You Get What You Give

I was carrying out my usual duties as Editor of a local HR magazine when a line from my book Thinking out Loud stuck in my head. And so I was inspired to share with you an excerpt.

This article was inspired by a workplace incident. It is different from the others as it is a bit of a rant. Many people have told me they could identify. It is meant to create awareness and allow people on both ends of the spectrum to be cognizant of their behaviour or heal their hearts in order to offer forgiveness.

The world has relied on the grapevine for news and information for so long that people often forget what integrity and honesty stand for. Often times we see others engaging in idle chatter, which inevitably is to the detriment of someone else. You never know where and when the rumour started but before you know it, it’s spreading like wildfire and considered the talk of the town and gossip. Too many times things like this originate from pettiness, idleness, and jealousy. If everyone was to concentrate on giving their all to a particular task, life would not be about what the neighbour is doing or, in some cases, not doing.

We see it in offices, schools, associations, even in church. Individuals need to realize that backbiting and infighting serves no purpose and it does not make them a bigger or better person to have borne false witness against someone else. From time immemorial it has been like this. When will it end? Does it solve anything? I affirm that it doesn’t. Perhaps it takes place out of fear or insecurity. Possibly wanting something another person has…but trying to get it by slandering the person’s name is not the way to go about getting it.

What you should focus on is trying to have a good aura so that people will want to surround you. If you give off hostility and pettiness, that’s what you will attract. If you routinely attract negative people and adverse situations, you have to step back and wonder if it’s something that you are doing wrong. And at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself for having to tear someone else down. 

Really, there are only two people who know the truth: you and the one you have wronged. Ultimately, you are the one who stands to lose the most. The other person is being true to themselves by being the bigger person for having let bygones be bygones and not sinking to the depths of anyone else’s transgressions. Only time will tell what a guilty conscience can live with. And of course karma eventually catches up with you. At the end of the day, you have to answer for all of your indiscretions and not a soul will be there to support you.

Sometimes feelings entrap you and you are dumbfounded by the folly of human beings but when you look at it through a different lens you can’t help but feel sorry for individuals who resort to this kind of idleness. Some people hate to see anyone else grow and develop. When things seem too good in your life, others may feel the need to bring you down to their level. The possibility also exists they themselves would like to do better but for whatever reason they can’t, and your presence reminds them of this. 

Another reason could be that they have worked very hard to get where they are and they feel as though you’ve acquired your successes too easily. In still other instances, individuals are just plain selfish and competitive and don’t like to see anyone surpass their level of success. It makes them feel less accomplished to see someone else with the same thing or going for more, for they are reminded that there is something else out there greater to do and accomplish.

Whatever the reason, individuals need to let go of pettiness and live unattached to materialistic sources. Yes, a competitive spirit is good in small doses as with everything else but sometimes you just have to know when to quit for it does not make you a better man—or woman.

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” –Ecclesiastes 9:11

You can own your copy of my book Thinking out Loud on paperback or kindle via Amazon or Lulu. http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Out-Loud-Carolyn-Correia/dp/1105184382

Nice Like Sugar & Spice: Just What The Doctor Ordered!

Hello my loves....

I am back home after 3 days of bliss. Grenada me love yuh bad! This is my mini blog, as I am still surviving on 4 hours of sleep. I reconnected with old friends, made new ones and just had a ball of time. 

It was a personal trip to my friends' wedding which was so beautiful and emotional, but in the process I learnt a lot, changed my perspective and renewed my spirit with a ton load of new experiences. 

photo credit - C. John 2014 © All rights reserved 
Grand-Mal Beach Grenada

Though not my first visit to the spice isle, I was met with open arms and so much hospitality from those I hardly knew. 

Thanks to Curlyn and her friends George and Merlin who opened their home to me and welcomed me with open arms after the mix up with my hotel...I will never forget it! 

I believe in destiny and being in the right place at the right time. We were meant to cross paths at this particular moment although we may not know the reason why right now. Many thanks for your encouragement and faith in me!!

To Elle the beautiful, talented (and young) angel: continue the good work and I hope to read your book in 2 years when you graduate!! You made my night when I learnt that your friend's mom ordered my book Thinking out Loud on Amazon! What are the odds of me meeting you to find that out! That means my message is reaching persons far and wide...(If you have bought the book and are reading this, please send me a note and post a review on Amazon!). Even if I only impacted one person, it would have been well worth the effort as I have learnt so much in the process. 

