Saturday, November 23, 2013
So I’m back to the blogging world after a week hiatus. Miss me much? :-) Needed time to unwind and process all the stuff happening lately. I wasn’t quite sure I was in the right space to filter my thoughts unto the world. But writing is in my blood…so I couldn’t stay away for too long.
Among the thoughts that have been flooding my mind, is the recurring theme of trust. I’ve always struggled with this concept so I guess there are some things I need to work through. I am using this platform to provide the catharsis needed. I’m not sure if other people feel the same way I do, but if you’re out there, please do post a comment at the end of this blog post.
Having said that, admittedly it takes me a while before I can wholeheartedly allow people I have just met into my life. And I don’t just mean a superficial encounter, but really allow them in to see the real me and what my journey is about (past and present).
At times I think I am a bit selfish…apart from my inner circle of close friends whom I’ve known for many years, I am very guarded with the ones I allow to get too close regardless of gender. I’m quite grateful for my closest friends who have gained my trust over time (and vice versa), for they know me inside out, put up with all my foibles and accept me for who I am in spite of this. They still don’t know everything about me and I guess this is only good sense. It’s a vibe I get…I feel inclined to share personal things with people I’ve only just befriended, yet there are others that I have known for years who are unaware. Weird but true. Sometimes the vibe is right, very few times it’s wrong and when this happens I often question if my ‘people meter’ is off kilter and why.
On a few occasions I even think that there’s no room for anyone else. Although I have become quite gregarious to a certain extent within the past few years, I still have this nagging issue of trust: “can I trust this person, will they betray me, do they have an ulterior motive, why the sudden interest in me.” I’ve learnt over time that sometimes people can come in all sorts of different disguises just to get close to you and at the end of the day, they really don’t care about you, your feelings or what you are about.
In trini parlance, I think most times they just want to "mind yuh business a lil bit." Or perhaps they stand to gain something by your association. Why they stick around in the first place, is a concept unbeknownst to me at any given point in time. Even if I rack my brain to figure out why, all I can think of is that everybody has their own demons to deal with, I don’t know why the sky is blue either, but this doesn’t prevent me from appreciating the intrinsic beauty and splendor it brings on a sunny day.
People come and people go. Some aren’t meant to stay. If you let them get close enough, some may hurt you, some will love you and some may last a lifetime. You determine if you will allow them to bring you a lifetime of sorrow or happiness. We've heard this before...Tragic but true, but those are the harsh realities of life.
There are so many different facets of life: work, play, business, pleasure. And many different facets of relationships: family, friend, colleague, business partner, acquaintance, mate…lover. What we find at times is that there’s a thin line that divides one from the other and at times the lines get blurred. How do you separate the two? No matter how hard we try, it’s difficult to keep everyone and everything in separate compartments when life is so fluid and dynamic.
Some of us may not want to put a label and category on things and people in our life as a defense mechanism, in an effort to shield ourselves from going down a path that may possibly lead to something that we are all too familiar with. A path that perhaps we are not ready to face (again) or a direction we are afraid that we may fail at. We may be afraid of getting hurt, disappointing or hurting those we are close to, or afraid of opening ourselves up to feeling emotion. Then again there are times when we just want the easy way out as we prefer to remain emotionally detached from anything or anyone until something happens or someone comes along to break down our walls.
I’m no psychologist, psychic or faith healer but I do ponder a lot in my few quiet moments when I am alone with my thoughts. I have my moments when I share a lot too and people share with me and I am very grateful for my friends and confidants. I’m not sure if I made sense to some people but I am guided to write on inspiration and cleansing. This is my two cents for this hour. Please feel free to share, retweet or “like” if you can relate.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
I must admit, this is the most internet activity my social media sites have seen in a while...
|photo credit - secretsoflife.com|
For the past week, to pass the time I did something I haven't done in a long time due to location...I spent loads of time on the internet! (mostly in the wee morning hours like now, not to detract from my daytime family time). I've only had pockets of internet activity over the past 10 months...which is no good for a writer and communications professional...
So I caught up on my reading (mostly other people's blogs, Inc, Huffington post and others); research; social media marketing (thanks for all my new connections, new and returning readers and followers especially on twitter!); blogging and I ordered some new books to restock the local bookstores which was delivered today! #justintime #sohappy. I was able to catch up with some friends in between and spend quality time with my parents. I indeed needed this time...to seal the deal I had the best spa day which I didn't even want to go to, but I'm glad I did, because it's where I met another kindred spirit who told me I made her day! #healingtouch
What struck me throughout, was how so much time can pass and so much can change and yet the fundamental truths remain. Although space and time may separate people, the ones that are in for the long haul will always remain...no matter what has transpired in the past....good, bad, ugly, indifferent...once someone is genuinely for you - family, friend or otherwise...that bond of unconditional love will seldom dissolve, unless someone does something really catastrophically wrong to weaken that trust.
