Relativity

Today is my sisters' birthday (yes they're twins). The one I refer to in this blog had a great day. But not for the reason you may think. Every time I asked her if she was having a good day she said yes. She enjoyed it in her own way doing what she loved.

I offered to take her and my Mom for ice-cream on the bay. To this she said no. I invited her to come with me to my meditation class this evening, you guessed it. She opted to stay home. 

So what made her day so special? She got to stay home and watch her favourite shows on the tele! Yesterday she sat in my room while I read her an excerpt from my new book and watched Amy Winehouse videos. For her this was fun...and for me too.

However if you made me stay home all day to watch TV (one of my least favourite pastimes for a number of years) I would think you are punishing me. But to my older sister, she was in TV heaven! I guess it's an age specific thing as a couple of my older friends her age also love television.

So to answer the aged-old question: what makes you happy? Staying true to yourself and just "doing you!" Can't go wrong with that...hits the spot every time. To use the words of one of my friends when he described my writing and synopsis for my new book: "no forced extravagance."

Yup my sister is keeping it real.

In a few days I collect her Transformer tablet. I expect that this will "transform" her life!  lol. Indeed it would be hard separating her from that device for a greater part of the day! Ahhh!

What do you love to do on your birthday?! Do share.

Don't miss another post, follow my blog by clicking the button on your right.

You can also stay connected on twitter @lyncorr or "like" me on facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia

Happy Birthday to all the January babies born on this day!

Peace & Love

Which is the Lesser Evil?

Monday got off to a good start. I made a lot of progress. Then this happens. My bliss was not meant to be, but such is life. It doesn't take away from all the work I got done and connections I made.

I must say once again: thank God for good friends (you know who you are!) and thank God for technology. A friend of mine despite the waters that separate us, rescued me from a toxic situation tonight with his words of wisdom. Though I've only known him a few months, he always believes in me despite showing him my flaws and he does wonders to rejuvenate my spirit...Many blessings to you!

Someone else asked me tonight about trust. That's a very serious word. What is trust if it doesn't go both ways? Many of us struggle with this issue and never find the answer. I will keep searching until I do. 

I've trusted many and been disappointed many more times over, both in personal and professional life. I'm sure we have all been. But how does this guide our decisions going forward?

It would be great to believe that communication is the answer, but sometimes this does not work for several reasons. Even if it appears to work for a while, I'm beginning to think that people would always think and act as they please. This despite your greatest efforts to explain to them rationally otherwise. 

Deceit and jealousy I think are the two worst evils in the world. I think I can deal with anything else, but this has been the root of all evil since the beginning of time. It cascades onto other areas of the infected person's life and causes more damage. 

There are many resulting side-effects like anger, betrayal, sabotage, character assassination and reproachful behaviourial patterns. I could go on and on, but time does not permit.

The question is: would we ever be able to escape it? To be comfortable in our own skin, be grateful for our own blessings and be genuinely happy for others despite our differences? It only takes one person to poison the well and begin a chain reaction of distrust and negativity. 

If we can't be honest with ourselves, there's no room for trust with anyone else.

Peace

Sun Is Shining, Weather Is Sweet!

Happy Sunday ALL! Hope this day meets you in fine spirits. I was feeling a bit down (missing my Dad) then woke/got up, went outside and realized that the "Sun is shining, weather is sweet" (today:) and I'm ALIVE! There's LOTS to be thankful for. 

Sad days are expected every now and then, but we should not let the feelings linger too long...I know I needed to pull myself together when a friend whatsapp'd me and made me think of how much more fun awaits in life. After hearing a couple of your 'weather reports' I was reminded of how much I wanted to travel the world in my lifetime...

So far I've only been to #England, Grenada, Northern California/San Francisco/San Jose/Santa Clara etc, New York/Jersey and Texas...There's no place like home though and I'm counting down the days when I'm back on the sister isle of sweet #Tobago grin emoticon

Where have you visited? And what are some of your burning desires which you hope to do in your #lifetime?! I would love to hear from YOU!

 — feeling positive

Reunion Tower, Dallas Texas

Tower Bridge, London

Gouyave, Grenada

Is It Okay To Be Your Only Fan?!

