It’s July and so much can change in the blink of an eye.
I
am infinitely grateful to have lived to see another month that is so special to
me. This Monday I had a near death experience yet again that helped me to
appreciate the value and purpose of me being alive.
photo credit - lerablog.org |
Since then I have somewhat lost my zeal to write and
continue my projects that I was working on so relentlessly.
Before I divulge
the details of my trauma, I will silently acknowledge all the people that have expressed
concern and assisted in my time of need.
This experience has given me a greater
appreciation for the people and things that are most important. It also taught me to stop stressing about the irrelevant things that don't matter.
It is also a
warning to curb bothersome behaviours and thought patterns and as my guardian angel
(in human form who came to my rescue) said to me: slow down metaphorically. I
have since started shutting down my computer at 10pm and limiting the extended
hours of work.
In the few seconds of
lucidity when I thought that It. Was. All. Over. all I could think about is my
family and how hard it would be for them when they found out. But thank God I
say my prayers every day and night and I was uninjured despite the gravity of
the situation.
I will not divulge the details of my almost fatal experience
right here in this blog today, but I needed to vent on some other issues and I feel that this is the best platform to do so as someone else may be able to identify. It’s
strange people who are close to me always marvel at how much I have overcome in
my short time on this planet, despite the odds. Most of all I have always had
to deal with negativity in my life...all around...always.
I need very little to make me happy and high on the list is
a close inner circle of genuine family and friends and my first love: writing.
Sometimes the two don’t mesh but I always listen to my heart and do what it
tells me to do.
Over the years and even more recently, I have been discouraged
and criticized harshly for my style of writing and the contents (mostly by members of my own
family believe it or not)…either for writing too impersonal and later too personal or
just for writing and the place it is coming from!
It’s been very difficult to digest the source of these disparaging
and personal attacks, despite numerous attempts to explain how happy and buoyant
it makes me feel and how effortless it is to write when it comes from a natural source of inspiration and life experiences/revelations.
But after I weighed all the factors, I decided to listen to the
many good reviews, comments and words of gratitude that I have received over
the years by my friends, acquaintances, customers, lecturers even my doctors
and other persons with whom I do business. The statistics on my blog and
social media accounts from countries all around the world for the past 6 years also act as an impetus to continue doing what I do.
I must come to terms with the fact that not everyone is
made up the same way. Not everyone would appreciate your view or like the same
things you like. Not everyone is equipped to move beyond their present state and have the ability to rationalize
logically and overcome physical and mental obstacles. And not everyone has the
willpower to move beyond the limitations that are sometimes just a mental,
transient state if you condition your mind correctly and listen to your heart.
Then other times plainly and simply, people would not be happy for you for their own personal
reasons and that’s their prerogative. Yet at times, it’s very disturbing and hard for me to
grasp these things: why persons would want to lash out repeatedly in very ugly ways...for no apparent reason, despite
you simply presenting the truth and cold hard facts about a situation. It’s difficult to
wrap my head around the reasons why things would get so out of control and arbitrary
as if I was not even a part of the discourse!
I have however devised a mechanism to avoid such toxicity in
my life…which I wrote about on Elite Daily a few months ago: http://elitedaily.com/life/4-peaceful-ways-to-rid-your-life-of-toxic-people/. I need to refer to
that many times so as to internally deal with troubling issues like this. It's wise to keep my distance and avoid close contact at all costs.
There
was an advertisement on television when I was growing up and the slogan was: “Patience
is virtue and virtue is grace”…school children of my time, never forgot that…it
was the butt of many jokes! I found out it was later attributed to Dick King-Smith.
Yes indeed, I need to distance myself from negativity so as
to find my centre and realize my ambitions/purpose which we were all enabled with the power to achieve, if only we tap into that inner strength and learn to put the past behind.
We are all on a learning curve and I have found that I can use the
negativity to improve and push even further to achieve all I was meant to be in
life.
As I take this time to heal and unwind, I shut out the external
“noise” and continue to work on me. I was given not only a second chance, but a third chance at life. I plan on making the most of it.
Cheers to the weekend and Happy 4th July to my American
friends!
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