I've realized that age and illness is a phenomenon that we must come to terms with...it will not change. You have to learn to accept and compromise when faced with the reality. It's not always easy, it sometimes takes you by surprise, but it takes a lot of patience and unconditional love....whether it is for yourself or another. We must find the strength, faith, fortitude and grace to handle the harsh realities it may bring with it.
I've realized that the feeling you feel in your gut about a decision, person or thing is usually spot on...not all times though...it could be paranoia (or it could just be indigestion/gas!) But most times that nagging feeling you feel at the back of your head or in your soul is usually right. I told one of my friends tonight that although I have known her for just over a year, I've always gotten a good feeling about the connection, never once did I doubt her genuineness. Usually with people I have recently met, I get warning signals when it feels wrong or forced but I have never picked up on anything amiss...so I think this one is a keeper.
I've had the same feeling for a few new connections this past year which is always a good thing, but sometimes little qualities/behaviours they may possess make you question if your good intentions are being reciprocated in the same vein. The human condition is a wavering see-saw of highs and lows...the fragility of such is often determined too much by external forces or sometimes an inward retreat by one or more parties. Lack of trust and open communication is often to blame for the many directions for which things may sometimes spiral off.
What I want to say is a bit cliche`...and it's my Food for Thought for this hour...
- Listen and look out for the signs and go with your gut. Value your connections and take it for what it is. What is for you is for you...this is a universal, timeless truth. Nothing is running away...each and everyone of us gets what is ours in the end. When persons do the unexpected (or sometimes expected), find a way to bridge the gap, uncover the truth and come to an understanding. Also learn when to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
- Patience and grace are fundamental to understanding and coping with things that would not change. How you handle it should be left in God's hands. Your faith will carry you through to the next level.
- Sometimes circumstances permit a little escape. The world has a way of working out all of the finer details in your favour. It's good to get away...away from the "insanity" and retreat and spend some quality "YOU" time. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do every now and then when you feel you are losing your centre.
- Sometimes you have to fight the urge to vegetate...it's good to get out and do something for you and talk to other people. You may be surprised and pleased with what you may find: comfort, camaraderie and a sense of belonging.
With this said, my week of warm, love-filled, oh-so-yummy-in-the-tummy home cooked meals, hugs and kisses, thoughtfulness, oneness, togetherness, girl-talk, meditation, blissful, uninterrupted internet access is slowly coming to an end. Time to get focused! Someone once told me I have everything I need to make this (dream of mine) happen...So I need to step up my game and tie up loose ends, buckle down and get serious about my future aspirations...connect, sacrifice, network and evolve one step at a time! I have faith and I can feel it in my gut this time...one of God's "willing vessels" told me recently: "trust Him with your everything...He has great plans in store for you!"
Yep He does...for me and each and everyone of You!
You Must Believe to Achieve!
Thanks to everyone past and present, known and unknown that has ever had faith in me and contributed to my personal and/or professional development...you mean more than you know...
Peace & Love xo
Haven't gotten your copy of my book Thinking out Loud as yet? It's available locally at all locations of RIK, Metropolitan Booksellers, Paper Based Bookstore (Normandie Hotel) and online on amazon and lulu.com>>http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Out-Loud-Carolyn-Correia/dp/1105184382
Keep up with me on my author's page>>https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Having a blog (especially on google where it's oh so easy!) you become addicted to checking your stats...well at least I am. It's like a drug..."gotta, need to, have to see who's viewing my blog" whenever I log on to check my mail. Ok so I can't see exactly "people" who are viewing it, but one can see the number of hits, which countries, which posts are popular and receive the most hits over time. In the beginning I used to go to sleep dreaming about who's reading my blog! lol :-D...Long story short...I just love me some google analytics! It's amazing. Thank God for technology. This is not a self-absorbed post but you will soon see where I am going with this...
|photo credit - fowardmultimedia.com|
It must be obvious by now that I love to write, but what drives me more is the fact that if people can relate to my writing....what they thought of it, if they can apply it to their life or if it has helped them (cope/adapt/get motivated) in some way. Sometimes it is not always apparent, since I do not receive feedback via a plethora of "likes", retweets, shares or comments (unless I'm covering a really important event), I do find comfort in the fact that I get constant hits over time. While some hits may be automated and "many" is relative...for a newbie, inspirational blogger with a full time day job and who lives on a dot on the map...I'm elated! Hits means I must be doing something right! Even if it's 2 likes or shares, it means I have 2 fans and it also tells me that I'm not speaking in a vacuum as readers are feeling what I'm saying...I guess in time, 2 likes will translate into 20 then eventually 200,000!! (If you're reading this and you fancy what I'm saying, pls LIKE, RETWEET and SHARE!!)
