Let Tomorrow Worry About Itself!

I must warn that this blog is a bit of a rant! Be warned :/ #NeedToVent

Another Friday is here and I should be out celebrating. But I'm not. Honestly I've been stuck in a rut for the past couple days barely leaving the house. Just working on editing my book and planning for my next workshop. I was actually supposed to attend a Carnival theatre tonight but there was a change of plans. It suddenly hit me: your thoughts control your behaviour, so Carolyn: just channel your thoughts. It seemed to work.

At times I wonder what kind of world do we live in and are there no honest, genuine people anymore! Or am I just doing something wrong!? Or maybe I was just brought up too sheltered! It baffles me beyond words:( Without dwelling on the subject, I must find solace in the fact that the few good people I have in my life are true gems and for this I am grateful. I will leave the dishonest, fake ones up to God.

This weekend I engage with other writers and storytellers. It's time to let my hair down, kick off my heels and have some fun. I am by no means a religious person but sometimes the words just pop into my mind. I read somewhere recently and remember the quotations from my Dad: Jesus said: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Wise words that I need to follow.

Looking forward to a great weekend! Hope yours is out of this world! Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

Sneak Peek at My New Book!

Just thought I'd share a sneak peek of what my new book is about. It's a memoir about my journey over the last 6 years. It's perfect for persons transitioning careers, seeking their life's purpose or embarking on entrepreneurship. 

It did not start out as a memoir but was however intended to be another motivational/inspirational book like my first. But last December I decided to go in another direction.

It was first inspired by my Dad who encouraged me to write books in 2009. And also by my experiences especially on the sister isle in 2013 which led me to follow my dream: entrepreneurship. 

The journey has been exciting as I've met many kindred spirits who, like me are on a path to self-discovery, self-actualization and fulfilling a deeper purpose that we did not find at our regular 8-4 job. 

It is meant to inspire and make you think about the meaning of life in the grand scheme of things...Even though we may take a detour every now and then, it is meant to keep you on track with your ultimate purpose which is to do what you were born to do and impact lives for the better. It has now become a labour of love and I hope persons would be able to relate. 

Stay tuned to this space for my progress. I can't wait to share with you!

— feeling determined. 

When we are not afraid to embrace change the possibilities are endless.

How My Mantra Helped Me Kick Fear to the Curb

Yesterday I attended my second meditation class. I got the full experience this time and it was amazing. I made my way to the venue early this time. No closed doors, although I did attempt to gain entry next door, but quickly found my way to the parish hall. 

I was welcomed by Sister Ruth who later briefed me on what to expect. She told me about the mantra or "prayer word" to be said silently throughout the meditation. I also got to listen to "the talk"/reflection on compact disc and I felt my inspiration soar at an exponential rate. I thought about all the things I had to do and how I was going to do it. My procrastination ceased for that hour and I felt like I was on fire! :-)

When the actual meditation began, I found that when I repeated the mantra, my mind became still (for once). I just concentrated on the word and the world stood still too. I not once opened my eyes (OK just once :). I could hear all the sounds outside: the crickets (or frogs don't really know which), the cars as they drove by, the other night sounds. 

I felt like I was in the forest somewhere. At one point I felt as though I was transported to a time long ago, before the industrial age when electricity was not prevalent. Or maybe just when I was a child when the power went out often! lol. That was the feeling it evoked but my thoughts were like a blank canvas. As Sister said, I was no longer thinking in the past or the future, but remaining in the present.

What I found however was that after a while, human nature kicked in and I wanted to get to all the things I felt empowered to do in that moment. I wanted to get back to my life. I used the mantra less and my personal thoughts began to trickle back into my consciousness.

But it was only really my first time. I will get better with time once I continue to work at it. I found that anything you do will yield results once you are committed. 

As I drove home, I did some self-talk. I took the opportunity to do this at night, since other motorists couldn't see me and think I was nuts! I was struggling over a decision to end a group alliance that no longer proved fruitful or healthy for me. I couldn't believe that suddenly I had the urge to tell the person who wronged me: "You are my brother and I love you" despite the explosive feelings of rage I was feeling just the night before. 

This was short lived however as my Mom told me this was a pie in the sky dream (not to use her words) because those persons in question would not reciprocate the sentiments! I guess mother knows best, especially in this instance. Today I made a decision to leave and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders as I arose this morning. 

