Character is Everything

Tonight's blog I promise is going to be a short one. This week had it's highs and lows and at

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2015. Al rights reserved
Mason Hall, Tobago

the end of it, I am grateful for the outcome. I've been awash with a sea of emotions since so much is going on simultaneously, but I'm excited about the journey. 

I've been grappling with declaring my faith in the public realm, but today I can't help but shout it from the rooftops that prayer never fails. So many fantastic things happening in my life and I owe it all to my faith. 

Something that's been on my mind for the past year has finally come to pass and it is only short of miraculous. Although I can't declare it publicly as yet, I am amazed at the power of intent. 

I've been even thinking about it on the ferry to Tobago recently and remembered asking a friend for his advice. I returned from my vacation with it still on my mind and as I drove to my destination, I got a call with the good news! A proposal I sent almost a year ago to date was discovered and well the rest is history. The person on the other end of the line declared: "Nothing before it's time." Wow!

As I watch other pieces of this great big puzzle of life fall into place, I stand back and smile. I silently and sometimes literally jump for joy. I can't believe that God is showering me with all these blessings despite my imperfection. I am happy and grateful for another chance to work on my frailties, put the past to bed and let my inner light shine. A couple wise people once told me: "Carolyn, it's all about character. Outward appearances are just that. They don't mean anything. Character is everything."

We are all a work in progress, but the genuine people will always see your true worth.

Peace & Love.

Have a great weekend.

Bring Back the Old Time Days!

I am trying to keep my blogs short from now on based on the reviews over the years. But sometimes you know you have soo much to say! Something happened today that I was debating whether to blog about. It should not even be an afterthought, but it got a second thought despite my intentions. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia All rights reserved 2010
Macqueripe Beach, Trinidad

On my way home from two meetings today I stopped by the mall to exchange a pair of shoes. As I was walking back to my car, some girls and a guy was sitting on a bench. I did not really look up to meet their gaze as I passed, since I was concentrating on navigating around the puddle of water in front of me. 

Still, I ALMOST slipped in my heels. As I passed by, something very derogatory was said by one of the girls. Something to the effect of: if I should fall, they would just laugh because I purposely stepped into the puddle of water!

I thought about this and how nice it would have been to react to this statement. Then I just shook my head and wondered if this is what our society has been reduced to. I spoke about this briefly in my first book - Thinking out Loud. I wondered what happened to the good old days our elders told us about. Then I remembered this is just one person. This is not a representation of the wider society. After my car accident last year, I realized that there are still good people who genuinely care about helping others. 

As my memoir unfolded, I also came to this realization on my own. I discovered this also (as far as) Grenada and Tobago. Though this second book is about my professional journey, I also disclosed some personal sentiments which accounted for my growth. I started off in one of the earlier chapters mentioning that I find that authenticity in many relationships (both platonic and romantic) are lacking, as so many I thought to be close to me have shattered my sense of trust. By chapter 11, I realized that the universe has always been working things out in my favour my whole life, if only I slowed down long enough to take notice. I was either being protected or prepared/strengthened for something greater.

Things are always working in the background. Every perceived bad occurrence in your life, is a blessing turned inside out. The cliché: "find a silver lining" holds true. Be still and quiet the internal "noise" and you would suddenly become aware of your disguised blessings. Can you also think of ways where this is happening in your life? Feel free to post a comment below.

Have a great weekend.

Peace & Love

ps I don't think I succeeded in keeping it short!

No More Living in the Past

I just spent the most fabulous 6 days on the sister-isle of Tobago. It was a very impromptu decision which are usually the best ones. What I didn't do, I forgot to...I was having too much fun to remember. I really came to do work, but that notion quickly disappeared. 

photo credit -  © C.K. Correia 2015 - All rights reserved
Englishman's Bay, Tobago

My friends back home told me I needed a brain cooler and almost without effort I found just that. I drove around the countryside villages of Moriah, Englishman's Bay, Castara, Parlatuvier, Bloody Bay, L'Anse Fourmi, Runnymede and exited thru the other end of the island to Roxborough, Belle Garden, Goodwood, Mt. St. George, Scarborough and back to my old home of Mason Hall. 

