Wednesday, October 15, 2014

You Get What You Give

I was carrying out my usual duties as Editor of a local HR magazine when a line from my book Thinking out Loud stuck in my head. And so I was inspired to share with you an excerpt.

This article was inspired by a workplace incident. It is different from the others as it is a bit of a rant. Many people have told me they could identify. It is meant to create awareness and allow people on both ends of the spectrum to be cognizant of their behaviour or heal their hearts in order to offer forgiveness.

The world has relied on the grapevine for news and information for so long that people often forget what integrity and honesty stand for. Often times we see others engaging in idle chatter, which inevitably is to the detriment of someone else. You never know where and when the rumour started but before you know it, it’s spreading like wildfire and considered the talk of the town and gossip. Too many times things like this originate from pettiness, idleness, and jealousy. If everyone was to concentrate on giving their all to a particular task, life would not be about what the neighbour is doing or, in some cases, not doing.

We see it in offices, schools, associations, even in church. Individuals need to realize that backbiting and infighting serves no purpose and it does not make them a bigger or better person to have borne false witness against someone else. From time immemorial it has been like this. When will it end? Does it solve anything? I affirm that it doesn’t. Perhaps it takes place out of fear or insecurity. Possibly wanting something another person has…but trying to get it by slandering the person’s name is not the way to go about getting it.

What you should focus on is trying to have a good aura so that people will want to surround you. If you give off hostility and pettiness, that’s what you will attract. If you routinely attract negative people and adverse situations, you have to step back and wonder if it’s something that you are doing wrong. And at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself for having to tear someone else down. 

Really, there are only two people who know the truth: you and the one you have wronged. Ultimately, you are the one who stands to lose the most. The other person is being true to themselves by being the bigger person for having let bygones be bygones and not sinking to the depths of anyone else’s transgressions. Only time will tell what a guilty conscience can live with. And of course karma eventually catches up with you. At the end of the day, you have to answer for all of your indiscretions and not a soul will be there to support you.

Sometimes feelings entrap you and you are dumbfounded by the folly of human beings but when you look at it through a different lens you can’t help but feel sorry for individuals who resort to this kind of idleness. Some people hate to see anyone else grow and develop. When things seem too good in your life, others may feel the need to bring you down to their level. The possibility also exists they themselves would like to do better but for whatever reason they can’t, and your presence reminds them of this. 

Another reason could be that they have worked very hard to get where they are and they feel as though you’ve acquired your successes too easily. In still other instances, individuals are just plain selfish and competitive and don’t like to see anyone surpass their level of success. It makes them feel less accomplished to see someone else with the same thing or going for more, for they are reminded that there is something else out there greater to do and accomplish.

Whatever the reason, individuals need to let go of pettiness and live unattached to materialistic sources. Yes, a competitive spirit is good in small doses as with everything else but sometimes you just have to know when to quit for it does not make you a better man—or woman.

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” –Ecclesiastes 9:11

You can own your copy of my book Thinking out Loud on paperback or kindle via Amazon or Lulu.

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