Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Look Back on 2014

It's so remiss of me to not do my usual Ole Year's ritual earlier this year...but after a hectic day and month here I am! Here's my lessons for 2014...

Photo credit - Arnos Vale, Tobago
Carolyn Correia All rights reserved 2013
After a wonderful year of soul searching and honing my talents in the tranquil sister isle of Tobago in 2013, I returned to Trinidad in January 2014 to "Chart my Destiny." ...

Whether I succeeded or not, is not for me to judge, but everyone I meet seems to think so! And this is not by what I have told them, but what they have seen. While I welcome the recommendations and kudos of my peers, I also tell them that "all that glitters is not gold." 

Even though I've accomplished a lot during the short space of time, everyone has different standards by which to measure success. I feel like I have done a lot, but there's always more. A new friend just told me on facebook, that many opportunities are coming my way in 2015. I embrace this wish with my whole heart, mind and soul.

While some may measure success in dollars and cents, I feel pride in knowing that I have fulfilled my reason for returning to Trinidad, which was to be with my Dad during his battle with Alzheimer's disease. Those fond memories I shared with him are golden and irreplaceable and I will cherish it all the days of my life, when things get tough (and I am told by my older sisters that they will!) 

Now that my father went to be with the Lord, I feel contented to know that I did everything I could have done to make his last year enjoyable and easier. I look back on the last few years and though there are things that I could have done differently, I feel totally at peace to know that I was here for him when he needed it the most. He knew we loved him dearly and I told him this every day. To hear him return the sentiments in his response each and every time was like music to my ears.

All my other accomplishments for the year pale in comparison to this feeling. I have no regrets, no what if's, no I should have's. I am not even overwhelmed with sadness at this time, because I know this is what he wanted and he is in a better place watching over me. I have hope that I will see him once again when my time has come. I am glad that it was not several months ago and I was given a second chance to make it right.

When people misjudge you and accuse you wrongfully, I know it's okay because what is in the dark must come into the light....the longest rope has an end and the whole nine yards. When I think of all the lessons, good times and what both my heavenly and earthly father endured for me, I just have to smile and wait on the Lord to do His work in my life.

I am not going to list again all the things I am grateful for, but I do thank God for my family and friends who have supported me every step of the way both emotionally, physically and just by being in my corner. I am thankful for my blessings and talents. This has allowed me to complete my second book this December which has been dedicated to my Dad since 2009 who has been the driving force behind me writing books. I am also thankful for the detractors and naysayers, for it is because of them that I have come this far and I am so pleased with the result. 

While I know I have much more to learn, I have grown by leaps and bounds and I feel happy in this knowledge because I understand that I am a work in progress.

So on this day: Wednesday 31st December, 2014 I say goodbye to what is old and say hello to a new beginning...welcoming #positive #change in #2015. New synergies, new hope, new goals realized.....weeding out the untruths, uncovering the pain behind the words, letting go of fear and hurt, clearing out the clutter and releasing that which no longer serves a purpose in my life. 

Thank You was wonderful...but I gotta let you go...Forward ever, backward never....Let the good times roll....2015 here we come! 

Peace, love and abundance to you alwayz...xoxoxoxoxo

Feel free to drop me a line and tell me what you've learnt in 2014 and what you look forward to the most in 2015.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Freely, Freely You Have Received, Freely Freely Give

For once I'm at a loss for words...What should I blog about today? This daily blog is harder than I thought (and I did miss yesterday!). Write about my life? Who wants to hear about that all the time? Inspiration? That's overdone...Ahh write about your life while inspiring others to action or transformative thought...There's an idea!

photo credit - Stonehaven Beach, Tobago
Carolyn Correia all rights reserved.

For many persons reading on, this life is .... *fill in the blanks* with the first words that come to mind...
  • Unpredictable
  • Amazing
  • Unfair?
  • "What You Make It"
  • "A Dream"
  • Short
  • "Promised to no one"
Life is a short, amazing, unpredictable, sometimes unfair dream. It is what you make it and it is promised to no one. 

