Saying Goodbye is Never Easy but it's Time to Move On!

As I awake to a brand new day in sweet Bago land, I am filled with all sorts of emotions. My being here signals the end of an era and saying goodbye to many memories...

First time living on my own (college doesn't count) and away from home for so long, turning my own key and having to do everything for myself…First real taste of independence, discovering that I had all this courage, strength, self-sufficient capability within me and tons more. 

(Yes I sound spoilt I know! –For those of you that know me, you know why:) But trust me coming back here this time around, after having been back to Trinidad for the longest in over a year…I’ve come to appreciate just how brave and strong I really was!

When I meet people my age that I haven't seen in a while, they often seem shocked when they learn that I moved here on my own!

Tobago has been real wonderful as I made a lot of new connections and got to see and experience the island and by extension the world thru a different lens. As with everything in life, of course it was fraught with its own challenges, but those were short-lived and pale in comparison to the overall experience. 

I never got lonely, never ran out of things to do and never wanted for anything. I am humbled and grateful. I give GOD all the glory! 2013 has been a good year… I can’t say I had any major complaints. And you know what’s even better? 2014 is shaping up quite nicely as well...Still officially on vacay but working hard as usual.

I will sure miss this view....sniff sniff :(

This morning I was filled with so much nostalgia and a tinge of sadness to be leaving this life behind. Ironically, I also felt sad to leave home yesterday even though it was just for a week, since I have a lot of family related things going on there. 

As the boat docked as the sun was just setting over the bay and I drove to my apartment from the port, I felt in my soul that I have really embraced the decision to move back to Trinidad. A lot of my friends thought it would have been hard to return home, but I must say that I am really surprised and thankful for my versatility.

Change is something I was never really good at, but within recent years I have come full circle to adapt to my environment and accept the new opportunities that present itself in my life. People are a different story. I am still having difficulty adapting and accepting the behavior of those that I thought to be close to me.

After having gotten used to living in a house with people since Christmas, it’s sort of strange as I look around my empty apartment filled with only possessions and memories of a happy time. As I use the next few days to clean up and pack up the rest of my stuff, I will do some soul searching as I take steps to embrace my new life and all the people I left behind a year ago…although some of them never really left my side.

I will leave behind all the baggage and foibles that I need to work on so as to be the best me I can possibly be moving forward. Best of all I am ready to embrace the many new projects I have planned for 2014 and look forward to what adventures the year has to offer with keen interest. It’s a lot of hard work ahead and I’m excited and anxious to see it through. 

I will reveal the details in time but I will say this much as I have said over the past 13 months: I always thought that I had more to give and my journey was never defined by an 8-4 routine. Now is the perfect time (as I have nothing or no one stopping me)....to embrace those possibilities and step even further outside of my comfort zone, where I can truly live free and unfettered and give something back as I contribute to life and the world around me in a more meaningful and profound way.

My plan for the week is to work on my second book and other material in this quiet, scenic and relaxing ambiance and live it up one last time! As I sit here watching the lovely sunset again on my once back porch, I am waiting on a friend to join me...Happy hour starts in few hours…lol #SunSeaAndSand here I come! 

As for the things I have no control over, as the French say: C’est la vie!

Until next time…

Cheers~

New Lease on Life!

My oh my...January is almost thru! Time is an enigma that I would never be able to completely wrap my head around...

So I attempted this blog at least twice before, but for once I guess I have writer's block. Well not really...I've paused for a second to evaluate my writing...it's not that I did not want to share...but maybe it's what I share. From not writing in the first person and sharing little or no personal information at one point, to now sharing freely whatever I feel in my soul...my writing has suddenly taken on an agenda all on it's own. 

photo credit - klat.com

I've been struggling with this thought for some time now...and the explanation of such...if it is subconsciously due to the thoughts of a couple of my siblings who did not particularly like my 3rd person accounts or maybe my writing has just morphed into something that is widely accepted as the norm...