Thanks to my old friend Anthony for coming to my rescue on Friday! Man I appreciate ALL of this outpouring of kindness sooo much like you won't believe. It means that I must be doing SOMEthing right to have the stars aligned in my favour! Let the good times roll :D

This morning I stood on the porch at 4 am just listening to the sounds of the waves crash and released my intentions with ardent faith that it will be fulfilled when the time is right. I felt tied to the island somehow and tried to remember my mother growing up here a lifetime ago. Technology sure is amazing and it's good to know that I'm just a hop, jump and skip away from friends and that the world is waiting for me to explore...As George would say: "Peace, Love & Happiness!!" 

Until next time xoxo

Watching It All Unfold

This is a test blog for my upcoming trip. I am blogging from my phone. I have this uneasy feeling that just came over me that I can't seem to shake. You know the one where someone says or does something that makes you feel nervous and tense? Or the one where you imagine all sorts of crazy scenarios in your head. In spite of this, I am trying not to let it affect my mood.

Lots of exciting events happening all at once in the next few months which I will reveal right here on this space. Until then I remain hopeful and plan my tight schedule for the best outcome. I am in a good place and I wish to help others do the same. I realize I have a passion for making things happen, not only in my own life but in the lives of others. I like to see everyone around me utilize their full potential and live their best life.

I don't like procrastination. This happens to the best of us from time time, but most times I like to get up and do, Do, DO. I don't know any other way and I don't understand why everyone is not the same! I like fireworks, excitement, transformation, colour, energy, life changing events happening ALL the time! In this way I never get bored. I am always creating and making way for a better way. For this purpose I will be pursuing Life Coaching next year. There I said it. I already have some informal requests.

Will keep you posted

Live a little, LOVE a LOT, Make it Count

Don't Lose Heart, Big Things Are Happening in the Background

Tonight's blog is short, since I have to make an airport run tomorrow. So much to say, but I will keep it succinct. Don't know exactly where to start or what I wish to place on record publicly. I know I haven't given my bucket happiness list yet, but I will get to that very soon. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia 2014 All rights reserved.
Crews Inn Hotel and Yachting Centre, Trinidad

I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. Over the past few years and especially within recent times, I've been meeting some truly interesting people. 

They come with so many equally interesting diverse stories and life experiences. We connect on a deeper level. There is the same fire and drive that I see in myself, sometimes even more intense. It's like a breath of fresh air.

Their passion for what they do and their interest in my passion and story is also encouraging to say the least. For this I am soo thankful (You know who you are!)

Sometimes I wish I can capture it all and document it in some way. I am so glad to be surrounded with positivity as I am able to feed off of this energy, also giving off my own to create a dynamic so splendid, it makes me buoyant and able to ward off the negative when they arise.

Then I wonder why can't all relationships and all people you meet be like this! Negativity comes in some weird forms and places; sometimes we wish that we can eradicate it simply by blinking ourselves off to another location as in the 80s TV show I Dream of Jeannie. (Boy how I miss that show...they sure don't make TV like that anymore.)

I gotta say that it's hard not to react when faced with such toxicity, but it's a skill I am trying my best to master. In spite of this, I am hopeful and excited for what the future may bring. Sometimes when it seems like nothing is happening on the surface, big things are happening in the background, waiting to unfold in your life. 

Be patient and trust that it will come. Most times this happens when you least expect. Stay open and be ready for it when it comes...because it's easy for this to pass us by when we are wrapped up in our own thoughts, fears and other distractions.

Sometimes we wish for things and when we get it we find ourselves wanting more or perhaps we are a bit ungrateful as a subconscious reflex...Still we know we should be giving praise, because we could never do this on our own. Human nature or not, we need to give credit where credit is due, humble ourselves and fight the urge next time.

You know how much I love sharing with you...I have more good news, but I will wait to share this one...you can wait a few more days right?!:-)

On another note, the count down is on to my trip to the Spice Isle...I can hardly wait! If you reside in Grenada and want to connect with me, please drop me a line on the contact form on your right or email inspirationescape@gmail.com.

Best to you! Live a little, love a lot. Make it Count!