It's up to us to make each moment count and live every day as if it our last so that there would be no regrets when all is said and done. Each person's life is different. We experience pockets of enjoyment, sorrow, heartbreak, success, disappointments and grief....some more than others. What is important is that we never ask why, but instead take it all in stride as God never gives us more than we can bear. He gives us our share of all these things in order to shape and mould us into the unique person we were meant to become. 

I am no different from you, nor you from me or the next person. It's what we learn from these experiences that matter most and how we can transform our present state into something meaningful to assist ourselves and those around us. "...Freely you have received, freely give." Matthew 10:8

As this year winds down, I will be doing my Ole Year's (New Year's Eve) ritual on my porch and penning my thoughts about the year. What have you learnt in 2014 and what are you going to do different? Who would have thought that the end of your year would find you here! It certainly did not start out this way....Feel free to connect and share on this space...

Peace & Love

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Do You Have False Expectations of Others?

Oh noooo! I missed my Boxing Day post...ahhh well. Here I am....This is my post Boxing Day post...For those just tuning in...This is my 5th post for the week (see earlier posts here: Hope your Christmas was grand and you are still enjoying the season with family and friends as we get into gear for the New Year 2015. I'm currently listening to Nat King Cole, Jim Reeves, Frank Sinatra (old blue eyes), Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis and Dean Martin...a CD I made for my Mom a weekend I visited my parents last year...oh the memories.

A Tobago Christmas - Scarborough Botanical Gardens
Photo credit - Carolyn Correia. All rights reserved 2013

I posted to my personal facebook page a while ago that I'm thinking it's time to move on, now that my reason for staying here is gone. I no longer feel tied to these shores and I miss my Tobago free-spirited life so much. I know you can never really go back and return to how things once were, but who knows. It's just a thought ...first I have to think about survival because coconuts just won't do (:

Tonight I visited a friend's house...I got more than I bargained for: book, business and life advice, inspiration and well...good food, cake and ponche de creme...who could top that right? And to think I almost stayed home. I always say: take two steps outside your front door and change your perspective. 

My friend's significant other told me I should return to Tobago. This after I told them about my new book and what it was about. Part of the inspiration came from the sister isle. But most of all, my Dad inspired me to start writing books all those years ago and that's one of the places we shared a love for. I will never forget those priceless memories. We were chatting about life and death and my friend Rabindra told me that my Dad's last words to me imparted everything I needed to live my life successfully.

I'll also share unabashed that I was told tonight that I'm weird....because I expect everyone to be like me and hold my values and expectations. He said to me that I have high expectations of people. He said other people would offer what they can (in terms of their friendship, time etc) in their own timing... *scratches head* I'm so not used to this. I wondered to myself if this is an authentic connection...What do you think?

As I drove home, I saw another friend's lime in full swing...(hence the reason for this comment...To use my friend Curlyn's Antiguan expression: Meh warn you! (meaning could you believe?) Needless to say I missed the speed bump in the process and nearly damaged my tyre! lol). Still, despite my 'weirdness' I couldn't help but wonder if my invitation got lost in the mail somehow...not even a Merry Christmas! This is weird I thought, since this person has been in constant contact with me...and not the other way around...But I digress...

I've come to the conclusion that people have different levels of involvement and authenticity. What I thought was an actual friendship, may just be a casual acquaintance to him and other friendships that have died a natural death over time. In the past, I would have just distanced myself from such people...nurse my hurt for a while and take my time to move on. Now, I still find their behaviour sooo difficult to accept...but times a-changing. I am changing....Need to learn to accept and deal with it accordingly. That's one of my 2015 wishes...What a change! I think that's weird!!! :P ....It's Christmas ... I'm just having a silly moment :) But there's some truth to it!

Thank God for all my wonderful friends and good times ... don't know where I'd be without you (you know who you are) ... thanks for loving me in spite of my foibles ...people say that if you meet two good friends in a lifetime that's plenty but it's been 10 - 20 years and counting in some cases and you're still at my side all help me become a better person and vice versa ...the new ones feel as though I've known you a lifetime... I feel so blessed and fortunate .... Much love ....God bless the day I found you! ... Decisions ...decisions for 2015...

