Tuesday, August 26, 2014
It's 2014: How to Move on and Get Over Your Past Already
First published on Elite Daily. Read it here:
Just like that, it happened: We’re now in the month of August, eight months have already passed in 2014, and yet some of us are still stuck in 2004. Where did the time go?
Many of us have already celebrated birthdays and others look forward to another year of wisdom. This no less will bring with it an awakening of sorts and a load of new experiences: some good, some bad.
Nevertheless, this is all a natural part of life. The important thing is how we process what has happened to us and learn to transform it into something meaningful and positive.
I must admit, and my friends will tell you, I am sometimes one to cry over spilled milk. Who spilled it and how could they do such a thing to me?!
But what I’ve learned is that you can’t change the past or even destiny to a certain point. You also can’t change the intentions of other people, which may not always be so honourable.
We can however shape our destiny by the choices we make, as we are all given free will. I was taught and strongly believe that what is to be will simply be.
It is important to consider that each moment was instrumental in where you are today and to the person you have become. I talk about this further in my book, “Thinking Out Loud.”
The faster you learn to cope with the past, the sooner you will be able to reap the benefits of the present and be ready for the future when it happens.
I know all too well that different people have different coping abilities, techniques and thresholds of pain, but I must continue to stress that the mind is one of the most powerful tools we have. If we learn to condition our minds and tap into that inner strength we all possess, we can better learn to guide our lives to our desired outcomes.
It is useful to give ourselves a goal or time limit within which to push ourselves to achieve a particular milestone. Whether it’s trying to come to terms with that school we did not get into, the job or client we did not get or that relationship that ended.
We are not machines and our emotions don’t function like clockwork, but if we continue to nurse our pain, angst or grief, we will make ourselves miserable and become stuck in a time warp.
We will find that all the people we encounter are moving on with their lives and seemingly having fun and accomplishing dreams, while we are wallowing in self-despair and pity. This is self-defeating behavior and serves no purpose in our life, it can only cause us to remain in a negative state of fear and defensiveness.
Instead of becoming and remaining a victim, find things to occupy your mind and time when you feel like moping. Get involved, go out and meet new people.
If you can afford it, take a trip solo or with friends, experience a new culture, ambience and cuisine. Splurge: Treat yourself to a spa day, lunch at a new restaurant or a ride at an amusement park.
Interestingly enough, when you do these things, especially if you do them alone, you get to learn more about yourself and enjoy your own company.
You will achieve a greater sense of independence and change your perspective physically, emotionally and spiritually. As distance and time separate you from your past, you are able to transcend those situations.
You find yourself in a better place in your life, where you realize that people and circumstances don’t create your happiness, but, in fact, you do.
When you begin to find your place in this world and know who you are independently, you find the strength to get over your past and work on becoming the best you can be.
It’s 2014: Live in the moment and make it count!