Why You Will Always Be Enough

First published on Elite Daily. Read it here: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/living-mindfully-and-thoughtfully/996673/

I once thought if I got a job I loved and had a flourishing personal life, I would be completely

Stonehaven Bay, Tobago 

and totally happy. I was wrong. When I got the job I always wanted and was at a high point in my personal life, I still found myself wanting more.

Let’s face it: Work takes up a lot of our time, so we might as well enjoy it, right? We look to it to satisfy our needs, in accordance to Maslow’s Hierarchy. 

It is how we achieve fulfilment, acceptance, recognition and respect for both ourselves and others. Knowing our work is making a difference in the lives of others boosts our self-esteem and confidence. But, how can we make it enough?

When I started my own business a year ago, I felt a change. I went from feeling agony, rising in the morning for my 8-to-4 job, to exuberant entrepreneurship. Now, I can’t wait to begin the day and discover all the possibilities that await. In fact, I don’t even want to go to sleep!

But, every now and then, I feel I should be doing more, no matter how many people tell me I'm doing so much already. I think it’s human nature to doubt yourself from time to time. We try to tell ourselves we shouldn't, then we meet or read about someone who is just like us, but doing so much more. You know what, though?

We are exactly where we need to be at any given moment. Our opportunities, capabilities and mindsets are different from said person. Once we know we are trying our best, there’s no need to compare our lives to anyone else’s because we don’t know the sacrifices they made to get where they are.

The only person we need to compare ourselves to, is our former selves. It’s healthy to always aspire to grow beyond yesterday’s goals. Life is fluid and always changing. We must move with life in order to achieve that for which we were created.

If we remained in one spot, we would stunt our growth; there would be no change. While everyone is getting ahead, we would be stuck in a time warp. Fear is real; sometimes, it stifles us and restricts us from living completely. It may be fear of failing, fear of the unknown or fear of what others may think of us for trying something new.

When we focus on living our own lives, what anyone else thinks suddenly becomes irrelevant. We overcome our fears when we visualize how incredible it would be to succeed.

Witnessing the smiling faces of all the people we can help with their dreams is a wonderful feeling. Whether it is a product we created, a service we provided or a feeling we invigorated, that feeling of fulfilment matches no other.

We owe it to ourselves to transcend our limitations and not be stunted by fear. We were made to stand out! We need to condition our minds to find the inner strength to channel our talents into meaningful outlets for expression.

I am certain everyone was born with this ability, but some fail to realize it because of environmental factors and/or the lack of positive reinforcement. We must surround ourselves with positive people who support our dreams and encourage us.

We have to learn to identify the “weak links” and let go of the negativity that cripples our progress and breaks our spirits. We can do anything if we intently and consistently focus on it. 

We must find ways to nurture our talents and motivate ourselves to reach our goals. Once we pursue a career for the right reason — which is to help others — we will reach our destiny in life.

The right situations and people will find us without effort, and all forms of abundance will flow into our lives. We will be at peace with ourselves, and we will no longer compare our journeys to others....We will finally be enough.

Love Me or Leave Me

Welcome to my new and returning visitors. I am elated to get new "hits" again from Switzerland, France and Russia. I LOVE to receive comments from my new and old friends from the UK, Trinidad & Tobago, USA and Jamaica. I just love me some google analytics :) 

Whether it's facebook, google, blogger, twitter or LinkedIn, I've struggled with this social media thing for a long time and I often wondered what does it take for a post to go viral or at least close to it as possible. Sometimes my posts do well, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I lose "likes", followers and connections...but I can never unravel the reasons why. My friends ask me: "Does it matter?" Likes don't indicate sales or even interest, which is so true. Why do we as business owners, authors and artists place so much emphasis on racking up likes and followers?

We can also translate this to real life. What I've learnt from my many human, face-to-face interactions with friends, acquaintances and even family, is that no matter what you do and say in life, people are going to continue thinking what they like. The true blue (genuine) ones will always love you and support you and will keep coming back. They will love you even when you mess up, offend them from time to time, put your foot in your mouth or disagree with something or someone they like. 