Thursday, December 25, 2014

The Reason for the Season

The day we've waited all year for is here. As quickly as it came, it is almost gone in some parts of the world. Let's not forget the reason for the season which is the birth of a Saviour. Be blessed and put Christ first. Whether you appreciate the season from a traditional, religious or cultural perspective...let's give a gift of love this Christmas and cherish the ones we love, for we never know when it can be our last to spend with them...Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Best wishes to you and your loved ones this day and always.

Peace & Love CC

photo credit - Scarborough Botanical Gardens, Tobago

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Have A Very Merry Christmas!

Yesterday I finally mastered the art of Mail Chimp...What an accomplishment putting together my self-imposed mailing list! It took a few hours but I did it...after shelving the project in May. 

So now, I will be disseminating mini newsletters with my blogs and updates....Can't wait...The only thing left to do is master the art of personalizing it to include names...(which I thought I did...If you can help, please give me a shout via the contact form to your right or a comment. 

Folks the day we've been waiting for is mere hours away...let's not forget the reason for the season which is the birth of a Saviour. Here's my first 'campaign' via Mail Chimp...what d'you think?

Peace & Love...until tomorrow...

Wishing you and yours peace, love and joy during this Yuletide season.

May the spirit of Christmas warm your hearts and stay with you throughout the New Year and beyond.

Extending thanks for sharing in all the magical moments of 2014.
Bringing good tidings from our home to yours...
May all of your nearest and dearest dreams come true.

Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for an Abundant New Year 2015

Peace & Love,

Photo credit - Scarborough Botanical Gardens, Tobago.
Carolyn Correia All rights reserved © 2013.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

I'm Gonna Love You Anyway!

Blogger how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
photo credit - Scarborough Botanical Gardens, Tobago
Carolyn Correia 2013 All rights reserved.

Blogger, wordpress and tumblr all do something great, but it's been 7 years and counting and no matter what anyone says...#Blogger .... Imma love you anyway! 

As they say: if it ain't broken, why fix it right? That's how I feel about you with google analytics at your finger tips, great user interface and all the features you need...why go elsewhere? 

To hell with SEO key words...I know I need to learn, but I love what I do...the most important thing to me is getting what I have to say off my chest. The "hits" will come with time.

One more day for Christmas ...the eve of Christmas Eve and I'm blogging about blogging....

Today my sister and I went out to do errands...mostly my errands and a bit of Christmas shopping. I took a drive by the Botanical Gardens last week and saw the beautiful lights just like Tobago. Thought she needed to see that. I guess I will take my mom and other sister soon. 

As that time nears, we're just doing ordinary things: painting, cooking, making sorrel and ginger beer and trying to keep my Dad's memory alive.  Still have to make ponche de creme and bake the traditional turkey and ham that we picked up tonight. We will not be putting up a tree or any lights this year however. I have to tell you though, it's getting harder. I don't even want to think about the future when the house gets emptier and I have to carry on with my normal life.

For now, I'm savouring the memories and making the most of the moments. Trying to keep busy and "do my do." I still love Christmas and I think it's gonna be okay. Life is made to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest. I know he wouldn't want it any other way. I always told him I wanted to go before him, but he wanted me to live and be happy. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." I continue to pray for his eternal life and light.

I've completed my book, so now I have something to look forward to. On to the next! Already thinking of continuing my poetry and publishing an e-book in 2015. I wrote 10 poems in June. The rest will be dedicated to my father's memory.

What is the legacy you leave behind? I hope to leave behind my the hope it can help generations after me. 

Happy Holidays....See you tomorrow. I'm getting the hang of this blogging every day thing...this is the shortest blog yet ...completed in 15 minutes or less!

Peace & Love.

To Blog or Not to Blog

Why I'm awake at 2 am is anyone's guess. Actually I'm reviewing my second book before I send it off to my editor over the next few days...but yet I should be asleep. A few nights ago I went to bed at 6 am. Then I realized that some of my friends who are also entrepreneurs or just creative kindred spirits are also up at this time.

