|photo credit - CK Correia Chaguaramas Board Walk - Trinidad|
Saturday, April 5, 2014
The Tale of my Cold Feet and Paradise Tabanca
It's officially been 1 week since the launch of my workshop and while it was a success (see earlier posts) and some persons are asking when is the next one, I'm beginning to have cold feet. Too late you say to go chicken...I know right?!
My friends have all given me feedback and I have taken it in stride, however I suddenly realized that my work doesn't end with the pilot. They have all commented how I am so courageous! I guess they would be disappointed to see this wimpy post! "Give it time...this is normal" they say...I suppose this is good advice. On a more serious note, I have some minor tweaking to do and some things to make it even more exceptional. This right here is why blogging is good. It not only serves as my catharsis but it also causes revelations in the process.
I hope someone else out there who's at a turning point in their lives and may be going through the same thing can relate (if you're out there please do leave a comment). As I think about some of the most recent advice, my mind is working overtime in the background to create exciting elements I can add to make it a masterpiece and an over-the-top experience for my future participants.
Over the years especially the past year I have received positive reinforcement and encouragement for my writing. I have since incorporated them into the creative process for my second book, my blog and my workshop to hone my talent and sharpen my skills. As I write this I remember one friend in particular telling me throughout last year that I have "a voice"...he said that's so important because not many people have that. I guess that's why I continue...
Almost every week and even at my workshop my friends tell me how much they enjoy or can relate to my blog posts...it's a great feeling to know that your talent serves a purpose in the whole scheme of things and indeed they are the glue that on occasion keeps me going sometimes! Even on those days when I feel uninspired and bogged down by the entrappings of life...(you know every day can't be all sunshine and roses despite outward appearances! We all have those moments...indeed I have come down from my high of living and working in paradise (Tobago) for the past 12 months.)
I must say I adapted to returning home in the onset pretty well but by mid-February I was beginning to suffer some serious withdrawal symptoms and paradise "tabanca" (for non-trinis that's local parlance for loss or a broken heart)...I've been missing it all...for many reasons...independence, beautiful ambience and change of scenery, solitude at times (believe it or not), island life, new friends...amongst others. Sometimes I wonder to myself: "What have I really done!?? I gave all of this up soo soon!" But indeed I needed to take this step...I needed to begin this chapter and start my new life....to live my true purpose. To stay in one position beyond it's purpose in your life is to stay stagnated and unfulfilled.
I truly believe that I did what I was meant to do and the time had come for me to move on...at least professionally. To find another job on the sister-isle would have just prolonged the inevitable. I would like to still do freelance work on the island and perhaps conduct some workshops and consultancy but only time will tell what the future holds. I place my trust in God to lead and guide me positively into the future, to help me embrace this new role and adapt to change.
I now know more than ever that I am back home for a purpose ---more than one ---some of which I can't disclose here and now, but I will say this --family is #1 and we need to cherish the time we have with our loved ones because time changes everything.
So this blog took on a new direction of its own...I will try to get rid of my cold feet and think about the positive impact this new role can have and take the advice from the participants...incorporate it and schedule my next session with some friends in the south land who missed the first session.
I will try to also rid myself of my tabanca! And get on with the business of living my life...I reckon it's not gonna be easy but I will certainly try to condition my mind to do so.
I will have faith and believe that big things are headed my way (like one of my friends present on the workshop said)...ready myself to be brave and face what's ahead. Fail or win...it would be well worth it. But win I must. I CAN do this! "All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me." - Phillipians 4:13.
I don't know where I find the energy...after a full day and an outing with my parents and then back home and out again to the movies...feeling exhausted...I am suddenly revived at 12 AM with the thought of photography and blogging...It's confirmed: I'm addicted to the internet and to writing...it's in my blood!!!
I will leave you with a photo from today...
Until next time...
Today is yours to behold...Make it Count for something special!
Peace & Love