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Friday, July 11, 2014
Love or Something Like It: Part 2
Hullo...Tonight I share another excerpt from my first book - Thinking out Loud.
I've been editing Book #2 again last weekend...as I got myself an editor for the first 8 chapters. Will reveal who this mystery person is in time...Excitement! Still awaiting news from the publisher and hoping and praying for the best. I'm so excited with what this new book has to offer but I still have a few more weeks to play the waiting game. As I read it over and made some more (minor) revisions I can hardly wait for persons to read it as I share so much more this time around.
For those of you that have been asking about it and wondering when...I have a special treat for you and I do hope that you enjoy...Thanks as always for your support. It means the world to me. I hope, I hope & I pray and pray...daily...habitually, steadfastly....so anxious. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck!!
For now, here's an article from Chapter 3: Family & Relationships. Love or Something Like It: Part 2...I closed my eyes tonight and picked it at random, as I scrolled and selected wherever my mouse stopped. I ask myself what do I know about the topic anyway...but many people told me that they can relate. I remember when I first wrote it in 2008, still on a crumpled piece of paper in coloured ink that I had been carrying around in my handbag for days....I was at my old office and some of the guys and women exclaimed as as they read the words on the page... since I seemed to be spot on. I watched excitedly as they were all smiles as their eyes lit up with surprise. I kid you not....those were some #FondMemories
I never attempted to publish it in the press however, but decided I had nothing to lose later by placing it in the book. A few weeks ago, it all came alive again in the studio. I had doubts as usual, but my producer said I sounded like Sarah Jessica Parker and should publish a book just on love! LOL....Well ummm....dunno about that!
If you wish to hear it or read Love or Something Like It: Part 1 and the rest of this book...you can own your personal copy by purchasing it on Amazon. The paperback or kindle version is available via the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Out-Loud-Carolyn-Correia/dp/1105184382 . Locally you can grab a copy at all locations of RIK or Metropolitan Booksellers (Capital Plaza, POS). Audio book coming soon.
As always I lovvve sharing with you...Without much further ado, here it is....Hope you enjoy!! :-)
Love or Something Like it –Part II
Does anyone really know what love is? I think someone sang about that in the 80’s. But getting back to reality, the Oxford English dictionary 2008 published version’s definition of love is “an intense feeling of deep affection.”
Does this summarize what most of us feel or have felt for that significant other at some point in our lives, or is it just scratching the surface?
Do we ever really feel this undying love or affection or are we just going through the motions, trying to protect ourselves from any in-depth feeling, in the fear of baring our soul and leaving ourselves exposed, or worse yet “locked down” too soon?
Is this feeling fleeting and only experienced in a novel way at the beginning of a relationship or do we feel these emotions throughout our relationship or marriage? For married couples I think this is different, where both partners have grown accustomed to each other over time and have developed a respect or affection for the other, with the capacity to ignore the other’s flaws.
Whether or not the same intense feeling of the emotion exists throughout the duration of the marriage varies from couple to couple, but in most healthy marriages, the feeling is always there but just expressed differently. Partners however, go through different phases even before they reach the stage of ‘happily ever after.’
The beginning ‘happy phase’
When your partner can do nothing wrong and everything is magical and mystical. Some would even worship the ground they walk on, doing anything for this person until that threshold of bliss comes to an end. At this point you do not acknowledge the person’s faults; in fact you don’t even notice that their foibles exist.
The middle ‘getting-to-know you’ phase
As the days go by, little by little you begin to see this person’s imperfections. You are still willing to look past it as the good aspects still outweigh the rest and after all you’re not perfect either. The arguments are few and far between because you want to savour the happy moments so you avoid conflict and keep the peace. Instead you hold discussions with your girlfriends or brethren who have been there before and can perhaps offer some support and guidance in the right direction.
The love fights
At this point you begin to do things that each other notices as quirks. You’re not sure how you feel about these little character flaws—maybe an annoying laugh, the way they leave their things lying around, the nagging, or the fact that he doesn’t open the door for you anymore. You’re still not sure if you can live with these things on a long-term basis. You are beginning to have thoughts of the future and ‘happily ever after’. How soon these thoughts come into focus may differ depending on your gender and you may be wondering if it’s time to move on or settle. It may also cross your mind whether you can see yourself having offspring with this person.
Make-up or break-up
At this point it’s ‘do or die’—do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person or not? Can you live with the quirks? Can the quarrelling be quelled? Or is it time to ‘cut your losses’ and move on? It is important that couples sit and discuss this amicably and each partner knows exactly what they can and can’t deal with from the get-go. “You know it really bothers me when you do this…” So we don’t end up with smashed automobile windows and deflated tyres and sit around wondering why it happened in the first place.
‘Happily ever after’
I guess this is the part where the two people realize that they can’t live without each other, and that trip to the altar is nearing reality. If it happens for the right reasons, it can be the happiest feeling in the world to have met your soul mate. For others it may be an escape, convenience, or a way of conforming to society, family traditions or influences. To stay true to this life-long, monogamous commitment is something of a rare occurrence these days, but once two people truly care, this will be the easiest challenge of them all.
Whatever the feeling: love, like or adoration—respect and communication, are key to understanding the other person and maintaining sustained happiness. Relationships are hard work and are not for the flighty or faint-hearted. Those of us that truly care about the true meaning of love will think twice before using the word. It is not to be used lightly and abused for selfish reasons.
Whether you’re in love, once in love, or want to find love it’s important to look within and find out if you’re capable of not only giving love but also receiving love, for it only takes a moment to fall, but a lifetime to forget that one true love… or the one that got away.
© Carolyn K. Correia 2011. All rights reserved.
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