So Much Things To Say Right Now

Like Bob (Marley) said: "So much things to say..." such little time as I am trying to post this blog before midnight.

I am taking my girlfriend's advice and being brave to be more open in my writing. This subject matter is far reaching, but one that is seldom spoken about aloud. So I am #ThinkingOutLoud again.

Another friend of mine told me several times that I'm getting too old to sever relationships with people at the drop of a hat. (Well at least that's what I think she said if I am to paraphrase!). But I ask you the reader this question: Would you continue a 'relationship' and I use the term loosely to mean a friendship, romantic involvement, acquaintance-ship or association....if it no longer serves a purpose in your life? 

I read somewhere recently that a relationship is supposed to enrich lives and add meaning both ways. If either party does not have your best interests at heart or are feigning support, then how are you to move forward with this liaison? Sometimes you never know this is the case, until something happens and screams to you in bold, red CAPS: "THIS IS WRONG FOR YOU!" Even then, you may not listen to the signs, until things go awry and you have no choice but to walk away.

So to answer my own question, life is such that nothing lasts forever. People are people and a lot of the time you can't predict or influence their thinking/behaviour no matter how much good has transpired in the past. It is human nature for us to sometimes gravitate towards the negative, or for some, conjure it up. While you have your faults too, sometimes we need to ask ourselves if a particular action is warranted given the circumstances.

My older brother told me something as a young adult that people seldom say out loud: "Carolyn, this is a deceitful world...just grin and go with the flow." It took me a long time to come to terms with that statement. I've been so accustomed to things going my way, that adulthood has been somewhat of a rude awakening.

My personality is not one of grinning and moving along, but instead being honest and letting you know how I feel from the get-go. Sometimes I think I am too honest. While in some cases I have learnt to "play this game" in the corporate world, with all other things I prefer to cut my losses and move along without the deceit. Thank God someone invented the delete button.

Would you end a friendship/acquaintance-ship if it was no good for you? Do share!

What? You Can't Lie?!

The author of this blog is someone who is in a constant state of change. My life is fluid, always in motion and evolution...that's embedded in my nature. I stay committed to my purpose and seldom give up. In fact I can't remember giving up in the last 10 years or so. 

New people I meet feel my passion and they are also drawn to my purpose. I have fortuitously met so many of them with whom I share an affinity within the last few months and years, even up till this morning. For this I am grateful beyond words. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia 2013 All rights reserved
 Arnos Vale, Tobago

The hook....

So when something out of the ordinary happens, I have to take a step back to do a self-assessment. I know something is wrong when I begin to talk to myself on the treadmill and in the car! lol. I am strange like that :) 

My personal trainer and long time friend feels my pain and tells me this soon shall pass. My other friends say that's what happens when you are doing well and others feel threatened. But what do I have?

Everyone who knows me is aware that there's one thing I could have never done in all my years, which is lie with a straight face...sometimes I think I am doomed to selling myself out. 

When I first started corporate life at the age of 17 before I returned to study, my co-workers often told me: "You can't lie? Well you better learn!" Ha! It's been many years and I never did. So when I encounter a lack of impartiality, I am truly taken aback because I think this is something that is on par with grievous harm which eats away at the very fabric of integrity.

The moral....

I struggled for many years with sharing my faith in my writing, but many have encouraged me to do so. I know I may have a few less followers to my pages as a result of my beliefs, but I stand firm in what I believe, since this has propelled me forward as I go through my life. 

As I drove home, I listened to a CD my mother loaned me by Father Richard Ho Lung and Friends. I never really liked gospel music before, but this Reggae version has been on repeat for the past two days at home and in the car. My favourite track is "Who's that Man." I rely on these words to see me through in the upcoming months as I face this particular challenge:

"Who's that man they persecute? Blessed are the persecuted for great is their reward...Fyah, Fyah (fire) come and dwell in my soul (Alleluia)...He suffered and He died, He died but He rise...He rise up high on the cross...Spirit enter your kingdom (yeah), spirit enter my soul (oh)...(refrain). Who's...Who's...Who's...That. Man? Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God...Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth......"

Peace & Love

+1 more day for feedback from my book editor...Stay tuned. *Keeping focussed and positive*

What is Your Emotional Age?