Tonight I am having a glass of wine in celebration of all my hard work this past week. It was long in coming. I kept saying I must make time to celebrate but I haven't. Sometimes a "time-out" is necessary to reward ourselves for a job well done. Well, "good" is a relative concept, but once we are happy with ourselves that's the first step. Confidence is important.

That brings me to another point. Is it okay to work in a capsule where you are your only fan?! Sometimes I write something and re-read it a gazillion times because I am so pleased, then someone else may not get the same feeling about it! Has this ever happened to you and what do you do about it?

Hmmm. 

After careful thought, I think that when it comes to certain things like writing, singing, cooking...which is better enjoyed by other people, we must aim to please. I don't write for myself, nor do I buy my own books and CDs. Therefore I must ensure that I listen to the feedback and concerns of my readers and listeners. If I don't do this, then my work is in vain.

At the same time, if you listen to too many opinions, you lose your sense of identity. You get swept away by what other people think and your sense of self diminishes. You lose confidence and self-worth and eventually your drive and passion would diminish.

We don't want that! So whatever you love to do, ensure that you strike a healthy balance.

I encourage feedback! If you don't want to miss another post, please "follow" this blog via the button on your right.

Peace & Love

You May Never Be Perfect, But That's OK

Today is Friday. It was a good day. A sad day for some. An ordinary day for most. For me it was just average, but I am thankful. Most times we don't look at our days in the grand scheme of things, but I realize I ought to do this more often.

photo credit - C.K. Correia all rights reserved 2014
Pigeon Point Beach, Tobago

I am at mental place where I am still establishing my footing as an entrepreneur and I realize that I have lots to learn yet. 

I am glad for the fantastic network of friends and colleagues who are always there to lend support whenever I need it. 

As I revisited my second book with the suggested edits from my editor, I realized that my story is ever changing. This is because I am changing. I am constantly growing and my evolution is part of living. If you don't change, there's no growth.

While I feel there's still so much more to learn and adapt to, I remain aware of my actions and shortcomings. Sometimes it's so hard to adapt to things in your environment, because every time you say you will do X, Y gets in the way. It's as though the devil tries his darnest to see you falter! How many of you feel this way?

But yet I fight. I try. I fail. I get up again and try and try until I succeed. It's a continuous journey. After several baby steps, one day you may be astonished to discover that while you weren't paying attention, you've taken a giant leap in the right direction. 

One thing I bear in mind: We are all human and none of us are perfect. Perfection is an illusion. It's like trying to catch your own shadow. It will never happen...no matter how hard you try.

So go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. I remain conscious of myself and my journey. I am very aware of the things I need to work on, but I take it one step at a time. That's life. I may never get it completely right, but as long as I keep trying, in time I may get close enough to put my mind at ease. And that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things. 

Have a great weekend all! Remember to Make it Count!

Peace & Love

Fancy this post? Don't miss another one! Follow my blog via the link on the right or "like" me on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingoutLoudbyCarolynCorreia

I Did It My Way

Conditioning the mind is so important to constructive thought. Whenever I think I can't, I tell myself "I can" and focus my mind with all my might on the task ahead. Sometimes it's not easy, as there are lots of variables to deal with on a daily basis, but it is very possible.

I felt pulled in so many different directions for the past couple weeks trying to tie up loose ends and get things done. In the process I forgot that my mind also needed a break. I've been working on getting my body back up to its usual fitness levels and forgot to take time out to meditate and just be. I think my meditation class put me back into this mode.

I know there are lots of things I have to work on still, as I realize I still allow petty things to anger me. But you know what? When you realize that God is in control, you just wait on Him to do His work. There's nothing you can do, but pray and sit and wait. He will deal with things in His own time and He is always on time.

Right now, my focus is to manage my time wisely and cautiously and choose the people I allow to get close to me. Through my meditation I will ask for the gift of discernment since I am still learning that all that glitters is not gold. I was just telling my agent that today. It's like a rude awakening the lengths people go to hide who they really are.

Today I edited my friend's Dad eulogy and tomorrow I deliver. Her words made me YouTube Ol Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra). I had a good cry to get it out of my system. Although I did not know her Dad, I feel her pain. I cried for her Dad, my Dad and even Frank Sinatra as he sung "My Way"! I got lost in time to a period in history long ago. 

Tonight I also completed a project that I was working on and I am pleased and proud of the result. Now I wait to see how I feel about it, then submit and wait some more for feedback from the client.