Cheers~

If you haven't already, please join me on my journey-https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia

Life is Precious: You Don't Get a Redo! Please, Please Be Careful on the Black Carpet!

Happy October!

With recent news coming to hand, I must put out publicly the following reminder...

Friends: please be careful on our roadways! Every day we take a chance when we venture past our front door, turn the ignition, get on the subway, bus, airplane or taxi...It. Is. A. Scary. World. I will never ever take life for granted after my near death experience this year.

Technology has catapulted us into a more advanced society where life is sometimes easier and faster, yet those of us that can remember (not me~) often long for the good old days. You know the ones that your parents or grandparents talk about where life was easier and simpler. The time when the only thing you had to worry about was taking your bike to work or walk.

Now it's impossible to walk or ride anywhere with the plethora of vehicles on our busy motorways. We can't imagine life without technology and I am the first to be thankful, but sometimes it would go a long way, if we just take a mental step back and slow down, be kinder and more considerate on the roads. Think about how you or your loved ones will like to be treated by other motorists.

I have received so many bad drives over the last few weeks, I know it's sometimes difficult to remain calm. There is no rush to the finish line when the rest of our life is waiting for us to enjoy.

Everything else can wait when we think of returning to the smiles of our loved ones and dreams to fulfil. What's waiting for us on the other side can wait a few more years when we can truly say that we have fully lived, loved, learnt and shared. 

Peace.

photo credit-C.K. Correia 2014 All rights reserved. Stonehaven Bay

Blast from the Past

Good night my lovelies...Facebook/internet can either be a blessing or curse depending on how you use it. 

Tonight I reconnected with another old colleague I worked with at my first job! Wow!!! (that's a longg time ago btw)...Wait...the story gets even better...she told me that she kept a poem/prose (not sure what it is) that I wrote and gave to her before I left. 

Ohmy! I myself had forgotten about that until just yesterday when I was spring cleaning to turn my room into a home office. 

That is such a good feeling and soo heart warming and humbling to know that she saved it after all these years and it's in pristine condition. It blows my mind. 

I was thinking what I should do with it...should I publish it in my second book? Anyway, here it is...I wrote this when I was just 17!!! Hmmm...

It rings true for me even after all this time. I guess I was way beyond my years...Sometimes I think that I'm an old soul trapped in this body :S 

What do you think of my piece? Can you relate??! Do share!!! Pretty please

© Carolyn K. Correia 2014 All rights reserved

What Really Makes You Happy?

Many thoughts are swirling around in my head as I write this.

A thought echoes from something my sister said earlier tonight, which I can't repeat. I ask myself why I allow other people's opinions to influence and interfere with my drive and focus. I resolve that it's because I am open to change and improvement. But sometimes we have to learn to separate the external opinions from our personal truths.

It's been a busy week which ended on a good note. Tonight I attended an Evening of Tea and Readings (and wine & yummy treats...did I mention wine? :) at the Paper Based Bookstore at the Normandie Hotel, Trinidad. 

I am constantly reminded that there are sooo many talented persons in the world. Wow! I heard poetry from my old university professor who taught me a Linguistics course that I loved. Her name is Dr. Jennifer Rahim. Her words and humour put her audience at ease and were insightful and pure. Staccato applause endorsing her thoughts.

A few months ago I listened to short stories read by another lecturer Dr. Elizabeth Walcott-Hackshaw. Also refreshing and insightful. Both authors also read at the Bocas Lit Fest. 

Other readings tonight were from celebrated authors and film-makers such as Mariel Brown, Jan Westmaas and Vashti Bowlah. Felicia Chang also spoke about her experiences and what led her to form her own company. Her journey similar to mine was interesting to listen and learn about.

I am enthralled by creativity and those who dare to "throw off the bowlines" and follow their dreams with their whole heart. I am on this path and sometimes I feel like I can't get where I want to be fast enough. But my friends are the ones that remind me that I have lots for which to be proud and will get there in time.

photo credit  - C. K. Correia All rights Reserved.
Grafton Beach, Tobago

These days I am also getting excited and anxious hearing about the journey of another friend of mine who is also an author and about to launch her second business book. Little does she know she is inspiring me every step of the way.

Last night I dusted off my manuscript and made some changes. I started writing the 9th chapter of my new book. One more to go then I will publish I've decided. I haven't written in many months but yesterday I had a Moment of Truth. 