I went to Harvest (sharing of food and drink) and ate enough curry goat, provisions and buss-up-shut to feed a town:). I got to see my brother again and took in some limbo at Sunday School and caught up with (literally) ten more of my friends at a new liming spot. Still couldn't get to see everyone, but words can't describe how great it was seeing the ones I was able to meet up with. They feel like "home"...like if I've known them a lifetime. I have now returned to reality refreshed, relaxed, rejuvenated and ready to go again! I feel like I have a new lease on life.

Last night I used the ferry ride back home to unwind and today I skipped gym to attend my meditation class all rested to get the full effect. When I returned home, things that bothered me 6 days ago, took longer to take effect. I think I may be on to something. Tobago+Meditation[+Gym] = Recipe for serenity and a healthy body, mind and soul.

On my last trip in September, I thought I got over my Tobago tabanca, but I was wrong. Revealing some of those carefree, liberated awakenings I had when I lived there in 2013 in my memoir made me yearn for more. 

Somewhere along the 6 days, I realized that being back on the island and in my old apartment did not have the same effect. I still absolutely love the feel of the place, but I had a simple yet marked revelation: Time did not stand still! Not for me, nor for everybody else. Things are quite different two years later. 

I LOVED my life then, but I like the one I have now too: renewing old friendships, following my dream and all the new people that have come into my life are priceless joys. I can't recreate those identical moments and emotions 2013 brought just by being back in the same place. It's different. I can't live in the past. I must move on. Life goes on and I can't wait for all the exciting things that are in store. Like my mother always says: "Time waits on no man."

I can always go back when I need to. And I can always re-visit my memories of my Dad of when he was alive and visited me with my sister, as well as all my other adventures whilst there. Maybe I would even return to live one day, but for right now, I must live in the NOW and I have a feeling it's gonna be one heck of a ride. 

What are you waiting for? Are you living in the NOW?!! Feel free to share by posting a comment below.

Peace & Love

Happy March!

photo credit - C.K.Correia 2015

Giving thanks for another great week and an even better month ahead. Last week was fun. I am reminded of how good it is to have great people in your circle. 

Over the last week I reconnected with friends and caught up with a cousin I hadn't seen in a while. I remember my Dad taking me to meet her for the first time when I had just entered university. Those were good times.

Being back at her house over the last few days, I remember the times spent there with my father and all the nice memories we had. I reminisced about playing with her very large imported English 'doggies' as she called them, picking mangoes, grapefruits, pomeracs and drinking coca cola! Those were the days when I was thin and not as health conscious! That was before my wine days:) Now when I go to her house, I have Prosecco and still pick mangoes and talk about the good ole days. I also marvel at her still lovely and beautifully abundant bougainvillea flowers.

Being in a different surrounding with different people does wonders for your psyche. You get different points of view and step outside of your own little "Idaho" just for a minute. You realize that some things you were fussing over seems immaterial in the grand scheme of things and this too shall pass. You also value other people in your life more. 

Church does this too. I am now discovering this as I attended the Lenten Retreat last week. I decided I am going to rekindle my relationship with going to mass. I admit I may have been wrong. It's such a wonderful feeling to listen to the choir sing all those lovely songs I remember from school days. It also helps that my mother is in the choir :) This together with the humorous homily and welcome back hug from my parish priest seems to heal all the areas in my life that needs healing. 

So here's to March: May this month be filled with everything you NEED: peace, joy and love. Stay open to the endless possibilities and allow the right situations and people to find you. Reach for the sky and watch your dreams unfold. Oh and remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

It's Not All About the Paper

I feel that so many things are competing for my time, that I need to slow down and prioritize. Now that I am an entrepreneur, some ask what I do all day because they somehow think I have the world of time. Little do they know! I stopped explaining.

