR YOU!" Even then, you may not listen to the signs, until things go awry and you have no choice but to walk away.

So to answer my own question, life is such that nothing lasts forever. People are people and a lot of the time you can't predict or influence their thinking/behaviour no matter how much good has transpired in the past. It is human nature for us to sometimes gravitate towards the negative, or for some, conjure it up. While you have your faults too, sometimes we need to ask ourselves if a particular action is warranted given the circumstances.

My older brother told me something as a young adult that people seldom say out loud: "Carolyn, this is a deceitful world...just grin and go with the flow." It took me a long time to come to terms with that statement. I've been so accustomed to things going my way, that adulthood has been somewhat of a rude awakening.

My personality is not one of grinning and moving along, but instead being honest and letting you know how I feel from the get-go. Sometimes I think I am too honest. While in some cases I have learnt to "play this game" in the corporate world, with all other things I prefer to cut my losses and move along without the deceit. Thank God someone invented the delete button.

Would you end a friendship/acquaintance-ship if it was no good for you? Do share!