This book charts my journey as a writer and the transition from HR back to Communications...what led me to embark on entrepreneurship as a consultant and speaker. I wanted to come full circle in terms of my journey, as I thought I needed to do more. So I waited for this to happen.

Then I realized that there would always be more to do. I got a phone call that I was praying intently for just the night before and decided to pay a surprise visit to my friend Beverly yesterday as I was in the neighbourhood. For the first time I described the book to her and the source of my delay. 

Very calmly in her usual dignified, yet charismatic tone she dispelled my concerns and over lunch said this to me: 

"What more do you want girl? You have spoken locally and internationally. You have been "making your mark"  all along. Hurry up and finish your book so that I can read it!" 

Lol. Still I had my vision for the book. To this she responded that I should save that for my next book. 

I went home and thought about what my friend said hours before and decided that she was right. It's time. The journey will never be over. I have shared so much already with the intention to assist others "find" themselves and provide that extra nudge to embark on their own journey. 

I am in that place.

I am happy.

I am doing what makes my heart sing.

My sister is wrong.

I can hardly keep from jumping up and down...

I can live in this moment forever...(I may never leave my room:)

I can't wait for you to read it :-)

On to chapter 10!

Do what makes your heart sing!

Peace & Love

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Facebook much? Join me on my journey- https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia

It is What It Is: Learning to Appreciate Your Past

First published on Elite Daily. Read it here first: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/learning-appreciate-past-decisions/770460/

How many times have you wished for a time machine so you can go back in time and change what was? Or, do you find that you constantly beat yourself up for past decisions?

I have heard friends, family and even myself say, “If only…” but life is about learning! I can now say emphatically that everything is exactly as it should be.

There’s a great master plan for each of our lives, and if we learn to embrace what comes, we would be better able to guide ourselves towards fulfillment, peace of mind and success.

There is no right or wrong, good or bad way in life. Each unique moment in time gives us wisdom and grace to deal with our future experiences.

It’s easy to look back with a heart full of regret and even self-loathing after the moment is gone, but the truly courageous thing to do is to find the silver lining in each situation:

What has this experience taught you? What did you gain? How can you make the next (similar) situation work for you? What are some signs that you can look for, so as to avoid making those decisions or perceived mistakes in the future?

I don’t hold the magic elixir to solve anyone’s problems, but with time, comes wisdom and perspective. If we quiet the internal and external “noise,” and reflect deeply on our past and what is important to us at this present moment, we can chart our destiny and watch the answers manifest in our lives.

It’s so strange that when I practice this, the right situations and people appear in my life so as to guide and take me to the next level of my journey without fail.

The power of intent and faith is truly amazing. It’s also important to never lose heart. Someone wise once told me that when you are at your wit’s end and about to give up is the moment your miracle will come and things will turn around. These are definitely words to live by.

Many of us may desperately want to move on from a situation, whether it is a job, place or relationship, but may find it challenging to do so.

During the time it takes to successfully transition, it’s helpful to try to make the most of the situation. The reason why it’s taking so long is probably because you haven’t learned the lessons yet.

A few years ago, I was at that place; I was at my wit’s end desperately searching my being for a revelation, to progress to the next stage in my life.

I remember blogging about it for many years, and bit by bit, I evolved, until one day, when I least expected, I got my breakthrough.

Sometimes, the answers you are looking for doesn’t come right away, but the key is persistence and being in a constant place of preparedness for the next step.

It was only after several months of that chapter being closed, did I realize why my breakthrough was taking so long. I was being prepared for the next step along my challenging journey.

Indeed, all aspects of your life may never be perfect, but the key to healthy and wholesome living and mastering this thing called life, is learning to appreciate and value the good and bad, and take it all in stride.

Everything happens for a reason, and we ought not to underestimate this sometimes cliché statement.

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, first said,

"The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, but make the best of everything they have."

If we bear that in mind, we can then appreciate that we hold the key to happiness and success in our hands. It’s all a matter of perspective and conditioning our minds to fulfill our desired outcomes.

What!? You Don't Read!

I know I promised a Bucket Happiness List, but this post snuck up on me. Next blog I promise, I will share my credo for happiness.

I'm an avid reader of blogs and online articles. Recently I have been reading blogs more than all my other books. I am addicted to the internet. I barely watch 2 hours of television a week (though I do love movies on the big screen). However tonight I've read 2 blogs...multiple posts in between all of my other work. 