Whatever it is, it never feels forced or laborious...as always it comes natural and I feel comfortable doing so. While I will not go over the top and share ultra personal stuff as I've seen online with jaw and eyes agape, I maintain my confidentiality and peace of mind when I put my computer to sleep and it's lights out.

So I've deliberated on whether I should share this latest iota of information...and I decided I'm just going to let it flow. I'm going to stop listening to what other people think I should write about and just write what comes naturally...my inspiration escape. A few persons have even expressed their pleasure in reading some of my latest work over the past few months and of course this is a delight to me....so keep the reviews coming!

It's amazing how sometimes your life can become clearer when you go through a life-altering experience. Although it's not a major metaphorsis, when you are on the way to recovery you are suddenly awestruck by the magnificence of life and your purpose. One more reason to thank God: I had 3 of my wisdom teeth removed surgically last week and though it's not a big deal for some people, it was for me because of my narrow opening. It was highly technical and I was putting it off for many years...some doctors didn't even want to perform the surgery. But thank God I found a super gifted surgeon who is truly a God sent. When the initial anesthesia wore off, I felt like I had a new lease on life...it was amazing. My family and friends were all praying for me and I feel so blessed, loved and elated that it was successful...I feel high on life...(and also still high on the meds! My doc said it will take a week to fully wear off).

With this hurdle out of the way and January almost over, I felt that I have paved the way for new and exciting things to come in the months ahead. Although this is a continous journey, I am thankful for the people that has crossed my path since I returned home and look forward to many more. I will have some announcements soon as I have lots in store...

My first Food for Thought and Life Lesson for 2014: 

While some things in life are meant to be and others aren't...we can't force the latter to endure. Some of the most unsolved mysteries remain a puzzle until the time comes for closure. We can't hold onto the past and blame ourselves if the outcome was different from what we expected. We just have to try to stay focussed and commit to being the best US we can possibly be. You can't fix those external people and situations around you, but you can fix what's within you...

Until next time...

Peace & Love.

Will you Change with the Tide?

What's your game plan? Many athletes come up with a plan about how to win that big game. So too many of us come up with plans for our life and how to accomplish our hearts desires...whether it's that job, man/woman, house or car.

But...do these things have purpose within our lives? Will it enrich our lives and the lives of those who cross our path? Is it in alignment with what God wants for us? I've found that many times it isn't. Most times this is driven by our need for material comforts...that would soon fade away when the novelty has worn off and replaced by another need for acquisition. It may be possibly driven by a need to keep up with the Jones' or satisfy some other need in our lives. In extreme cases this may be driven by greed and the need for status and popularity.

 image courtesy C. K. Correia © all rights reserved

Now I'm not saying it's not good to want and have nice things. Who doesn't love the look, smell and feel of new things...in fact it is in alignment with the ever-popular psychologist Abraham Maslow's  hierarchy of needs model. 

Maslow (1970) posits that after your basic needs for safety, food, shelter etc are met, it's natural for us as humans to want to feel loved, affection and belong to family, friends, social groups and romantic relationships. It's also natural for us to want to fulfil our esteem needs and desire independence, self-respect, achievement and even prestige and dominance.

I strongly believe that once you maintain a relationship with God, uphold His laws as much as possible and give back to society through your life's work, He will reward you without you looking or trying too hard. We need not try to fill that gaping hole in our lives with things that don't mean a thing in the grand scheme of things. If we really consider the concept deeply, our life will still be the same with or without those things. Material comforts are temporary. They satisfy a temporary need. And most of all, they carry no meaning except in social circles.

When we are old and gray they would not be there to give us comfort. It's the people and relationships that you nurtured during your life that will endure and assist when you need it the most. And it most definitely will not put us in better standing with God the Father when we die...that is if you believe in the hereafter. We can't take it where we are going...in fact we won't need it...it's only to be enjoyed in this life. If you lack that happiness and peace in your soul, it won't do you much good either. Life is more than a pretty house with a view or a car with a sunroof. 