They will love you when you make the same mistakes over and over again, when you're sick, heartbroken or flat broke. They will love you when you're doing well and when you're depressed and downtrodden. These folks will tell you when you're doing crap and when you need to "buck up" and change your ways. But no matter what you do, they will always be there for you even if time or waters separate you. These are the ones you want in your circle.

Au contraire, the ones who really don't like you, will never really be genuinely in your corner. Sometimes you can never really tell, but even if they fake it for a while, their true feelings will surface eventually. We have to understand that we are not doing anything wrong and we don't deserve this treatment. 

We also must know that there's nothing we can do to change the way they feel about you. It may not even be you, it can be something you represent to them. Some things just are the way they are. You must accept it in order to relate and move along in life. No hard feelings. Stop trying to impress, just be you and move on.

This philosophy holds true not only for professional relationships, but also personal ones. 

Some things just are.

I need to also accept that one less "like" or follower is not the end of the world. You win some, you lose some. I love you all the same and hope our time was fruitful.

If you want to share your experiences, please feel free to comment below or use the contact form on your right. I wanna hear from you!

Peace & Love

How I Learnt to "Unplug"

OK! So it seems that I'm once more a 'once-a-week blogger.' I'm not sure how I got here again, but somehow I've lost my zeal for blogging (not writing though):( For the first time, I've been deliberately postponing blogging...partly because I just didn't know what to blog about, then I worried unnecessarily about how my blog would be interpreted...After 7 years of blogging, I just had this thought! I often wondered when this day would come, but it's a fleeting thought because I love sharing with you.

Today I "unplugged". I found myself growing more and more tired as the weeks went by, so I returned to a practise that I exercised last year. Once a week, I would not turn on my computer and just devote my time to reading and catching up with family. 

I had planned to spend most of the day in bed, but that was not the case. After going to bed at 4 am this morning working on the FINAL draft of my book, I woke up excited, refreshed and ready to go again at 9:45 am. Drat! I purposely reminded myself that today I was going to take it easy and not get inundated with work. No emails. No book talk. No Skype. No workshop business. Just recharge and catch up.

photo credit - C. K.Correia 2015

I cooked the night before, so it was easy. I spent most of the day on my porch with the gently blowing breeze, taking in some sunshine and the magnificence of nature. The birds, the mountains, the plants and flowers. I stayed there until the sun set and dark crept in. 

During the day I meditated and read 9 chapters of one of the many books I started months ago. I chatted with my mother about everything and anything. I shared with her what I learnt from the various videos I've been researching. I watched her as she watered the plants while I (finally) painted my toes:) We drank tea and exchanged categorically good and bad stories of customer service both locally and abroad. 

We told stories about my Dad and listened to some Jamaican gospel-reggae! It's been over a year, but I could never finish telling her about my own tales about living in Tobago and all the people and situations I encountered. My funniest story was travelling back on the ferry close to midnight one night with thunder and lightning, then driving back home to a blackout! 

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2015

Grown men were seen to be "jumping" whenever thunder rolled and lightning lit up the night skies through the windows. Meanwhile the workers on the boat (so accustomed) laughed loud belly laughs! I was so amused that I bb'd my friends and emailed my sister abroad from my phone, describing to them what was happening. 

(Funny I wasn't really scared, but at the back of my mind I still kept thinking about the Titanic lol. To pass the time I had snacks and a beer at the bar while I watched a movie until the boat docked:)

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2015

Now this April day is almost done and I'm refreshed and recharged, ready to face another week. Just for one day we did not argue or disagree! We took a stroll down memory lane and loved it. We cried and laughed and released. 

I gave my brain a rest and did not worry about my publishing deadlines, unanswered emails, flyers, unwritten articles, interviews and marketing my workshop. 