The reason for my blog: I think I need to take my techy friends' advice and that of fellow authors and bloggers to resume blogging every day. It can't hurt right? Especially since I'm getting ready to launch a new social media campaign as the countdown to the publication of my new book is on. 

For the subscribers who got here by accident (meaning my friends/acquaintances who I subscribed to this list) I will not bombard your inboxes every day unless you really want me to...which you can indicate by way of a response to this blog. 

If you're game and you want to hear from me every day, just reply by saying: "I'm in" or better yet, log in to and "follow" or subscribe to my automatic posts. 

If I don't hear from you, I would assume that either: a) You get too much mail as it is and can't keep up, or b) You don't read my blogs anyway! lol...No offence taken. Some of you may already notice that not all of my blogs come to your email.

So I digress. As I continue along my path of healing, I realize that the mind is really something. It's like a garden hose...if you prevent some of the water from spurting, then you control how much you want to get wet. So too with your mind. If you purposely try to block out and filter some of your thoughts, the less you would be affected. 

But be on your guard, this has a way of backfiring as just at the water pressure may build up and unexpectedly let too can your thoughts and emotions take over when you least expect when doing normal things like driving, watching television or grocery shopping.

For the past two nights I've returned to my room to sleep since that first night of my Dad's passing. I've realized that I am very conscious of his memory when I am alone to myself. With family over, it was easy to avoid the full onslaught of this. I even dreamt the first night that he was trying to tell me something and gave me a great big hug. I wasn't afraid. Although I could not remember what he was saying, I woke up at peace.

Have you lost a loved one? If so, how do you deal with these emotions?

So I've decided I will blog. Are you in?

Peace & Love

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Would You Want A Second Chance?

It's one week away from Christmas and my mind is no where near the joyous celebration. Rather I am trying to tie up loose ends and keep my mind occupied. After my last blog, some readers were still confused, so to make things a little's been weeks counting since the passing of my dear papa. 

Though I still haven't told many persons verbally, I hope you understand that I just don't have the words and fortitude to rehash and explain, as the memories of the last moments are already swirling thru and thru my head enough as it is. 

He did in fact have the most beautifully awesome service and 'send off' in style. Nothing but the best for my dear papa. And a few days later, we took a boat out and sprinkled his ashes in the ocean. It was only apt that his final resting place was where he lived and worked most of his life. 

The homily complemented my eulogy and what struck me the most is a few things the deacon said. He did not know my dad, but after listening to the eulogy he realized how way off he was in his prepared homily. He then spoke off the top of his head and captured the essence of the man known as my father as if he had known and grown up with him his whole life. 

He began his sermon by wondering aloud what he can do in the remaining years of his life to even measure up to my father. He said listening to all of the things he did, makes him want to go back and make up for some. He admitted that Daddy was after all human and not perfect, but listening to the vivid description of his deeds and what he sacrificed for his family was tantamount to the reflection of God Himself. 

As family members leave our childhood home one by one, I no longer feel the distraction of thoughts I once did and the memories are coming flooding back bit by bit. I no longer weep to myself, but I feel his presence with least in my mind all the time. I often quote him in my everyday speech and constantly give reference to something he would have said or done throughout his life.

Although I knew this day would come, I feel as though he has just gone away and is coming back soon. It did not yet 'hit home' as it does not feel as though he is gone....I expect him to walk through the door at any moment. I feel connected in mind and spirit. I remember him toasting with us at home on Ole Year's, taking pictures and dancing to parang on television just last year..........Such is life. 

He lived a good life and had fully lived. No regrets. No second chances necessary. My recollection of that, along with my golden memories keeps the tears at least for now.

I must say thanks to all those who called and sent emails and texts, checking on me every day in some instances. I must reproduce this one in particular: 

"You've only lost the ability to see them physically. True love is really never some songs say and you will always feel that person near you. You did make the best decision (to move back home).... Family and life is more important than anything because they cannot be bought under any circumstances."