If you need a plan to "get" a woman or man...then she or he isn't worth the chase. They should want to be with you for you...for the non-material things you bring to the relationship...like the ability to bring cheer when you are down, to offer moral support without asking, cook you a meal after a long day, bring a smile when you walk into a room or laugh like no one else can. Your ability to steer them in the right direction and vice versa or talk/listen for hours without tire means more than what money can buy. I'm no expert on love but you live...you learn.

Time's a-changing and we are all a part of that movement of change...

Are we going to change with the tide? Or get lost and disappear in the waves?

Food for Thought...

Peace & Love.

When the Lights Go Down...

Day 5 of the new year already! My...where is the time going!

The Christmas season is behind us and soon it will be time to take down the tree and decorations...it will be sad to see the lights come down :( I trust that we not only received, but also gave a gift to someone in need...whether it was a smile, a hug, a phone call, an email or a warm meal. If you can afford to give monetary gifts, great but sometimes the best things in life are free and makes all the difference in the world. And it doesn't have to end at Christmas time, it would mean a lot if we can also extend this spirit of giving throughout the year.

photo credit - hdpaperwall.com

The new year is a great time to re-evaluate our connections with others. I'm sure every now and then we do a mental checklist of the persons we hold dear to our hearts. I've seen my connections on social media even announce a "spring cleaning" from time to time as they go through their "friends list" to see who makes the cut! I'm sure we are all guilty of that at some point. 

The time may come for us to sever ties with people who we think are not genuine or do not bring the right energy to our lives and indeed this is a sensible thing to do. Negative energy can only serve to cause us to lose faith and confidence in our goals and abilities, weaken our drive and deter us from our purpose and that's something we can all do without.

A friend reminded me tonight that not everybody that you talk to or who even supported you in the past will be truly happy for you. I've known this for quite some time, yet I try to ignore and act like business as usual. The way I look at it somewhere along the line, something you say or do may positively affect or influence someone else and vice versa. Out of the 95% discarded thoughts, feelings, emotions, words and other drama...one can certainly put aside one's personal feelings, fears and prejudices to stay open to the lessons or shared experiences with one another. 

We were having a conversation about sharing personal content on social media and also writing on the whole. Though not everyone will comment, it's good to know how I can improve my artform....that's all part of being a good listener and writer. You can't possibly listen to everything everyone says without losing your voice, but you can take what rings true to you and discard the rest or perhaps put it away for later use. After all, it's not about writing in a vacuum just for one's personal use...writing as with all the arts is for other people to enjoy and benefit.

Many people have been inspiring me and I need to accelerate and refocus my game plan for this year. I have so many things to do and I need to schedule my tasks and make timelines for achievement...otherwise time will just elude me and we don't want that! Task #1 starting tomorrow....I need to continue full speed ahead with my second book. I think I've been enjoying the sister isle a wee bit too much since I haven't been devoting as much time as I hoped for the past year.

January is going great so far and I'm thinking it can only get better. Spending quality time with family and friends I haven't seen in a long time was the perfect end to the holidays. I also got my workout regimen in place and I am determined to accomplish my fitness goals for 2014. My legs thank me after my two hour session at the gym yesterday...the soreness lets me know that I did something right! A little more cardio, then I am good to go...I can get rid of those extra pounds I put on during the holidays:) Sometimes company makes all the difference. 

Do you have any diet and fitness goals for the new year? What about lessons learnt in 2013 that you want to put in place in 2014? Please share!

Hope the weather is treating you right where you are and that you are keeping warm.

Until next time...

Cheers~

Breaking Boundaries...Charlie Rose!

So my new year got me off to a slow start...missed the gym today...and just pretty much slept in for most of the past couple days...oh the joys of being on vacation!...late nights and later mornings...lol...I'm not even embarrassed to say it...I feel as though after going at warp speed without more than 2 days rest at a time--even if so much, the tiredness of the entire year just came down upon me all at once! A few of my work colleagues feel the same way....But on a serious note, I feel as though 2014 is racing already...I've got sooo much things to do!