It was refreshing and it's what good memories are made of. It's feels oh soo good to unplug every now and then. This is gonna be my Sunday ritual from now on. I may even throw in a second day! 

Please feel free to share with us how you unplug from the rest of the world by posting a comment below or via the contact form on your right!

Have a great week :)

Peace & Love

What Sacrifice Means to Me

I know the holiday is almost over, but I just had to stop in for a moment to wish you all a Happy Easter. In some parts of the world, Easter Monday and Tuesday are public holidays and kids are off from school for another week.

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2015

I've tried to make this a non-denominational blog, but tonight I share my feelings on Easter. Subconsciously I've made a promise to myself to attend church more often this year. So Holy Thursday and Glorious Saturday found me attending mass at two different parishes. 

It was a welcome change as some parts of the mass were sung in Latin. I felt a wonderful sense of peace wash over me. Change is good.

For the past few days, I've been reflecting a lot on my life: the past and the future. I picture what life would be like in 10-20 years. Because of my Dad's recent passing, I often think about the mortality of my mother and those around me: myself, my siblings and even my friends. I know, what morbid thoughts! But everyone I talk to have been having similar feelings as people are dropping like flies. It seems to be six degrees of separation as someone we know have died. Depressing, but it's this thing called life!

Although I seemed to have gotten over my grief fairly early, my friends who have been there before, told me this would happen. Easter was a very sad time, save for last night thanks to my friend Beverly. With acceptance comes healing and transformation of our circumstance into a positive learning experience. 

We must find the strength and willpower to overcome and transcend our pain, because there's always more to life. I somehow found the will to get up and get out yesterday and confront my emotions. Today I linked these cathartic feelings to Easter and the death and resurrection of Christ.

No matter our denomination, we can appreciate the significance of sacrifices. By whatever name you call God or whether it is the sacrifices of our parents, loved ones or even we ourselves, we do it in order for the ones we love to enjoy a better life, if we chose to look at it that way.

Easter signifies for Christians the sacrifices Jesus made in order for us to have a second chance. To be free from sin. No matter our sin, how many or how great or small, sin is sin. And it was all washed away on that day...Good Friday. It is up to us, to hold up our end of the bargain and try to live a better life. If not for ourselves, for our children and their children. I'm sure we've all heard "the sins of our forefathers falling on the third and fourth generations." It's just my food for thought.

Have a great week and best wishes for Easter.

Peace & Love.

Have You Disconnected?

Happy April! 

I’m not much of a TV person and the one in my room remains off 80% of the time, but every now and then I tear myself away from my computer to see what I’m missing. Before I know it, I get lost in 'TV Land' where somehow the characters reflect what’s going in my life at the time.

photo credit - C.K. Correia 2015

I remember a conversation I had two years ago in my old apartment in Tobago one night. I could hear my friend Sherry screeching into the other end of the telephone all the way from Trinidad: “Lyn you can’t compare your life to those characters on TV!” 

While this is true, television and movies sometimes reflects the experiences of their writers who are real life people just like us. (She wanted to hear nothing of this though!). I also remember blogging about it back then. It is however, up to us to disconnect when that hour or half hour is up and separate reality from fantasy. 

A good script, like a good book can relay messages that allow you to see your reality a little clearer or give you a different perspective on life. It may even provide healing or allow you to laugh at your situation which may be exactly what you need.

By all appearances today was a great day. It's the little things that somehow elicit good memories like having the funniest chat with my cousin on the phone, completing an article I was working on and running into 6, count them six! friends on the way to and from the gym today. Despite all of this, tonight I felt a lingering uneasy feeling that I cannot quite describe. 

Still very much in mourning, I try to distract myself with all the exciting things going on in my life, like my new book. Maybe it’s lack of sleep! Then I turn on the tele and escape to a world where nothing else matters. 

My hour is up and I have disconnected from their world. I have laughed and found the lessons. Now I’m back to regularly scheduled programming and ready to embrace my life once again. 