So here I am again...getting quite used to this daily blogging thing!...I am posting today since I have a meeting this afternoon and won't return till tonight...I visited a potential client this morning and decided I would return home to work on my workshop content....then head out later on. Here's a quick one....I don't usually "buy in" to these sort of quizzes but I found it was so spot on (except for the number and the athleticism part)! Here's my results:

What is your emotional age? 

You are

17

At 17, you still have dreams. That applies for you too. In your heart you are very young and full of life. You have high expectations of life. You have the impression that you are standing just at the beginning of your personal life. There are lots of ideas for projects in your head and your heart. You love to travel. At night you will invite friends around from the environing houses or enjoy a relaxing time for you. You are full of vitality and athleticism. You have a very good memory and can remember even the details of things. You can't stand injustice. That's why you fight them where you come across them. Occasionally there is chaos in your feelings. In most cases, but you are happy and grateful for the great life you were gifted.

You can try it yourself and share your results with me!: http://en.what-character-are-you.com/d/en/903/index/4749.html?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=desktop&utm_campaign=trafficcheck

Cheers~

+2 more days for feedback from my book editor...:) Stay tuned to this space.

More Umph Required!

I must trudge on despite wanting to call it a night. 

The holidays are over and I am still 'paranging' from house to house. I visited another friend today who I haven't seen since early December. Though we've spoken on the phone and Skype, nothing beats face to face contact.

photo credit - Maurice Burke photography
All rights reserved 2011

As we spoke about life, family and what we wished for 2015, I realized that we share similar sentiments. Everyone is going through so much and sometimes we don't know. We have both been burned and seen others close to us suffer emotionally. This affects the traditions we uphold and what we want for our life. 

I see in her a cynicism I once shared, however slightly dormant in me now. It made me rethink my stance on certain things like relationships and marriage and if I was more similar to my friend than I want to admit.

But I digress...that's a whole other blog or book....

Something else she said made me think. My friend said that I've come a long way in sharing through my writing and sometimes she wonders if it's really me when she reads my blogs. (I have her to thank for this). She says this is what being an inspirational/motivational writer is all about. 

She shared that I need to delve more into the "meat of the matters" in order to connect more deeply with my readers. I read part of the first chapter of my book for her and she said she needs more "umph" ! ha! And here I thought I umphed too much :( Perspective is a helluva thing! (On the other hand, she loved my poetry which was definitely umphed out to the max! One of my poems in particular she said told an entire story with so much intensity.)

I probed and probed about the book and she shared some ways I can give it that added personal touch. Both her and my editor share similar comments. I need to answer some questions that readers need to know. It's good getting opinions and taking from it what you may, without losing yourself in the process. After all I am not writing for myself. Sometimes I think what I want to convey is understood and in the process omit chunks of real meaty info. Then at times, I just don't feel comfortable sharing so much.

I told her maybe I should consider another profession! To this she said that I am a very good writer and speaker, however maybe I am not ready to share so much and should consider fiction. lol. One of my sisters have been telling me this for years, but I don't think I am creative enough for fiction. You gotta have the imagination of a fairy...lol...and this I don't.

We'll see where this leads. This Wednesday I will receive the first set of comments from my editor. I'm not sure if I should be filled with dread or delight! I know there are some things that need to be reworked. Some things I am willing to change and others I will have to think about the strategy.

3+ more days....The countdown is on! Stay tuned to this space.

Peace & Love

Do You Want More?

It's been days counting and I'm sticking to my daily blog routine. Can't believe I did this years ago with my full time job...Creating readable content every day is no easy task, unless you are a creative genius or have a very exciting life and repertoire of lessons! I have/am neither.

So here goes...*still trying to figure out what to write tonight without boring you about my life or mundane motivational rehash!*

photo credit - C. K. Correia © 2012 All rights reserved
Dallas, Texas

Recently someone told me that I am doing great...why are you never satisfied? (to paraphrase). I am not sure what context to take this in, but I asked myself the question. There's no simple answer...

I always say that success and happiness are two relative concepts: It is in the eyes of the beholder. My idea of success or happiness may be quite different from yours and the next person. 

Also no one really ever knows the 'real deal' with what is going on with a person behind closed doors. That's why we should never compare ourselves to others, because each journey is different. I must continue to emphasize that "all that glitters is not gold."