The first working day of the year, saw me sending a blog pitch to a few international online magazines...reviewing my own book #2 in progress and perusing several online magazines and social media cites..we'll see how this goes...I'm determined to have my work published in more magazines in 2014...never really put much energy into it before but I feel this is my year...

I have yet to complete a couple presentations I've been working on sporadically since November...between wrapping up work projects, travel and Christmas preparations, I've been totally consumed...so now is the time to make the most of my down time before it gets busy...

I'm not really a TV person but I've been watching a little bit every now and then...what I really enjoy watching is a programme I discovered late last year which some may be familiar with - The Charlie Rose Show. I was totally impressed by his journalistic skills and also the guests he chooses for his show, which even included the late great Nelson Mandela. He's definitely breaking boundaries to deliver the inside scoop to enquiring minds. 

Now that I have my wonderful high speed internet access back 24/7, man I've been following everybody on every social media cite imaginable: twitter, facebook, youtube, blog, website...you name it! I need to get back in touch with the world of technology...it's delightful to say the least.

Oh, so back to Charlie Rose...recently I caught bits of James Franco, Leonardo DiCaprio and a year in review, but my best by far is Mandy Patinkin, of which I managed to see most. Mr. Rose sure knows how to choose his guests and it's so inspiring to hear them speak. Tonight I watched the year in review where salient snippets of persons interviewed over the decades (who also died in 2013) were aired...a bit morbid you may think...but it made me marvel at how important this man's job is and all journalists and media practitioners for that matter. 

The subjects' life's work and story/legacy if you may, is forever immortalized and captured...frozen in time for generations to come. Viewers who did not even have the chance to know of them or their story can review these archives at any time and get a glance at what their life was about and the mark they left on the world. They can now view their films or books and have an opportunity to receive the messages or lessons embedded within their art. I think it's an amazing gift to the world and an important job. Hats off to you!

That's all she wrote for now...I have a busy day ahead...gym is definitely on the agenda! Then I can take on the world! Till next time...

Cheers~

Happy New Year!

Hope the first day of the new year finds us in a comfortable place within our hearts. May you always have peace and contentment, family, good friends and love, good health, long life, true wealth that money can't buy and enough of everything to last a lifetime through! 

May you have the will power, courage, fortitude and determination to persevere to the end and overcome all of your battles and fears and follow your dream to fruition.

Wishing you a bright and bountiful 2014 and beyond.

Cheers!

Thank You 2013!

As I begin to pen my reflections, the clock just struck midnight on ole year's morning and I am 

photo credit - newyearsms.net

curled up under my covers with my wonderful kwan loong oil :) The once lingering tiredness escapes me right now and my mind wanders...

What can I say about 2013 that I haven't already said in the last few days...

It was a good year. Many firsts for me...first time living on my own for so long in a different land, facing fears, stepping outside of my comfort zone and finding the inner strength to do all the things the minority said I couldn't and much more...But this blog is about you and not me. Around this time of year, this is my ritual: to share my lessons. 

Here are some things I learnt in 2013...

Cherish the ones you Love

Time is short...it goes by in the wink of an eye...you will be amazed how many things can happen in the space of 12 months! A very special friend of mine told me a long time ago to cherish the time I have with my parents because they won't be around forever. Indeed this is good advice so I'm passing it onto you...whether you are married or single, young or old, live in the same country or not: make the most of the time you have with your loved ones especially parents. Life is unpredictable and uncertain, old is age is non-discriminatory...Some of us shine in our twilight years with all our sensibilities and the vigours of youth...some are not that lucky. All I can say is that you never know what life has in store for any one of us....you can be good one day and then totally transform or regress into a totally different person the next. It's a sad reality but when it happens, you have to find the strength to cope with what comes your way and the hand that you are dealt with. So show and tell them that you love them, kiss and hug them, talk and reminisce with them and value their presence in your life before it is too late.