In my workshop I say that there will always be more: more to create, more writing projects, books, blogs and articles to be done. I am my own boss so I am especially hard on myself. But time is too precious to waste it being consumed with the race to the finish line and not stopping to enjoy the journey....the process...the many pit stops along the way. The people in your life that matter who assist in making it worthwhile.

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2013

Tonight I made the resolution to slow down. I've been burning both ends of the candle for the longest while, sometimes going to bed at the time working people are now rising. 

Although I am encouraged by my friends and others like me who are on a similar path, everyone's threshold for endurance is different. I must strike the balance between not wanting to go to sleep at night and not wanting to wake up in the morning but having to anyway! :)

I also decided to take a time-out from the virtual world of email, Skype, self-imposed deadlines and real life meetings to relax and unwind outdoors at least once a week. So last week and yesterday I did just that. I celebrated with family and took outings in the middle of the day. Things I could not do when I was employed full time. It was refreshing. I returned with a fresh outlook and new energy.

So while I would like to finish my book and get ready for my workshop in April, I must pace myself and do it properly. My research shows that this can take a while. I am now into the third draft of my book. After I get feedback from my beta readers, I presume I would want to make even more changes. But I will ensure that I do not lose my voice in the process. 

After meeting with my marketing person to discuss my workshop, I realized that this too is a work in progress. I am glad to have him on-board with 'fresh' trained eyes to give me objective advice. 

For me it's not all about money. This is an ongoing debate for some, but I don't need a lot of it to be happy. I have everything I NEED. The rest ("the WANTS") will come in time. I must survive, but every now and then, I take a time-out to just be ME. 

How about you? Can you relate? Please log on and post a comment below.

Peace & Love

Happily Ever After

I went to church today. This is not the norm for me. It was a special occasion, so I made the exception. While I am a prayerful person and pray multiple times a day, I am not very religious. I can't figure out why, but every now and then I try to make an effort to make it to the church on time.

photo credit - C.K.Correia 2012

It was very emotional for me. Several times during the mass I had to blink away tears especially when the choir sang the Kyrie Eleison, as I remembered my Dad. As I sat there I looked around at the wide cross-section of people. 

Some were elderly, there was a young couple with a daughter that I have been seeing for years when I did attend. I even remember when the child was a baby. For a second, I wished I had their commitment. I saw some old married couples and there I got the idea for this blog.

Marriage. What a taboo topic. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be married for 50+ years as was the case of the subjects in question. My parents were married for this long. But I digress.

No matter what transpired during the marriage, what would it be like to seem this happy or 'comfortable' as this couple in church? To attend church together and do everything together. To be each other's life companion?

What a thought! To co-exist with another person for this long. To FORGIVE, to forget. To share, to learn, to TRUST, to not 'fret'. 

It's food for thought. How many will win the marathon? It's definitely not for the faint hearted although some fake matrimonial bliss. Will I ever find that? Do I even want that? Does it even exist!? Ahhh...

I was just having a conversation with a friend about it yesterday. In fact she brought up the topic. My friend who is 41 and a very successful, self-sufficient professional does not want the bother. She thinks it is a waste of time at her age and she is better off alone! 

While I do not think I am that bad, sometimes I do like my space to live my life how I wish especially since I have so much planned. I probably should not say that openly as it may ruin my chances, but what the hay! 

Many of my married friends always ask me if I do not want to get married as they think I'll make a great wife. They don't understand my response. But who knows what life may bring...I will still remain open to the possibilities for happily, ever after and prove myself wrong that this actually exists...

Peace & Love

Don't miss another post, follow this blog via the link on your right.

My Greatest Fear

Tonight's blog is unexpected. I write this one to vent my feelings which I can't express verbally. Most times I don't even know what I'm feeling till I start writing. If that makes any sense! Can any writers relate?