Let's transform our dreams into reality this April and in the months ahead. Stay tuned to this space.

What are some of your favourite shows and what has it taught you?

Peace & Love

How Do You Know When You've Found Your Purpose?

I've been bad. I haven't blogged in a week. I guess it's just one of those spells. This doesn't mean I haven't been writing. So much going on as I plan for my upcoming workshop and book launch.

photo credit - C.K.Correia All rights reserved 2015

I had my first assignment as a features writer last evening. It was an amazing rush. I really don't know what all the nerves were about since this story exceeded my expectations. 

It was a human interest story and though I can't divulge all the details at the moment, I left inspired. It is my deepest wish that I too motivated the group in some way. 

Fear is a big part of some of our lives. I wrote about this in my second book. I had no doubt that I could write the article, but it was the interview and facing a new situation/group that I was uncertain about. No matter how many times I've conquered similar fears in the past, I am still nervous before I make that step. That was worry wasted since my fear left as soon as I stepped into the room and introduced myself.

Once we condition our minds to overcome our fears, we begin to believe that we can do anything we set out to do. Self-talk is good, visualization is better. This helps to block out the external "noise" and the negative thoughts in our subconscious. Our life can be an example to others. We must try to live our passion daily in all our interactions and this will be reflected in those we meet.

When I returned home last night, I was energized and on fire! I was happy to make a difference and glad to interact with new persons. I felt connected to their mission and drive for improvement. I felt at one with myself and my purpose. I thought that if I could do this everyday for the rest of my life, I would have found eternal joy.

What if I tell you, that you can find this too? Believe in the dream for a better day. Stay tuned to this space for more.

Peace & Love

Character is Everything

Tonight's blog I promise is going to be a short one. This week had it's highs and lows and at

photo credit - C. K. Correia 2015. Al rights reserved
Mason Hall, Tobago

the end of it, I am grateful for the outcome. I've been awash with a sea of emotions since so much is going on simultaneously, but I'm excited about the journey. 

I've been grappling with declaring my faith in the public realm, but today I can't help but shout it from the rooftops that prayer never fails. So many fantastic things happening in my life and I owe it all to my faith. 

Something that's been on my mind for the past year has finally come to pass and it is only short of miraculous. Although I can't declare it publicly as yet, I am amazed at the power of intent. 

I've been even thinking about it on the ferry to Tobago recently and remembered asking a friend for his advice. I returned from my vacation with it still on my mind and as I drove to my destination, I got a call with the good news! A proposal I sent almost a year ago to date was discovered and well the rest is history. The person on the other end of the line declared: "Nothing before it's time." Wow!

As I watch other pieces of this great big puzzle of life fall into place, I stand back and smile. I silently and sometimes literally jump for joy. I can't believe that God is showering me with all these blessings despite my imperfection. I am happy and grateful for another chance to work on my frailties, put the past to bed and let my inner light shine. A couple wise people once told me: "Carolyn, it's all about character. Outward appearances are just that. They don't mean anything. Character is everything."

We are all a work in progress, but the genuine people will always see your true worth.

Peace & Love.

Have a great weekend.

Bring Back the Old Time Days!

I am trying to keep my blogs short from now on based on the reviews over the years. But sometimes you know you have soo much to say! Something happened today that I was debating whether to blog about. It should not even be an afterthought, but it got a second thought despite my intentions. 

photo credit - C.K. Correia All rights reserved 2010
Macqueripe Beach, Trinidad

On my way home from two meetings today I stopped by the mall to exchange a pair of shoes. As I was walking back to my car, some girls and a guy was sitting on a bench. I did not really look up to meet their gaze as I passed, since I was concentrating on navigating around the puddle of water in front of me. 

Still, I ALMOST slipped in my heels. As I passed by, something very derogatory was said by one of the girls. Something to the effect of: if I should fall, they would just laugh because I purposely stepped into the puddle of water!