Exercise, eat healthy, stay away from stress and negativity 

Over the past year and more recently the last month and week I realized how important this is. Whenever you can: get moving, stay away from junk and rid yourself from toxic people and situations or find a way to keep your distance. I've been involved in some form of exercise for the past 13 years...not as passionately as I wanted to, but yes I stayed committed. This year was the only year I haven't been exercising consistently due to my location. I think it's because of my past regimen that kept me afloat and I didn't turn into a weak marshmallow. Staying fit is an important part of keeping your mind and body healthy. It takes fortitude, mental strength and sacrifice. The same goes for negative people. To keep sane, it is important to find a way to keep them at bay if different ideologies or mentalities prevent you from getting along for longer than 5 minutes.

Believe

It is important to believe in something otherwise you would stand for nothing. I can't tell people what or who to believe in, but the mere fact that you have life in your body and all the blessings manifested in your life is not by luck or chance nor your own doing. God reigns supreme in my life and He comes through for me time and time again even when I think I wasn't deserving. He forgives, He forgets, He warns, He protects, He provides, He inspires and guides, He caters to your every need and He would never let you down if only you let Him direct your life. Pray earnestly and consistently, forget your own intuition and advice of others, believe and trust with your whole heart and allow Him to work miracles in your life.

This is a short list this year, but it captures the essence of the matter. Hope everyone had a great holiday...I thoroughly enjoyed the Christmas season and I'm still enjoying it till January 6th 2014! Overall I must say that 2013 has been a good experience...I was at a friend's house last night and was telling them that I feel really blessed to have connected with so many cool people over the past few years..she said to me that it's good that I was also receptive to those connections. My friend is right: It is very important to stay open to people and opportunities God places in your life...everything happens for a reason...Stay OPEN! Don't shun or close the door on someone or something, because you never know how great it can turn out to be. I thank God for giving me supportive parents and placing all of these special people in my life who believe in me and my dreams and volunteer their advice and support. 

Good things are in store once you believe. I believe and I earnestly wish each of you a Blessed and Bountiful New Year 2014 with all your dreams coming true. I wish you all the good things you wish for yourself...good health, long life, family, good friends, happiness, peace, love, fulfilment...abundance. May your cup overflow and may God shine His face upon you with unending blessings. 

Don't hold back on your dreams, longings and aspirations: feed your dreams with all the necessary ingredients like dedication and sacrifice and you will succeed. I do not make resolutions anymore but however work towards monthly and daily goals for myself. At the start of the year you can note them, but remind yourself constantly with "loud" reminders on your fridge, computer, phone or real life people who serve as cheerleaders in your life.

As the sun sets on this last day of December 31st 2013, I urge you to reflect on the past year, thank God for all that He has done for you and your loved ones: the good, bad, ugly, indifferent. Find the lessons, tuck the memories away in the recesses of your mind where you can refer to it as often as you like, but don't dwell...Let the past transform your present so that your future can be an awesomely favour-filled experience!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

photo credit - flickr.com

Peace & Love,
Carolyn

Don't Listen to the Naysayers....Live your Life in COLOUR!!

I usually post my end of year review on ole year's (as we say in trini-land)...otherwise known as New Year's Eve. So this is my pre-year-in-review blog post...Thought I needed to clear my head for a much needed catharsis before the final countdown.

photo credit - www.quitsmokingjournals.com

As I am about to embark on my new journey, I've been sharing my news with others...I must say the vast majority of persons are really happy for me....ecstatic even....that was a pleasant surprise. However only one person who is rather close to me has scoffed at my decision...This has left me with quite a few emotions:

Amazement

Confusion

Anger

After the emotions subsided somewhat...I asked myself why can't this person ever support my dream(s)? Of course this was expected. Recently one of my former work colleagues loaned me a book entitled: "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. It's about the journey of an "ordinary" folk outside his comfort zone to achieve his Big Dream. The author warned about "border line bullies" and the like...people who would come along to throw sand in your dreams with all the reasons why you shouldn't leave them in the land of ordinary and go into the unknown doomed for failure. 

