|I will sure miss this view....sniff sniff :(|
Monday, January 27, 2014
As I awake to a brand new day in sweet Bago land, I am filled with all sorts of emotions. My being here signals the end of an era and saying goodbye to many memories...
First time living on my own (college doesn't count) and away from home for so long, turning my own key and having to do everything for myself…First real taste of independence, discovering that I had all this courage, strength, self-sufficient capability within me and tons more.
(Yes I sound spoilt I know! –For those of you that know me, you know why:) But trust me coming back here this time around, after having been back to Trinidad for the longest in over a year…I’ve come to appreciate just how brave and strong I really was!
When I meet people my age that I haven't seen in a while, they often seem shocked when they learn that I moved here on my own!
Tobago has been real wonderful as I made a lot of new connections and got to see and experience the island and by extension the world thru a different lens. As with everything in life, of course it was fraught with its own challenges, but those were short-lived and pale in comparison to the overall experience.
I never got lonely, never ran out of things to do and never wanted for anything. I am humbled and grateful. I give GOD all the glory! 2013 has been a good year… I can’t say I had any major complaints. And you know what’s even better? 2014 is shaping up quite nicely as well...Still officially on vacay but working hard as usual.
This morning I was filled with so much nostalgia and a tinge of sadness to be leaving this life behind. Ironically, I also felt sad to leave home yesterday even though it was just for a week, since I have a lot of family related things going on there.
As the boat docked as the sun was just setting over the bay and I drove to my apartment from the port, I felt in my soul that I have really embraced the decision to move back to Trinidad. A lot of my friends thought it would have been hard to return home, but I must say that I am really surprised and thankful for my versatility.
Change is something I was never really good at, but within recent years I have come full circle to adapt to my environment and accept the new opportunities that present itself in my life. People are a different story. I am still having difficulty adapting and accepting the behavior of those that I thought to be close to me.
After having gotten used to living in a house with people since Christmas, it’s sort of strange as I look around my empty apartment filled with only possessions and memories of a happy time. As I use the next few days to clean up and pack up the rest of my stuff, I will do some soul searching as I take steps to embrace my new life and all the people I left behind a year ago…although some of them never really left my side.
I will leave behind all the baggage and foibles that I need to work on so as to be the best me I can possibly be moving forward. Best of all I am ready to embrace the many new projects I have planned for 2014 and look forward to what adventures the year has to offer with keen interest. It’s a lot of hard work ahead and I’m excited and anxious to see it through.
I will reveal the details in time but I will say this much as I have said over the past 13 months: I always thought that I had more to give and my journey was never defined by an 8-4 routine. Now is the perfect time (as I have nothing or no one stopping me)....to embrace those possibilities and step even further outside of my comfort zone, where I can truly live free and unfettered and give something back as I contribute to life and the world around me in a more meaningful and profound way.
My plan for the week is to work on my second book and other material in this quiet, scenic and relaxing ambiance and live it up one last time! As I sit here watching the lovely sunset again on my once back porch, I am waiting on a friend to join me...Happy hour starts in few hours…lol #SunSeaAndSand here I come!
As for the things I have no control over, as the French say: C’est la vie!
Until next time…