It feels great to be at peace and free from burden. There was no reason to fear change, because there's nothing my Lord can't fix. I surrender all to Him.

Now there's room for lots more exciting things in my life!

#Maranatha

Relativity

Today is my sisters' birthday (yes they're twins). The one I refer to in this blog had a great day. But not for the reason you may think. Every time I asked her if she was having a good day she said yes. She enjoyed it in her own way doing what she loved.

I offered to take her and my Mom for ice-cream on the bay. To this she said no. I invited her to come with me to my meditation class this evening, you guessed it. She opted to stay home. 

So what made her day so special? She got to stay home and watch her favourite shows on the tele! Yesterday she sat in my room while I read her an excerpt from my new book and watched Amy Winehouse videos. For her this was fun...and for me too.

However if you made me stay home all day to watch TV (one of my least favourite pastimes for a number of years) I would think you are punishing me. But to my older sister, she was in TV heaven! I guess it's an age specific thing as a couple of my older friends her age also love television.

So to answer the aged-old question: what makes you happy? Staying true to yourself and just "doing you!" Can't go wrong with that...hits the spot every time. To use the words of one of my friends when he described my writing and synopsis for my new book: "no forced extravagance."

Yup my sister is keeping it real.

In a few days I collect her Transformer tablet. I expect that this will "transform" her life!  lol. Indeed it would be hard separating her from that device for a greater part of the day! Ahhh!

What do you love to do on your birthday?! Do share.

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Happy Birthday to all the January babies born on this day!

Peace & Love

Which is the Lesser Evil?

Monday got off to a good start. I made a lot of progress. Then this happens. My bliss was not meant to be, but such is life. It doesn't take away from all the work I got done and connections I made.

I must say once again: thank God for good friends (you know who you are!) and thank God for technology. A friend of mine despite the waters that separate us, rescued me from a toxic situation tonight with his words of wisdom. Though I've only known him a few months, he always believes in me despite showing him my flaws and he does wonders to rejuvenate my spirit...Many blessings to you!

Someone else asked me tonight about trust. That's a very serious word. What is trust if it doesn't go both ways? Many of us struggle with this issue and never find the answer. I will keep searching until I do. 

I've trusted many and been disappointed many more times over, both in personal and professional life. I'm sure we have all been. But how does this guide our decisions going forward?

It would be great to believe that communication is the answer, but sometimes this does not work for several reasons. Even if it appears to work for a while, I'm beginning to think that people would always think and act as they please. This despite your greatest efforts to explain to them rationally otherwise. 

Deceit and jealousy I think are the two worst evils in the world. I think I can deal with anything else, but this has been the root of all evil since the beginning of time. It cascades onto other areas of the infected person's life and causes more damage. 

There are many resulting side-effects like anger, betrayal, sabotage, character assassination and reproachful behaviourial patterns. I could go on and on, but time does not permit.

The question is: would we ever be able to escape it? To be comfortable in our own skin, be grateful for our own blessings and be genuinely happy for others despite our differences? It only takes one person to poison the well and begin a chain reaction of distrust and negativity. 

If we can't be honest with ourselves, there's no room for trust with anyone else.

Peace

Sun Is Shining, Weather Is Sweet!

Happy Sunday ALL! Hope this day meets you in fine spirits. I was feeling a bit down (missing my Dad) then woke/got up, went outside and realized that the "Sun is shining, weather is sweet" (today:) and I'm ALIVE! There's LOTS to be thankful for. 

Sad days are expected every now and then, but we should not let the feelings linger too long...I know I needed to pull myself together when a friend whatsapp'd me and made me think of how much more fun awaits in life. After hearing a couple of your 'weather reports' I was reminded of how much I wanted to travel the world in my lifetime...

So far I've only been to #England, Grenada, Northern California/San Francisco/San Jose/Santa Clara etc, New York/Jersey and Texas...There's no place like home though and I'm counting down the days when I'm back on the sister isle of sweet #Tobago grin emoticon

Where have you visited? And what are some of your burning desires which you hope to do in your #lifetime?! I would love to hear from YOU!

 — feeling positive

Reunion Tower, Dallas Texas

Tower Bridge, London

Gouyave, Grenada

Is It Okay To Be Your Only Fan?!