With that being said...humanistic psychology dictates that it is human nature for us to always want more...at different times...(well some of us at least). To add my two cents: It is what we choose to do with "more" when it comes and the reasons why we want more, that holds the key to the concept of either becoming self-actualized and being the best we can possibly be, or just being greedy and ungrateful. 

I for one, would like to utilize my passions and talents to their fullest potential. Not just for my own personal ambition and satisfaction barometer, but to impact other lives, because this in my opinion brings true joy and ultimate peace. This is what fulfilment feels like: to know that your life has meaning and purpose and you're not just passing through and killing time till you die.

To know that someone has benefited or can find healing, joy or motivation to get going or sort things out in their lives/vocation is rewarding beyond measure....well at least for me. It also helps you learn about others and become a better person in the process. For example, when I read the comments from my blog and even face to face with my speaking engagements and business projects, it makes me buoyant and provides the impetus to push even further. 

I am not perfect...and never will be, but there's always time and space for more.

Do you want more? Ask yourself why.

Until next time...

Peace & Love

Like this post? Sign up for my weekly newsletter coming this Wednesday by completing the contact form on your right. You can also find more by following me on facebook -https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
 Erma Bombeck

Lean, Mean Rhyming Machine!

Where did the first Friday of 2015 find you? I have been visiting friends over the last few days...it's wonderful catching up...so grateful for our paths having crossed! Thank You. What do you value the most in a friend? I love their sincerity, supportive nature and genuine, honest, neutral conversations and advice. I love their empathy and how they wish the best for me and vice versa. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia © 2013. All rights reserved
Jemma's Treehouse Restaurant Speyside, Tobago 

I just got a call from one of my Tobago peeps and as always it's such a joy to connect. Can't wait to see you this year...hopefully for Carnival or sooner! BIG love to all of you...near and far....you know who you are. I am literally bursting with gratitude and excitement for a brand new year of adventures.

So far I have two tangible goals for 2015: to publish two collections...one is my book (which is being edited as we speak...will share more soon) and the other is a collection of poetry. This I wrote in June right before my accident. It's quite an emotional piece! Woosah! 

I deliberated over this for a while but having read it for two of my friends, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and get it out there. My healing and catharsis is done. It can't do me any good hoarding it...it's meant to be shared and enjoyed. 

As I mentioned some months ago on social media, I never paid much attention to poetry in the past, as I thought I wasn't creative enough, but life has brought me to this place where I can vent through this forum. And you know what? I realized that I'm a 'lean, mean rhyming machine!' Not sure about the form or the ABAB...rhyme and so on that I studied eons ago, but a couple poetry gurus I know, told me to just write!

I was going to use a pen name, but my friends said that's not necessary as what I've described in this collection is universal to us all. I am human and everyone has these experiences at some point in their life. They were all impressed and feel that people would be able to connect as the reader/listener can actually feel the pain and emotion that I describe through my use of words and projection. 

I would love to do a spoken word CD as well, but that's way into the future and possible only if I am blessed with some miracle to meet the right people and find the resources to do so! Hey...it has happened before!

Did I 'whet' your appetite for more? Stay tuned....Will keep you posted!

Newsletter/Blogs come soon!

Peace & Love

Happy New Year 2015!

Wishing one and all a Happy New Year. May 2015 be filled with many beautiful moments where you have a chance to shape your destiny into one that is pleasing to you and can inspire others to positive change. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia © 2012 All rights reserved
Mason Hall, Tobago

Forget the naysayers and detractors and just do you. You are capable of great things...open yourself up to the multitude of possibilities that exist...you may just find that it exceeds your wildest expectations you have for yourself. 

2015 is a time to put the past behind and live in the now. Whatever transpired before now, should serve as a learning experience...the perceived negative transformed into a positive and the positive the foundation for good memories. 

The choice is ours. 

Be blessed and Make Every Moment Count! 

Peace & Love xo

A Look Back on 2014

It's so remiss of me to not do my usual Ole Year's ritual earlier this year...but after a hectic day and month here I am! Here's my lessons for 2014...

Photo credit - Arnos Vale, Tobago
Carolyn Correia All rights reserved 2013

After a wonderful year of soul searching and honing my talents in the tranquil sister isle of Tobago in 2013, I returned to Trinidad in January 2014 to "Chart my Destiny." ...

Whether I succeeded or not, is not for me to judge, but everyone I meet seems to think so! And this is not by what I have told them, but what they have seen. While I welcome the recommendations and kudos of my peers, I also tell them that "all that glitters is not gold." 