I thought about this and how nice it would have been to react to this statement. Then I just shook my head and wondered if this is what our society has been reduced to. I spoke about this briefly in my first book - Thinking out Loud. I wondered what happened to the good old days our elders told us about. Then I remembered this is just one person. This is not a representation of the wider society. After my car accident last year, I realized that there are still good people who genuinely care about helping others. 

As my memoir unfolded, I also came to this realization on my own. I discovered this also (as far as) Grenada and Tobago. Though this second book is about my professional journey, I also disclosed some personal sentiments which accounted for my growth. I started off in one of the earlier chapters mentioning that I find that authenticity in many relationships (both platonic and romantic) are lacking, as so many I thought to be close to me have shattered my sense of trust. By chapter 11, I realized that the universe has always been working things out in my favour my whole life, if only I slowed down long enough to take notice. I was either being protected or prepared/strengthened for something greater.

Things are always working in the background. Every perceived bad occurrence in your life, is a blessing turned inside out. The cliché: "find a silver lining" holds true. Be still and quiet the internal "noise" and you would suddenly become aware of your disguised blessings. Can you also think of ways where this is happening in your life? Feel free to post a comment below.

Have a great weekend.

Peace & Love

ps I don't think I succeeded in keeping it short!

No More Living in the Past

I just spent the most fabulous 6 days on the sister-isle of Tobago. It was a very impromptu decision which are usually the best ones. What I didn't do, I forgot to...I was having too much fun to remember. I really came to do work, but that notion quickly disappeared. 

photo credit -  © C.K. Correia 2015 - All rights reserved
Englishman's Bay, Tobago

My friends back home told me I needed a brain cooler and almost without effort I found just that. I drove around the countryside villages of Moriah, Englishman's Bay, Castara, Parlatuvier, Bloody Bay, L'Anse Fourmi, Runnymede and exited thru the other end of the island to Roxborough, Belle Garden, Goodwood, Mt. St. George, Scarborough and back to my old home of Mason Hall. 

I went to Harvest (sharing of food and drink) and ate enough curry goat, provisions and buss-up-shut to feed a town:). I got to see my brother again and took in some limbo at Sunday School and caught up with (literally) ten more of my friends at a new liming spot. Still couldn't get to see everyone, but words can't describe how great it was seeing the ones I was able to meet up with. They feel like "home"...like if I've known them a lifetime. I have now returned to reality refreshed, relaxed, rejuvenated and ready to go again! I feel like I have a new lease on life.

Last night I used the ferry ride back home to unwind and today I skipped gym to attend my meditation class all rested to get the full effect. When I returned home, things that bothered me 6 days ago, took longer to take effect. I think I may be on to something. Tobago+Meditation[+Gym] = Recipe for serenity and a healthy body, mind and soul.

On my last trip in September, I thought I got over my Tobago tabanca, but I was wrong. Revealing some of those carefree, liberated awakenings I had when I lived there in 2013 in my memoir made me yearn for more. 

Somewhere along the 6 days, I realized that being back on the island and in my old apartment did not have the same effect. I still absolutely love the feel of the place, but I had a simple yet marked revelation: Time did not stand still! Not for me, nor for everybody else. Things are quite different two years later. 

I LOVED my life then, but I like the one I have now too: renewing old friendships, following my dream and all the new people that have come into my life are priceless joys. I can't recreate those identical moments and emotions 2013 brought just by being back in the same place. It's different. I can't live in the past. I must move on. Life goes on and I can't wait for all the exciting things that are in store. Like my mother always says: "Time waits on no man."

I can always go back when I need to. And I can always re-visit my memories of my Dad of when he was alive and visited me with my sister, as well as all my other adventures whilst there. Maybe I would even return to live one day, but for right now, I must live in the NOW and I have a feeling it's gonna be one heck of a ride. 

What are you waiting for? Are you living in the NOW?!! Feel free to share by posting a comment below.

Peace & Love