Tonight I am having a glass of wine in celebration of all my hard work this past week. It was long in coming. I kept saying I must make time to celebrate but I haven't. Sometimes a "time-out" is necessary to reward ourselves for a job well done. Well, "good" is a relative concept, but once we are happy with ourselves that's the first step. Confidence is important.

That brings me to another point. Is it okay to work in a capsule where you are your only fan?! Sometimes I write something and re-read it a gazillion times because I am so pleased, then someone else may not get the same feeling about it! Has this ever happened to you and what do you do about it?

Hmmm. 

After careful thought, I think that when it comes to certain things like writing, singing, cooking...which is better enjoyed by other people, we must aim to please. I don't write for myself, nor do I buy my own books and CDs. Therefore I must ensure that I listen to the feedback and concerns of my readers and listeners. If I don't do this, then my work is in vain.

At the same time, if you listen to too many opinions, you lose your sense of identity. You get swept away by what other people think and your sense of self diminishes. You lose confidence and self-worth and eventually your drive and passion would diminish.

We don't want that! So whatever you love to do, ensure that you strike a healthy balance.

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Peace & Love

You May Never Be Perfect, But That's OK

Today is Friday. It was a good day. A sad day for some. An ordinary day for most. For me it was just average, but I am thankful. Most times we don't look at our days in the grand scheme of things, but I realize I ought to do this more often.

photo credit - C.K. Correia all rights reserved 2014
Pigeon Point Beach, Tobago

I am at mental place where I am still establishing my footing as an entrepreneur and I realize that I have lots to learn yet. 

I am glad for the fantastic network of friends and colleagues who are always there to lend support whenever I need it. 

As I revisited my second book with the suggested edits from my editor, I realized that my story is ever changing. This is because I am changing. I am constantly growing and my evolution is part of living. If you don't change, there's no growth.

While I feel there's still so much more to learn and adapt to, I remain aware of my actions and shortcomings. Sometimes it's so hard to adapt to things in your environment, because every time you say you will do X, Y gets in the way. It's as though the devil tries his darnest to see you falter! How many of you feel this way?

But yet I fight. I try. I fail. I get up again and try and try until I succeed. It's a continuous journey. After several baby steps, one day you may be astonished to discover that while you weren't paying attention, you've taken a giant leap in the right direction. 

One thing I bear in mind: We are all human and none of us are perfect. Perfection is an illusion. It's like trying to catch your own shadow. It will never happen...no matter how hard you try.

So go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. I remain conscious of myself and my journey. I am very aware of the things I need to work on, but I take it one step at a time. That's life. I may never get it completely right, but as long as I keep trying, in time I may get close enough to put my mind at ease. And that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things. 

Have a great weekend all! Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

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I Did It My Way

Conditioning the mind is so important to constructive thought. Whenever I think I can't, I tell myself "I can" and focus my mind with all my might on the task ahead. Sometimes it's not easy, as there are lots of variables to deal with on a daily basis, but it is very possible.

I felt pulled in so many different directions for the past couple weeks trying to tie up loose ends and get things done. In the process I forgot that my mind also needed a break. I've been working on getting my body back up to its usual fitness levels and forgot to take time out to meditate and just be. I think my meditation class put me back into this mode.

I know there are lots of things I have to work on still, as I realize I still allow petty things to anger me. But you know what? When you realize that God is in control, you just wait on Him to do His work. There's nothing you can do, but pray and sit and wait. He will deal with things in His own time and He is always on time.

Right now, my focus is to manage my time wisely and cautiously and choose the people I allow to get close to me. Through my meditation I will ask for the gift of discernment since I am still learning that all that glitters is not gold. I was just telling my agent that today. It's like a rude awakening the lengths people go to hide who they really are.

Today I edited my friend's Dad eulogy and tomorrow I deliver. Her words made me YouTube Ol Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra). I had a good cry to get it out of my system. Although I did not know her Dad, I feel her pain. I cried for her Dad, my Dad and even Frank Sinatra as he sung "My Way"! I got lost in time to a period in history long ago. 

Tonight I also completed a project that I was working on and I am pleased and proud of the result. Now I wait to see how I feel about it, then submit and wait some more for feedback from the client.

Today I did it my way and I love how it feels.

Cheers~