What they don't know is that though you may in fact encounter the wilderness, as the author likened this to Moses' journey in the bible, you also come face to face with the Dream Giver in the sanctuary. And if you trust the Dream Giver (God) He will guide you through the darkest, most bleakest wilderness into the promised land and empower you to conquer all your demons, warriors and obstacles, leading you not only to your Big dream, but He will help you unlock your full potential to Bigger and Bigger opportunities for the greater good of mankind. Sounds dramatic...but it's soo true as I have witnessed it in my life before.

The author cautioned the reader to beware of "border line bullies" who may come in the form of friends or family members, those in authority or anyone who has the potential to squash and tear your dream into tiny pieces. To make you feel unworthy and crazy for leaving the land of familiar to pursue your dream. He said to take from it what you can and use it constructively to push even harder. Wilkinson also said that sometimes persons may feel angry that you are leaving them in "familiar" among other things.

This book changed my life. Although I had already made my decision before reading, the messages cemented my resolve and connected the dots to see the bigger picture...it has prepared me somewhat for what is ahead and gave me inspiration to continue.

What has this experience with my "border line bully" taught me?

It has provided the impetus to push even harder to become all the things that they say I can't ...to prove them wrong and succeed. I believe I am well positioned at this stage of my life to give it a go...I've been putting it off for years and it's time to take the bull by its horns and devote all my time and energy into something more meaningful and purposeful...something that can help others and also assist me in becoming a better person...

I expect many more of these people to surface, but I will not be swayed...I will not give up and I will not give into their demands. To each his own...I know that only few people walk this walk...only the truly brave and courageous amongst us, who are bent on living their life in colour...living their purpose...influencing lives and being a change-agent and not letting life change and scar them...I plan on becoming one of those persons.

Each one of us was born for a purpose, few of us find it...some find it and don't have the guts and fortitude to pursue it due to commitments or fear...Even if things don't work out exactly the way you expected, at least you would have satisfied yourself and created a name and brand for yourself...caused a shift in at least one person's modus operandi...and left your mark on the world for the better...

That is my definition of success and when I leave this earth...I know my life would have had meaning.

Do you have a passion or special talent? A burning desire, dream or mission in life? Are you actively pursuing it? If not, what's preventing you from pursuing it? Have you already pursued it? Please do share and comment...since I along with many readers of this blog may want to hear and learn from your journey...

Life is short. Don't live your days conforming to the status quo and playing it safe, doing what everyone wants you to do...Don't make yourself miserable by going through the motions of a regimented routine...

When it is even remotely possible...

Peace & Love,
Carolyn

Give a Gift of Love this Christmas

Christmas is finally here...We made it to the BIG day! Rejoice for a King is born! Give thanks for life! Can you believe that after months of planning and anticipation, in only a few more hours and it will be over for some of us on the western hemisphere...it's already over is some parts of the world. 

I do hope that yours was special and was spent in the company of loved ones. At the end of it all when the last present was unwrapped, lights out and ham and grog depleted...we ought to remember that this celebration would not be even possible without Him. The birth of a Saviour who was sent for our salvation so that we may enjoy this day and many more Christmases to come. 

So keep the Christ in your Christmas...give a gift of love, say a prayer for those who need it the most...like the less fortunate or those who may have lost loved ones or may be spending this day alone. Make it merry and always remember the reason for the season. 

Oh and continue to dream your BIG dreams and believe that miracles do happen. If there's something you are wishing for and need in your life right now...have faith, put your trust in Him and believe in your heart that your innermost desires will come true. Think it in your head, believe it in your heart and watch it unfold. Faith can move mountains. 

Many blessings to you and yours this day and alwayz...

Peace &  Carolyn xo