Today I did it my way and I love how it feels.

Cheers~

What My First Meditation Class Taught Me

On Monday night I attended a meditation class. My first. It was cool. Except I reached a few minutes late and walked around the building a few times trying to get an entry point! The doors were all locked. I heard persons speaking in tongues and decided to knock on the door. Finally someone told me it was upstairs only to get turned away by my fear of entering a dark, empty room. Drat! It was the right venue, but see what fear and silence does?!

Yikes. So after a few more trips down the stairs then up again, I finally "found my way". Hurray! So I missed the initial "talk" and I basically sat there in silence with my own thoughts for a good 15-20 minutes. What did I do? 

I reflected on what transpired just before I got there. My neighbour blocked my driveway (yet again for the millionth time over the past few years) so I had to honk on my horn with all my might at that hour of the night. Hence me being late. Sigh. Now you see part of my reason for moving to Tobago?! lol. I felt my anger subside.

I reflected on my business/company and all the meetings and feedback I have been receiving thus far for the year. I reflected on my book and my editor's comments and all the work I have to do still. I thought about my car insurance premium that I had to pay this week! 

I thought about balancing all the things in my now packed schedule and how exciting it all is. I said a silent prayer for my Dad and released. I thought about my friend who also lost her Dad this past week. I thought about everyone who was going through a loss and how they are coping. I prayed for my Mom to come to terms with her loss.

I looked around and wondered what the other persons in the group were reflecting on....then I returned to my centre. I heard the bell chime very low three times, meanwhile following the lit candle and the red light on the CD player all the while. The most beautiful serene music came on which I thought was Latin, but later found out was really English. It reminded my of the Ave Maria I played at my Dad's funeral. I felt a peace wash over me...thru and thru.

Indeed it was interesting. I exchanged greetings with the host who invited me and apologized for my tardiness. I learnt that once you let go of your fear you can get to the church on time! lol. No just kidding, I learnt that when we overcome our fears, what seemed crippling, can actually be the key to finding our peace, letting go of those troubling thoughts and embracing the unknown to achieve what can be viewed as safety and wholeness.

I look forward to next week's session. I will be on time this time. I plan to get there a half hour before and listen to "the talk". I also plan to meditate some more about my neighbour. Some things never change. 

Divine Order

Peace & Love

Momma Said There Would Be Days Like This

There are so many things to be grateful for, yet we are human.

I've discovered that it's okay to have an off day...to not be barrels of fun and just lay low. My turn was today. Although I was busy going to meetings and getting things done, in those quiet moments I felt an unease. I felt it as I awoke this morning and the feeling lingered even as I worked out at the gym. I think it's partly because I feel for my Mom who is still coming to terms with my father's death.

I try my best to reassure and comfort her daily, but her memories and emotions run deeper than I thought. Tonight I listened to her tell stories of when she and my Dad were young and in love and it kinda made me sad too! But I must pull myself together since I am helping a friend with the eulogy for her Dad and reading it on her behalf at his funeral this week.

I was so dry-eyed when I did it for my own father that I think I should be okay. Maybe this will be part of my healing process. Anything for a sister (in Christ). I will be okay.

Tomorrow is another day and baby steps is all it takes. 

Divine Order.

Peace & Love

I am in it for Life!

Sunday is a rest day for most people and it was for me. Although I set out to work on various projects today, sad to say I did not get much done. I cooked and tied up some loose ends.

My day started out with some old friends that came to the house to do some business. It was refreshing in so many ways to catch up and really listen to each other. I am very happy for having stayed in contact with so many joyful and genuinely wonderful people.

Speaking of which, I met the most beautiful little soul today as well. He is just 3 years old and his name is Jadon. I think I am in love with this little guy! He is my friends' son. Although I don't want any kids of my own, my heart turns to marshmallows whenever I am around them or see photos (mostly the little ones, especially babies). 

I love kids but God knows what He does. I don't think I have the fortitude for the long haul. Maybe one day I will adopt but for now, I'll just cuddle and admire from afar! 

Children are a full time job that never stops, not even at 18. So once you decide to take on this responsibility, you must be in it with your whole heart. Your actions can affect another person for the rest of their life!

For now, my baby is writing. And I am in it for life!

Stay tuned as we journey together.

Peace & Love