I am in the final stages of editing my second book. I've completed the second draft and awaiting the revisions from the final few chapters from my editor Patricia. Usually we would connect via Skype, but the last couple times we had a telephone session. I find that these sessions are better and more personal.

photo credit - C.K. Correia 2015 - Chaguaramas

She told me some things that made me think. Some of which my friend Roxanne have told me before. 

They both said that I am a good writer. Roxanne even said on more than one occasion that I write beautifully. 

But I was waiting on the but. lol. There was no verbal "but" but there was a but. 

I need to "get over it" and just write, share more deeply my editor said. She said: "Is it really that difficult for you? It's not that bad Carolyn. Some of these things have happened to other people!"  She said my second draft is a vast improvement, but I still need to connect the dots with my relationships with some of the people in the book including my Dad.

So I asked myself: What can't I let go? What am I so afraid of? She said: "What is the worst that can happen? People would not judge you. That's the only way they can connect. Be honest with yourself and you will be able to motivate others further."

Yikes. I think that is it. I'm afraid of people judging me. But why? I have shared much more by just being on the internet than the average person, yet I am still afraid of baring it all.

There is a need to return to my core and search my soul for the reasons. 

Do I want this book to be read to the end or do I want readers to speed read?

My editor thinks this book can help people. I do too.

I am committed to making it an over-the-top experience that they would not want to put down. I want my readers to refer to it often when faced with a life challenge. 

I want them to connect with me on a deeper level, feel my struggles and gain strength from my experiences and lessons.

I want it all.

Would you want to read it?

Peace & Love

Don't miss another post. Feel free to subscribe to this blog.

It Felt Good to Get Lost in Time

I just this minute decided that it's too much pressure to get boxed into a daily blog post. It's too regimented and boring. I'm a spur-of-the-moment kinda gal and this is just not gonna work out. I like to write when I want, how I want and see where my fingers lead me. So for now, I will blog whenever I have something to say that can add meaning, instead of filling the empty spaces with words.

For the past few weeks I have been overcome with so many emotions of the past two years of

photo credit - C.K.Correia 2014. All rights reserved
Grand Mal, Grenada

my life in particular. Some good, some painful, some in between. It felt good to go back but not for too long. I think it's because I was writing about it in my memoir, then again it could just be my mind playing tricks on me :(

Time changes so much. I remember a time when I did not want to remember some things and now I find comfort in the good memories...pushing back the bad ones. 

For those moments I got lost in a time that stood still. I remembered it with a smile and took a moment to be thankful for the good that it brought to my life. 

I acknowledged that everything has it's place and time in your life and then you move on. You must move on in order to get to the next level of your journey without pining away for something that was not meant to be. Every perceived disappointment is a blessing in disguise.

I know I am a bit vague. But if you stick around, you can read more in my new book. 

This is my thought for today. Can you relate? Please post a comment or subscribe.

Everything Lasts for a Season

It's Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago. While everyone is out revelling: fêting, getting ready for J'Overt and Mas' (street parade of the bands), I am content with being all snug indoors with my manuscript, books, wine and watching it unfold on tele (did I mention my best bake and smoked herring?!). Having plugged into social media, I realize that there are many others like me. 

photo credit - C.K.Correia 2015 All rights reserved
Queen's Park Savannah, Trinidad

Last Friday night out on the town proved that I do not find comfort in those things that once excited me. I guess I am on a different journey. 

I have a ticket for Tobago and while I wish I was there already with my friends, all I can think of is all the things I have to do here in Trinidad before I can totally let go and relax.

Are there things that you once enjoyed but for one reason or another your priorities have changed? What caused the shift? Do you think you would get back into that zone where those things matter to you? 

Although I was never much of a  fêter, I do enjoy a good lime with good company every now and then (did I mention good food and drinks too? lol). Nothing lasts forever and this season will soon pass. I will let loose and have some fun. As we say in trini: "all in ah timing!" 

Popcorn and more wine anyone? :-) The Dimanche Gras now in progress!

What are your burning desires for 2015? What is standing in your way?

Peace & Love