I don't know why I've been in denial all this time, but I just realized tonight that writing is indeed my passion, it's in my blood and this is where I belong....everything else is just window dressing. The expression of words/thoughts/ideas/affirmations on a page/screen fuels and energizes me beyond which words itself can describe to you right now. Speaking engagements may soon follow but that will take some more getting used to. Although I've done it so many times and I'm told I'm pretty good at it, there's still a fear...of what I'm not quite sure...maybe it's the challenge. But I'd soon find out and slay that dragon. I know great things are in store for me. And in God I trust, that all will be well going forward into the future. I will be able to face my fears, conquer my demons, be a better person and reach for my dreams. Yes I will! The positive reactions of my readers all makes it worthwhile...Yes my readers inspire me to be a better person!
Stay tuned to this space...change is coming...
What's your dream for the end of 2013 and in the new year 2014?
Welcome to my world...Thank YOU!
These are the top viewers of my blog...
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Earlier tonight I was thinking what to blog about...hmmm....I think for once I may have had writer's block however brief it lasted...
We'll see where this leads...here goes...
First I must say that it's soo great connecting with people that you haven't seen/spoken to in a while...it's really good to know they still care. While some on the other hand, just fade into the sunset and that connection dies a natural death as quickly as it began...we don't know why or how or where but it's some of life's harsh realities...#FakeVsReal
Which brings me to a fact of life that I haven't quite grasped...how do you know when to draw the line?
|photo credit - charliesays.it|
How many of us take and take and let things slide, ignoring things that are right in front of our faces...whether it be professional or personal...how do we know when enough is enough and it's time to confront our problems head on?
It may be an annoying habit or behaviour or perhaps just blatant disrespect and disregard. Do you ignore and channel your angst elsewhere or do you confront your friend/spouse/family member/boss/colleague? And at what point do you realize that it's overbearing and impacting on you in a negative way, so much so that you have reached the point of no return?
Personally I deal with things of this nature on a case by case basis. It's weird but it depends on the situation. Usually I have a very short fuse when it comes to disrespect, but I've realized that my propensity to ignore have grown over the years. In the past, partly due to shyness, I would give persons the benefit of the doubt as they often got away with murder. Over the years however, my personality has morphed into a complexity so rare sometimes it amazes me. Nowadays, I treat with different people differently based on how our personalities mesh, their temperament, the setting and also the relationship I have with them which dictates how much leeway I have to express myself freely.
With that said, I will make a general statement. Sometimes we accept rotten behaviour because of fear. Fear of loss of something whether it is our ego, self-esteem or something more tangible. Or perhaps we choose to ignore the transgressions of others because of the fear of conflict. It may be easier to ignore things because we don't want to create strive and be seen as the bad guy. But then this also causes us to suffer internal conflict because of our non-confrontational stance.
When we have the guts to fight our battles to the end, we overcome our fears and regain our respect as we acknowledge to others that we feel wronged. The ball is now in their court to respond to our feelings. If they don't, it's a chance we take to have our situation resolved. The odds are both parties may be able to work out their differences and come up with an amicable solution. Worse case scenario, you meet a deadlock and you are forced to make a decision to either stay in the not-so-pleasant situation or call it a day and throw in the towel. The latter may be a risk in itself, but some risks are worth it to find your rightful place in life.
Food for Thought:
- Sometimes we have to find the guts to stand up for our rights. When we do, we know whether we're walking on solid ground, rather than feeling our way around on eggshells. We find courage to find our voice and fight for what's ours - respect.
- We need to choose our battles. Some people and situations are simply not worth the time spent in struggle. Weigh the pros and cons and move forward with faith and purpose.
- When you meet a fork in the road, it's like bells go off in your head. You feel it in your soul what's the next step. It may be a risk, but it's all the risk you need to make a purposeful decision about your future and carve your space in the world. It just may be the best decision you ever made.
What's your next step?
Peace & Love
Friday, November 1, 2013
Happy November 1st!
November is here...
Another month to behold...
Time to put plans in place for your future...
A brand new year is right around the corner and what better time than today to start the ball-a-rolling to make things happen...
Listen to the signs, they are all around you...
Your moment is now!
We're also getting closer and closer to that special time...
Soon it will be Christmas again!
Soon it will be Christmas again!
Whatever you do, Remember to Make it Count!