Thanks Kai. Bless your heart.

Peace & Love.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I Will Always Remember You

It's been a sad few weeks...So much has happened that it now feels like a dream. Surreal. But it happened. And the memories, good and bad...will live on in time forever as long as memory serves. 

My head is not in the right place to expound on the nature of my grief at the moment. However I would say this much: Life is short and unpredictable. We are all just ephemeral souls drifting through this life. Make the most of the one you have, so that there would be no regrets when all is said and done. 

Live life in such a way that you can confidently say when you have crossed over to eternal life and light, that you have fully lived, learnt, shared and loved. Material things are fleeting. To touch hearts, minds and souls is eternal. This will live on forever.

Tobago - January 2013
I've said this over the years in my writings without fully living and experiencing the range of emotions to bring my statements to life. 

The words which I wrote and spoke were not mine. It was inspired by God and influenced by my life's experiences and upbringing. Now more than ever I am thankful for my parents and what they have taught me and done for my siblings and I. 

Life is such that everybody is unique to internalize and rationalize things in a different way. Not everyone has the mental clarity, neutrality and ability/gift to do so. I am thankful that I can separate the truth from the untruth and extract the positive from almost every negative situation. I am also glad that my purpose is inextricably linked to this rationalization and gift.

You have made my life richer and happier in infinite ways. I hope you knew that at the end. I am grateful and happy beyond words that I made the right decisions and choices this year 2014 in particular to make your life more pleasant and make the most of our time together. I feel super blessed for the time that we shared. 

You said you will be proud of me regardless, but I feel it is my duty to continue to carry on your legacy. You have taught me so much in more ways than one. I will always remember you. The time we shared were indelible memories sealed with love that can never be forgotten.

May your soul RIP and may you sing and dance with your angels in the glorious kingdom (you know what I mean). Be my personal Guardian Angel and watch over me....till we meet again to spend an eternity of peace, love and happiness. I will LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Monday, December 1, 2014

A Glass of Wine Makes It All Better!

Happy 1st December, 2014 all!

Wishing you abundance and all dreams realized. It's not too late to Make it Count!

I found it useful to create a visual for how you would like your life to turn out. It's not always easy to block out the negative and keep focussed, but if we condition our minds and try to stay positive, the sky is the limit to our aspirations. 

I may not always exude a spirit of perfection....after all...I am human! Nor do I try to be perfect, but I do try to emulate and do introspection and meditation daily. I find that in those quiet moments, the pieces to life's puzzles come together and suddenly all is well with the world again:) I am graciously granted all the blessings I need to be comfortable and attract all the right people and situations. For this I am grateful.

Last week I had to deal with my family member being discharged from the hospital. It was not easy. All the strength that I previously exuded went out the window. Although I did not show it on the outside, I was crumbling on the inside. 

It was hard to see him in this vulnerable way. Previously made plans were shattered in a nanosecond and we were left with the full responsibility for care-giving. 

I did things that I was never trained to do. I overcame my sheer tendencies for squeamishness and daily luxuries I enjoyed like going out, exercise, work, sleeping in and food. 

Suddenly these things mattered little to me in the whole scheme of things. I found the inner strength to remain committed to the task at hand and persevered. I provided comfort and reassurance when me myself needed to be comforted and reassured. I surprised myself and surpassed my own expectations. 

Last night I said goodbye to an awful week and ushered in the month of December on a high note. I went to a meeting this morning and it was as business as usual. I received the magazine in print that I have been working on since June. The fruits of my labour were encouraging and gratifying to say the least. I feel accomplished and proud of my hard work and sleepless nights.

I did my errands, visited former co-workers who seemed so happy and proud of my efforts for the past year. Upon my return home, I executed my daily routine as caregiver. Afterwards I had a glass of wine to celebrate my progress for 2014 and success of the magazine. I feel content.

This month I will complete my second book and you will learn about it here, so stay tuned to this space.

Blessed be the month of December. May it bear abundant fruit, life, joy, peace and love.

Love and blessings always.