Even though I've accomplished a lot during the short space of time, everyone has different standards by which to measure success. I feel like I have done a lot, but there's always more. A new friend just told me on facebook, that many opportunities are coming my way in 2015. I embrace this wish with my whole heart, mind and soul.

While some may measure success in dollars and cents, I feel pride in knowing that I have fulfilled my reason for returning to Trinidad, which was to be with my Dad during his battle with Alzheimer's disease. Those fond memories I shared with him are golden and irreplaceable and I will cherish it all the days of my life, when things get tough (and I am told by my older sisters that they will!) 

Now that my father went to be with the Lord, I feel contented to know that I did everything I could have done to make his last year enjoyable and easier. I look back on the last few years and though there are things that I could have done differently, I feel totally at peace to know that I was here for him when he needed it the most. He knew we loved him dearly and I told him this every day. To hear him return the sentiments in his response each and every time was like music to my ears.

All my other accomplishments for the year pale in comparison to this feeling. I have no regrets, no what if's, no I should have's. I am not even overwhelmed with sadness at this time, because I know this is what he wanted and he is in a better place watching over me. I have hope that I will see him once again when my time has come. I am glad that it was not several months ago and I was given a second chance to make it right.

When people misjudge you and accuse you wrongfully, I know it's okay because what is in the dark must come into the light....the longest rope has an end and the whole nine yards. When I think of all the lessons, good times and what both my heavenly and earthly father endured for me, I just have to smile and wait on the Lord to do His work in my life.

I am not going to list again all the things I am grateful for, but I do thank God for my family and friends who have supported me every step of the way both emotionally, physically and just by being in my corner. I am thankful for my blessings and talents. This has allowed me to complete my second book this December which has been dedicated to my Dad since 2009 who has been the driving force behind me writing books. I am also thankful for the detractors and naysayers, for it is because of them that I have come this far and I am so pleased with the result. 

While I know I have much more to learn, I have grown by leaps and bounds and I feel happy in this knowledge because I understand that I am a work in progress.

So on this day: Wednesday 31st December, 2014 I say goodbye to what is old and say hello to a new beginning...welcoming #positive #change in #2015. New synergies, new hope, new goals realized.....weeding out the untruths, uncovering the pain behind the words, letting go of fear and hurt, clearing out the clutter and releasing that which no longer serves a purpose in my life. 

Thank You 2014...it was wonderful...but I gotta let you go...Forward ever, backward never....Let the good times roll....2015 here we come! 

Peace, love and abundance to you alwayz...xoxoxoxoxo

Feel free to drop me a line and tell me what you've learnt in 2014 and what you look forward to the most in 2015.

Freely, Freely You Have Received, Freely Freely Give

For once I'm at a loss for words...What should I blog about today? This daily blog is harder than I thought (and I did miss yesterday!). Write about my life? Who wants to hear about that all the time? Inspiration? That's overdone...Ahh write about your life while inspiring others to action or transformative thought...There's an idea!

photo credit - Stonehaven Beach, Tobago
Carolyn Correia all rights reserved.

For many persons reading on, this life is .... *fill in the blanks* with the first words that come to mind...

• Unpredictable
• Amazing
• Unfair?
• "What You Make It"
• "A Dream"
• Short
• "Promised to no one"

Life is a short, amazing, unpredictable, sometimes unfair dream. It is what you make it and it is promised to no one. 

It's up to us to make each moment count and live every day as if it our last so that there would be no regrets when all is said and done. Each person's life is different. We experience pockets of enjoyment, sorrow, heartbreak, success, disappointments and grief....some more than others. What is important is that we never ask why, but instead take it all in stride as God never gives us more than we can bear. He gives us our share of all these things in order to shape and mould us into the unique person we were meant to become. 

I am no different from you, nor you from me or the next person. It's what we learn from these experiences that matter most and how we can transform our present state into something meaningful to assist ourselves and those around us. "...Freely you have received, freely give." Matthew 10:8

As this year winds down, I will be doing my Ole Year's (New Year's Eve) ritual on my porch and penning my thoughts about the year. What have you learnt in 2014 and what are you going to do different? Who would have thought that the end of your year would find you here! It certainly did not start out this way....Feel free to connect and share on this space...

Peace & Love