Many people have been telling me of late that they don't read. Who doesn't read right? But funny I understand. Books are like a new love. Starts out hot and sweaty, then sooner or later fizzles for some arbitrary reason or another... 

The time. The devotion. The energy. Sometimes it's hard to keep focused..."to block out the internal and external noise." 

An entire book is a commitment (to me), especially since I've read about 4 dozen fiction books while reading for my literature degree at university. 

I just reminded myself of this after a conversation with my sister the other night. West Indian. British. American. African. African American Literature. Poetry. Drama. 

I remember my final year I had to cram 23 books into one semester or less. Plus reading for my Communication minor and all my other electives!

After that ordeal, I thought I was all read out. But you know what? I am better for it.

To excel at this was a milestone for me, especially since I never took Literature at CXC Ordinary Level or GCE Advanced Level. (I stuck to business subjects and the closest science for me which was geography which I loved.)

Out of all the books I read, what stood out in my mind ironically was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce (antiquated sop--for some strange reason stuck), Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett (my friend and I had a few good jokes about that two-man play), Pantomine (a play I loved, but for the life of me can't remember who wrote it), Oedipus Rex (where I got my first taste of Greek mythology and learnt my favourite expression: catharsis and the famous Oedipus and Electra complex/penis envy etc). 

I loved the African plays and poetry filled with such rich culture, customs and history - Death of the King's Horseman by Wole Soyinka was my favourite....Jane and Louisa Will Soon Come Home by Jamaica's Erna Brodber....The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemmingway (I remember one rainy morning our tutorial class analyzed this narrative to death till there was no more)....Beloved by Toni Morrison and The Colour Purple by Alice Walker....for coloured girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf by Ntozake Shange (strange title, but interestingly unique collection).

In my teens and early 20s, I was a bit bookish too. I remember going to the library often during the period after graduating from secondary school and waiting on call backs from job interviews (needed something constructive to pass the time).

Those were the days.

The books that stood out to me were Pearl by Tabitha King, Remember along with several other books by Barbara Taylor Bradford (she was my fav author around that time). She wrote of journalism, romance and espionage in dreamy locations. Of course who could forget the classic: To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Oh and Jonathan Livingston Seagull - the story of a gull destined to be different, by Richard Bach. The simplicity.

Ahh yes…those were the days of blissfully long days and nights of just me lost in the land of make believe stories and words. Page after page. Chapter after chapter. Book after book. No spoken words. I did not have time for that. Now I have enough of my real life tales to provide fodder for my own work. If you only knew! 

I need to get back to that place where life was less complicated and simple.

More recently I've read The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson which I blogged about last year. Lent to me by a work colleague in Tobago, this book literally changed my life and gave me new direction for departing from the ordinary, following my dreams full time and starting my business. 

Mandy Hale is also a good inspirational, funny and personable author.

There's so much more. But I'm making a mental note to keep this post short (I don't think I succeeded).

Have all these readings influenced my writing in some way? Can't tell. I think I have my own style. But for now, I will continue reading. There are many half way read books on my kindle and those still unpacked from my stint on the sister isle. (Who knew I would have such little time for reading?!)

Among them are: Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey, Woman Thou Art Loosed (T.D. Jakes), a few West Indian authors' books I picked up at the bookstore right before I left. 

There’s also my most recent favourite reading by a Canadian author I fancy: Susan Olding's Pathologies: A Life in Essays. I can relate on many levels to her work. Was attracted to it for some reason at a quaint bookstore years ago and never read it until now, but now suddenly fascinated by the style and format. (Just goes to show, a book doesn't always have to have a plethora of reviews to be revered as 'good' or 'great' for that matter.)

Somehow when I'm reading, I am compelled to break away and just write, but I must rekindle my love-affair with books. So I'm told if I am to be a 'good' writer/author.

I applaud my friends and all those persons with full time jobs, kids, side-jobs, books/blogs/columns of their own to write, houses to run and clean and still find time to read multiple books.

One day I will be at that place again...

For now, I am multi-tasking to complete all of these great books by the end of 2014, so that I can get a new batch for next year. Wish me luck.

What are you reading/what's on your bucket reading list?

Until next time,

Happy Reading!